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I put men I date second to my job and school constantly. I figure I can focus on putting a guy first once I am done with school and have achieved what I want in my career (aka OLDER).
This is why I've put dating on hold for the moment. I work 70 hours a week and I'm going to school, so I wouldn't be able to give a woman my full undivided attention, which IMO isn't fair to her.
Coming in second because of work or children can't be helped. Coming in second because an electronic device is totally not cool. But, of course, people are becoming more ADHD with advancing technology. Two mere humans can not entertain each other enough anymore.
I was just watching a movie about a the past (in 1909) when there were no TVs, telephones, computers, and many people (esp. poor women) could not even read. What ever did they do to entertain themselves when all the daily work was done? They talked, sang songs, played together and told stories and the people who could read read to the group from a book and they were a lot more easily entertained. and getting the postal mail was something very exciting, as someone special may have written you a letter that you've been waiting so long for.
Coming in second because of work or children can't be helped. Coming in second because an electronic device is totally not cool. But, of course, people are becoming more ADHD with advancing technology. Two mere humans can not entertain each other enough anymore.
I was just watching a movie about a the past (in 1909) when there were no TVs, telephones, computers, and many people (esp. poor women) could not even read. What ever did they do to entertain themselves when all the daily work was done? They talked, sang songs, played together and told stories and the people who could read read to the group from a book and they were a lot more easily entertained. and getting the postal mail was something very exciting, as someone special may have written you a letter that you've been waiting so long for.
I have to admit I am the one with the problem of making my SO feel as if he's coming in second I LOVE technology and all the gadgets it has to offer I lose track of time and we have very little time to spend in the first place.
It's funny how people have changed even in the last few years since smart phones and beings able to play games and get online it's a whole new world and I'm not sure if it's a good thing
The key is balance. You obviously dont want your SO to be clingy and co-dependent by constantly trying to engage you in activities or conversation, but the two of you must spend at least some time together otherwise what's the point of being in a relationship.
I like that my husband and I share similar hobbies, such as online gaming. That way, no one has to give anyone ultimatums. I knew he was a gamer long before we were together, and vice-verse.
Granted, it doesn't interfere with our jobs, or housework, going out, etc - but others on the outside, looking in, would probably assume we were both 'addicted' or wonder 'what's wrong with us' if they happened to see us both with our headsets on, talking to teammates online, furiously clicking our mice and hitting our keyboards while trying to kill other people and/or creatures for hours at a time
LOL
I so relate to this post. Luckily my husband understands that I can't eat right now because I'm in the middle of a battleground with my Guild totally owning the Allies.
I play video games with my husband as well. We both enjoy the time we spend gaming together. However I am a lot more into the internet and chatting on messenger than he is.
I have a few strategies to ensure I am giving him quality time. When he gets home from work I turn completely away from the computer, make eye contact with him and focus on the discussion with him. We eat dinner at the dinner table away from all the technology. The main thing is that when he is talking to me, I physically turn away from whatever I was reading or typing and focus on the conversation. If I am gaming I will ask him to wait until I get to a safe place, and then I will park my character and talk to him.
I so relate to this post. Luckily my husband understands that I can't eat right now because I'm in the middle of a battleground with my Guild totally owning the Allies.
I play video games with my husband as well. We both enjoy the time we spend gaming together. However I am a lot more into the internet and chatting on messenger than he is.
I have a few strategies to ensure I am giving him quality time. When he gets home from work I turn completely away from the computer, make eye contact with him and focus on the discussion with him. We eat dinner at the dinner table away from all the technology. The main thing is that when he is talking to me, I physically turn away from whatever I was reading or typing and focus on the conversation. If I am gaming I will ask him to wait until I get to a safe place, and then I will park my character and talk to him.
That's true we don't allow electronics at the dinner table that is a family rule but my problem is that I get into texting friends or browsing the Internet or Facebook darn FB
Everyone deals with this. Lots of men complain of coming in second to the wife's job and the children. Its reality. At least you know where you stand on the priority list. I think its pretty common that spouses get taken for granted, and their needs ignored. Most people are very selfish. Its actually each individual's happiness that comes first. We have a nation full of narcissists.
I don't expect coming in first to my wife, and she doesn't come in first to me. I think it's unrealistic to expect that of each other. We both have hobbies that the other doesn't do. For example, I do a lot of hiking and backpacking. In the summer and fall, if I have a day off, I won't be home. I'll be out of cell range somewhere. She doesn't care for this stuff, so for half the year we don't see each other much. For much of our marriage I had a job that kept me out of town five days a week on average. When I was in town, I had to rush to get stuff done before leaving again. That's life. Things don't always mesh in the ways we'd like.
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I LOVE technology and all the gadgets it has to offer 
I lose track of time and we have very little time to spend in the first place. 
or Facebook darn FB
