friends of the oppostite sex (man, gay, family, divorced)
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The issue is a little different if you're not in a relationship. I had female friends when I was single but even so I think some of those friendships had the potential to be something more.
The problem I see is when you're in a relationship I don't believe it's typical to have strong opposite sex friendships. The opposing posters are being general in their posts. To be more specific lets say you're a female and your SO goes on a weekend camping trip with his buddy. You might be ok with that but would you be ok if the buddy was s female?
The issue is a little different if you're not in a relationship. I had female friends when I was single but even so I think some of those friendships had the potential to be something more.
The problem I see is when you're in a relationship I don't believe it's typical to have strong opposite sex friendships. The opposing posters are being general in their posts. To be more specific lets say you're a female and your SO goes on a weekend camping trip with his buddy. You might be ok with that but would you be ok if the buddy was s female?
No, it wouldn't be okay with me if his buddy was female. Maybe it sounds hypocritical if everyone is a friend, however, when guys get together, there's that idea of male bonding going on, without the women around. It's infrequent but I'm always happy for SO if he and some buddies can get together without the wives and kids. What type of bonding goes on with an opposite sex friend that he would rather spend the weekend connecting with a female friend than his wife/gf?
I'm okay with opposite sex friends, but I am not comfortable with my SO taking a trip with another woman, instead of me, the woman he's chosen to share his life with. Fortunately that's a non-issue in my relationship.
Yeah, that's a better way of putting it. "Maturity" sounds more judgmental than I was intending.
I hear ya! I didn't want to sound judgmental either, but sometimes a particular comment like "male female friendships are affairs" make me laugh outloud.
I hear ya! I didn't want to sound judgmental either, but sometimes a particular comment like "male female friendships are affairs" make me laugh outloud.
Just to clear up the origin of that statement ... It came from Jerry Seinfeld on his show. Not my invention, but it rings true in my mind. Although there are no absolutes.
I hear ya! I didn't want to sound judgmental either, but sometimes a particular comment like "male female friendships are affairs" make me laugh outloud.
Yeah, even in high school and college I don't really recall people in my groups having that view. Everyone always had friends of both sexes.
No, it wouldn't be okay with me if his buddy was female. Maybe it sounds hypocritical if everyone is a friend, however, when guys get together, there's that idea of male bonding going on, without the women around. It's infrequent but I'm always happy for SO if he and some buddies can get together without the wives and kids. What type of bonding goes on with an opposite sex friend that he would rather spend the weekend connecting with a female friend than his wife/gf?
I'm okay with opposite sex friends, but I am not comfortable with my SO taking a trip with another woman, instead of me, the woman he's chosen to share his life with. Fortunately that's a non-issue in my relationship.
Gosh, I don't know, the fact that I (his wife)HATES CAMPING and they (him and his female friend) have been going on the same camping trip for 25 years. My husband does a lot of things without me for numerous reasons and he is going to take a whitewater rafting trip with another female friend this summer and I am not going. I hate camping, I am terrified of water and I refuse to put myself through that just to "keep an eye on my husband".........blech.........he would not be my husband if I did not trust him, it is that simple.
I do not need to know where my husband is or what he is doing 24/7/365, he is a mature adult who can make his own decisions. He is my PARTNER not my PROPERTY.
*and humans wonder why they have relationship issues when it comes to jealously*
Gosh, I don't know, the fact that I (his wife)HATES CAMPING and they (him and his female friend) have been going on the same camping trip for 25 years. My husband does a lot of things without me for numerous reasons and he is going to take a whitewater rafting trip with another female friend this summer and I am not going. I hate camping, I am terrified of water and I refuse to put myself through that just to "keep an eye on my husband".........blech.........he would not be my husband if I did not trust him, it is that simple.
I do not need to know where my husband is or what he is doing 24/7/365, he is a mature adult who can make his own decisions. He is my PARTNER not my PROPERTY.
*and humans wonder why they have relationship issues when it comes to jealously*
Good for you. I don't need to keep an eye on my SO, and I don't view him as property, but the fact that I'm not comfortable with him taking trips with another woman doesn't make me a jealous and unenlightened shrew. Again, it's not an issue because it doesn't occur in my relationship, but your relationship is not the standard to which all should aspire to. Yours is the exception, not the rule.
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