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First, there is the engagement ring, $5-6k (after tax) is a minimum expectation it seems these days, then wedding bands (another $1k) then the wedding itself... looking around $25-30k seems to be the average, then the honeymoon, another $5k or so... when all is said and done we're talking close to $50k!!
I just got married, and spent a lot more than that. But I've also been saving and investing a ton for years. My wife is 12 years younger than I am, so she's at the big deal wedding age, and I was in a better position to do this than her parents were. That said, a lot of it is unnecessary, I barely remember the band it went by so fast, and we spent days debating this topic.
Our license was $40. We were going to just get married at the courthouse, but we decided to do it at a neat little chapel instead. That was an additional $250. We only had four guests...our parents (both sets are still on their original marriages...lol). Wedding bands were probably $250-$300 for both, my non-wedding dress was $60. It was a great, stress-free day.
The next day we drove to my hometown for the weekend, and dinner for my closest family and friends was $400.
We could have done the whole thing cheaper, but I'm glad we changed our mind about the location.
There doesn't have to be a fancy wedding, just a modest reception at someone's home or a church basement. The ring depends on her taste; I've met a woman who fell in love with a JC Penney low-cost engagement ring. If she's truly into you, she'll love it for the sentimental value. You can always upgrade years down the line, and make a nice ceremony of it. OR: you can ask your mom if she has your grandmother's engagement ring. Recycle. Family heirloom, special meaning, all that jazz.
I got married 19 years ago in a justice of the peace wedding, but my wife's parents insisted on having a church ceremony about 6 months later. They gave us some money for the reception, but we did it on a budget by having the reception in their backyard with a New England style clambake. To this day, all the friends we invited to the wedding say it was the most enjoyable, casual, relaxed wedding they've ever been to.
We got married sooner than expected because our son was on the way so there was no engagement ring, only wedding bands. About 7 years ago I had to make up for it big-time with a nice ring, but we were in a much better financial position to do that.
I think the couple has to talk things out at the time of engagement to decide how they want to do things, and if they aren't on the same page or willing to compromise in some way, that for me would be a big red-flag on getting into a lifelong committment with somebody.
First, there is the engagement ring, $5-6k (after tax) is a minimum expectation it seems these days, then wedding bands (another $1k) then the wedding itself... looking around $25-30k seems to be the average, then the honeymoon, another $5k or so... when all is said and done we're talking close to $50k!!
And this seems to be very average, not high end at all.
My question, how do people afford it? Especially considering that marriage often means starting a new family which leads to even more very high expenses - buying a home, family cars, kids etc.
How many people can blow this kind of money and then continue into making expensive choices like buying homes and having kids?
Where do you come up with these numbers? lol
I got an absolutely beautiful engagement ring during a 33% off sale for $2.5k, with high quality diamonds. I could have gotten some very nice rings for like $1.5k, but I already had a budget. Wedding bands are not expensive and weddings.. well, my sister had a beautiful wedding for about $1,200.
It's not how much money you have, it's how you spend it.
I got married 19 years ago in a justice of the peace wedding, but my wife's parents insisted on having a church ceremony about 6 months later. They gave us some money for the reception, but we did it on a budget by having the reception in their backyard with a New England style clambake. To this day, all the friends we invited to the wedding say it was the most enjoyable, casual, relaxed wedding they've ever been to.
We got married sooner than expected because our son was on the way so there was no engagement ring, only wedding bands. About 7 years ago I had to make up for it big-time with a nice ring, but we were in a much better financial position to do that.
I think the couple has to talk things out at the time of engagement to decide how they want to do things, and if they aren't on the same page or willing to compromise in some way, that for me would be a big red-flag on getting into a lifelong committment with somebody.
Nice story.
And this is a good point, about having discussions about the wedding plans be the final test of compatibility. If it ends up in constant fights, that could be a red flag. If they're already on the same page, or both parties are flexible enough to compromise in different ways, but also have some areas of agreement, that's a winning couple!
This is Southern California and people here are constantly trying to outdo each other even if they have no pot to pee in. In know many who spent $30k on a wedding when they did not have any savings in the bank - they either borrowed from their 401k, took out a loan and/or used their credit cards.
Over here $20k is as cheap as any woman is going to accept, after that you're just viewed as a cheap-ass, especially if you have the income/savings to afford it.
Exactly. I'm female and didn't give a damn about an engagement ring and wear a plain gold wedding band. Our wedding cost about $400. The money we would have spent on meaningless rings and opulent weddings was invested instead in gold bars. That was 21 years ago. Believe me, that investment panned out big time. I'd rather have that profit than some stupid-ass diamond ring.
And I caution any man who is trapped in a relationship with some high maintenance woman who demands fancy weddings and all the expense involved in it.
This is Southern California and people here are constantly trying to outdo each other even if they have no pot to pee in. Over here $20k is as cheap as any woman is going to accept it....
Wrong. I grew up in Malibu. Read my prior post.
Not all of us S-Californian women are as vapid as you claim.
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