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No I was saying that when a women ask that question so early on, it gives off the vibe that she is looking for a guy so she can have a baby not connect with him and build a relationship
Or she wants (or doesn't want) kids and would like to figure out if you're compatible on that issue before she gets too invested and attached.
I'm creating this thread mostly to vent and hopefully to get support and or helpful feedback, though as far as advice goes, I don't see much of a way around my issue.
Here's the thing with me: I don't like dating multiple people. In the past I would find someone I was crazy about, or who I thought was a good match, and settle down with that person. But looking back, I think I wasn't looking hard enough to find the right person because none of the people I dated exclusively ended up being a good match, it's why I'm single today.
Right now specifically, I'm in a race against time. I'm in my mid-30s and have fertility issues. My fertility issues are not insurmountable, but they are definitely an obstacle that's going to become more challenging as I age.
If I want to have my own biological children, I need to find someone to settle down with in the next year or so. If I don't, I may run out of time. The issue is, I don't want to settle down with just anyone but rather someone who is a good fit for me. I literally don't have the time to casually date just one person for 6 months and "see how it goes", if I want to be married and settled before trying to get pregnant. I would LOVE to have that kind of time, but I don't. So, in order to be as efficient as possible, I have to date multiple people at once. It sucks, but I don't really see any way around it given my end goals, I wish things were different.
I've talked to my friends about freezing my eggs, but it's expensive and painful (to extract them), and more challenging for me than others given my fertility condition. In addition to all that, it just seem ludicrous to go through that given I don't even have a boyfriend right now. Maybe I should anyway. I dunno.
I don't know how you come across to the guys you date but I just exited a relationship with a woman also in her mid 30s in a race against time. While the early discussions about weddings should have been a clue to me in the end her thinly veiled desperation became too much and I had to pull the plug. Ironically if she just left well enough alone we would probably be engaged by now.
I feel that I have too much going on for myself to be some woman's consolation prize.
I think I rather just date a woman who already has a kid or none. not someone single looking to get pregnant
Your literally playing with your life because if she leaves then he is into child support for the next 18 years, that's a pretty tall order to get laid a few times. Its not like a video game where you get extra lives. You don't get to cycle out 18 years of frugal living and then get to start your early 20's over again.
I'm creating this thread mostly to vent and hopefully to get support and or helpful feedback, though as far as advice goes, I don't see much of a way around my issue.
Here's the thing with me: I don't like dating multiple people. In the past I would find someone I was crazy about, or who I thought was a good match, and settle down with that person. But looking back, I think I wasn't looking hard enough to find the right person because none of the people I dated exclusively ended up being a good match, it's why I'm single today.
Right now specifically, I'm in a race against time. I'm in my mid-30s and have fertility issues. My fertility issues are not insurmountable, but they are definitely an obstacle that's going to become more challenging as I age.
If I want to have my own biological children, I need to find someone to settle down with in the next year or so. If I don't, I may run out of time. The issue is, I don't want to settle down with just anyone but rather someone who is a good fit for me. I literally don't have the time to casually date just one person for 6 months and "see how it goes", if I want to be married and settled before trying to get pregnant. I would LOVE to have that kind of time, but I don't. So, in order to be as efficient as possible, I have to date multiple people at once. It sucks, but I don't really see any way around it given my end goals, I wish things were different.
I've talked to my friends about freezing my eggs, but it's expensive and painful (to extract them), and more challenging for me than others given my fertility condition. In addition to all that, it just seem ludicrous to go through that given I don't even have a boyfriend right now. Maybe I should anyway. I dunno.
You ideally want your own children and have fertility issues then you best to freeze your eggs so you have the possible option later on.
Then relax and keep dating and there is nothing wrong with dating a few people at a time and once you start getting "more serious" then narrow it down to one.
Do you want a father-mother-child scenario? Bcuz you could always go with artificial insemination to get biological children. I'm prob going to do it in 4-6 years cuz I don't see anyone dating me, nevermind marrying me, and I don't want to let my time run out to be a mumsy.
ignore what people here have said
You DO have control over these things, and "being stuck" with a guy "you don't love" isn't so big a fear,
becuse ROMANTIC LOVE is a farce. Love and a relationship is something you WORK at. You will ALWAYS fall out of love with soeone, it's biology, those first two years are just infatuation
I think I rather just date a woman who already has a kid or none. not someone single looking to get pregnant
At my age I'm leaning in that direction to. In a few years I will proably be dating women that have kid(s) that are moving out of the house so there is another option.
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