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Than to be honest, you don't need to come off so desperate.
If you are not to the point where AI is your only option, you don't need to be dating multiple men with the only intent of using him to get what you want-a child.
Time to reevaluate. You need to chill out and let things take their course, or step up and figure out how to get what you want without bringing a man/someone elses feelings into the mix.
I don't feel desperate. I'm just looking for answers right now. I'm trying to avoid AI, because I'm not sure how I feel about it or if I could go through with it. But the only way I'm going to avoid it and still have my own biological children is if I meet someone sooner rather than later. If I meet someone later, it may be too late by that point. I feel like if I think ahead, I might be ok, but if I just "go with the flow" I might miss my window.
It's just where my biology has put me. I'm trying to navigate it as best as I can and to be careful. But I don't feel desperate. If that makes any sense.
I don't feel desperate. I'm just looking for answers right now. I'm trying to avoid AI, because I'm not sure how I feel about it or if I could go through with it. But the only way I'm going to avoid it and still have my own biological children is if I meet someone sooner rather than later. If I meet someone later, it may be too late by that point. I feel like if I think ahead, I might be ok, but if I just "go with the flow" I might miss my window.
It's just where my biology has put me. I'm trying to navigate it as best as I can and to be careful. But I don't feel desperate. If that makes any sense.
You have a motive to dating. IMO that will always cause problems. Men can smell motive/desperation a mile away. Think the guys your dating don't realize what you'r main agenda is??...think again.
Stop thinking about the thread and how people post here and consider WHY you look at life in terms of absolutes. A checklist with deadlines.
A baby is not just something you do, like get a masters degree and buy a home. Your instincts are correct about AI. There is a reason it takes two to make a baby, and just because science makes it possible that one person CAN do it doesn't mean that person should.
Get off the Internet. Focus on being the best YOU. If you find a partner, celebrate. If you have a baby, focus.
If not, learn to adjust and move on.
I don't know how else to say that I'm here collecting data and that once I have all the data, I will analyze it, decide what my feelings are and then moved forward based on those feelings. I'm not looking at life with any absolutes, if I had absolutes, I wouldn't be asking these questions because I'd already have all the answers I'm looking for.
People have to decide what's right for them in the long run. Right now I'm unsure and am trying to decide what's best for me.
You have a motive to dating. IMO that will always cause problems. Men can smell motive/desperation a mile away. Think the guys your dating don't realize what you'r main agenda is??...think again.
My only motive RIGHT NOW is to find a good match, I'm not even thinking about marriage. First things first. I'm not going to marry someone just to have kids. That may change as I age, but it's not where I am right now.
But IF I find the right person and IF we get married, I feel like it's only fair to myself and my partner to know where I stand on certain issues, rather than go in unfocused, unsure and then possibly change my mind down the road. Sure, my mind could change based on new information once it's made up ANYWAY, but I at least want to be clear going in.
I don't feel desperate. I'm just looking for answers right now. I'm trying to avoid AI, because I'm not sure how I feel about it or if I could go through with it. But the only way I'm going to avoid it and still have my own biological children is if I meet someone sooner rather than later. If I meet someone later, it may be too late by that point. I feel like if I think ahead, I might be ok, but if I just "go with the flow" I might miss my window.
It's just where my biology has put me. I'm trying to navigate it as best as I can and to be careful. But I don't feel desperate. If that makes any sense.
You are puttjng your wants above your needs.
You don't need a child. You want a child.
But you are acting like you need a child. No one NEEDS children.
And yet, you have the expectation that having a child is a requirement for your life and your happiness.
You are wrongly associating a child and how it will affect your life.
What will you do once you have a child? Will your main focus in life be dedicated to the child?
What about the father? Will he just be on the sidelines while you have happiness with a child in your life?
For some reason you have more value on having a child than you do with having a husband or bf.
I don't know how else to say that I'm here collecting data and that once I have all the data, I will analyze it, decide what my feelings are and then moved forward based on those feelings. I'm not looking at life with any absolutes, if I had absolutes, I wouldn't be asking these questions because I'd already have all the answers I'm looking for.
People have to decide what's right for them in the long run. Right now I'm unsure and am trying to decide what's best for me.
The fact that you think you can "gather data and analyze it" like a spreadsheet is what I'm talking about.
Honestly I think this "data" line is a smokescreen because your posts reveal fear and desperation. Serious fear.
No, you CANNOT see it or feel it but we are telling you it's there.
My only motive RIGHT NOW is to find a good match, I'm not even thinking about marriage. First things first. I'm not going to marry someone just to have kids. That may change as I age, but it's not where I am right now.
But IF I find the right person and IF we get married, I feel like it's only fair to myself and my partner to know where I stand on certain issues, rather than go in unfocused, unsure and then possibly change my mind down the road. Sure, my mind could change based on new information once it's made up ANYWAY, but I at least want to be clear going in.
Would you be willing to date someone who is divorced or has kids from a previous marriage?
You are puttjng your wants above your needs.
You don't need a child. You want a child.
But you are acting like you need a child. No one NEEDS children.
And yet, you have the expectation that having a child is a requirement for your life and your happiness.
You are wrongly associating a child and how it will affect your life.
What will you do once you have a child? Will your main focus in life be dedicated to the child?
What about the father? Will he just be on the sidelines while you have happiness with a child in your life?
For some reason you have more value on having a child than you do with having a husband or bf.
I'm really lost. If I thought I NEEDED a child, I could have been pregnant and had one, either with boyfriends or on my own, by now. Totally don't think I NEED a child. I would REALLY LIKE one, under what (I feel are) the right circumstances, but def not by any means necessary.
Would you be willing to date someone who is divorced or has kids from a previous marriage?
Simple answer: yes.
Longer answer: we would have to discuss how that's all going to work, esp as I've yet to date someone with kids. Not that I'm opposed to it, it's just that the opportunity has never presented itself.
The fact that you think you can "gather data and analyze it" like a spreadsheet is what I'm talking about.
Honestly I think this "data" line is a smokescreen because your posts reveal fear and desperation. Serious fear.
No, you CANNOT see it or feel it but we are telling you it's there.
It does come across.
ok, that's fine We can agree to disagree. Thanks for your input.
I think if I continue online dating and haven't found someone in 2 years, THEN, I might start to feel desperate. But I feel it's way too early for that.
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We can agree to disagree. Thanks for your input.
