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I kind of have to agree with ohio, as several of the busted marriages I know really deeply affected other people (friends, children, family members). My parents are still devastated over my brother's split...and I have to admit that I am still pretty upset about it, too. It's like we all lost family.
My wife and her siblings (all in their 30s) are still very hurt over their parents' divorce 20 years ago...it's amazing what kind of things are hard to get over.
Doesn't give you the right to hold sway over other peoples marriages. Far from it.
I kind of have to agree with ohio, as several of the busted marriages I know really deeply affected other people (friends, children, family members). My parents are still devastated over my brother's split...and I have to admit that I am still pretty upset about it, too. It's like we all lost family.
My wife and her siblings (all in their 30s) are still very hurt over their parents' divorce 20 years ago...it's amazing what kind of things are hard to get over.
But...would your parents have been happier if your brother stayed legally married to his wife but had an emotionally/sexually unsatisfying relationship? That seems rather selfish of them.
Doesn't give you the right to hold sway over other peoples marriages. Far from it.
Wtf?
Where or when did I say I have the right to "hold sway" over anything?
Now who's being dramatic?
We're just having a discussion here. Geezus. Chill.
But...would your parents have been happier if your brother stayed legally married to his wife but had an emotionally/sexually unsatisfying relationship? That seems rather selfish of them.
No.
I think they'd be happier if he hadn't put them through TWO weddings and all the rigamarole.
You know, in the end, he even said that by the second wedding, he had doubts as to whether this relationship was going to work...but he was too cowardly to halt the proceedings.
What fascinates me is how many people have told me they knew as they were walking down the aisle that something was wrong or (as one coworker said), "I knew that I could always just get a divorce."
I agree we can't know what goes on behind closed doors. My sister is divorced. She and her husband both had a role in the divorce....she changed considerably, he had his own issues. For the most part my sister really hasn't disclosed to others what her husband's role in the divorce was because they are very personal...most would never guess. So people probably make a lot of assumptions.
I agree we can't know what goes on behind closed doors. My sister is divorced. She and her husband both had a role in the divorce....she changed considerably, he had his own issues. For the most part my sister really hasn't disclosed to others what her husband's role in the divorce was because they are very personal...most would never guess. So people probably make a lot of assumptions.
Agreed.
All human relationships are complicated and many times difficult.
I think most of us try to do our best.
"emotional needs" is another made up vague concept. We should live in the world of solid concepts not made up crap.
You responded to a comment where the guy had basically withdrawn from participating in family or married life. Why would you regard the emotional needs as vague or crap?
Of course not...and opinions are like aholes, etc.
I never weighed in on any of my friends' or relatives' marriages...and they got married and what I thought would happen (against my hopes) happened. It was like watching a train wreck.
I'm not in your marriage. And life happens. The unexpected happens. And I can't say that there has never been a day or a moment or whatever that I don't want to pack up my dog and disappear. But I do know that those times are when I have to remember the vows and the commitment the most.
So it it wasn't for lack of effort or choosing the wrong mate, why would you say your marriage failed?
(Please understand I am not trying to pick on you at all - to many people, my relationship with my ex (7 years) counted like a marriage because of how long we were together...I purposely refused to marry because something just didn't sit right with me even after all that time...anyway, so I know what it is like for people to be all flummoxed and flabbergasted over a breakup they can't understand.)
I know you aren't picking on me. I'll DM you. For the purposes of this thread, I have zero interest in the commentary of what I consider to be the peanut gallery.
Wtf?
Where or when did I say I have the right to "hold sway" over anything?
Now who's being dramatic?
We're just having a discussion here. Geezus. Chill.
You were responding to a post that people other than the married couple should have say over when marriage ends.
And yet again, I'll go one further: Given my druthers and were I benevolent queen for a day, I'd remove the state from marriage entirely. I think marriage should be a church thing only. I don't want the state all up in my heart any more than I want it up in my uterus or my bedroom. Please, the state can't even balance its own checkbook. Why on earth would I want it to be arbiter of my personal life?
However, I understand reality, and reality is that most people don't agree with me on nixing state-sanctioned marriage entirely. That is why I take the stand on gay marriage that I do: I believe everyone should have the right to make a legal quagmire of their love if they so wish it.
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Far from it.
I'll DM you. For the purposes of this thread, I have zero interest in the commentary of what I consider to be the peanut gallery. 
