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Except that most of the people who talk about "their lack of success with women", have never had an LTR or in some cases, even a date. The groaners and moaners usually have,on the other hand. And of this group, there are maybe somewhat less than 50% that seem to be open to looking into the part they played in the breakup of the relationship. The rest are angry and blame the woman 100%.
Overwhelmingly, the young men who post on CD about their lack of success with women, seem to put far more effort into complaining about the women than they do in wooing them.
Poster after poster wants a girlfriend back and pines after her, but they rarely (if ever) seem to give her much thought or attention when she's in front of them...only when she's gone.
Guys, if you put as much emotion into the relationship as you do into its aftermath, you probably wouldn't be split up in the first place.
Also, if you put as much effort into meeting someone as you do into complaining about those you want to meet and don't, you would probably be way more popular and busy on a Saturday night.
In all honesty, how could you know the amount of effort they've put forth into seeking a meaningful relationship by random complaint posts?
Overwhelmingly, the young men who post on CD about their lack of success with women, seem to put far more effort into complaining about the women than they do in wooing them.
Poster after poster wants a girlfriend back and pines after her, but they rarely (if ever) seem to give her much thought or attention when she's in front of them...only when she's gone.
Guys, if you put as much emotion into the relationship as you do into its aftermath, you probably wouldn't be split up in the first place.
Also, if you put as much effort into meeting someone as you do into complaining about those you want to meet and don't, you would probably be way more popular and busy on a Saturday night.
You are dead-on about how the type of posts that are on this forum tend to be in the negative, especially with guys complaining about women (I swear, if I see one more short guy thread...) Unfortunately, I don't think a thread like this is going to do much to help somebody due to a couple reasons:
People LOVE to use the Internet to rant, be it through discussion forums, business review sites or analytical blogs. As an example, think about the ratio of positive restaurant visits to negative ones. Chances are, you probably have a lot more average to good restaurant experiences than poor ones. If you are on a site like Yelp, what would you be more likely to do: review a restaurant where you had an average to good experience, or "review" one where you had a very poor experience? Most Internet reviews either skew toward being extremely positive or extremely negative, with people leaning towards the latter because the review also gives them a chance to rant. I think it's human nature to be more apt to criticize than praise businesses, movies, music and experiences.
Confession time: I am a big movie buff, and I like reading reviews on films past and present. However, I frequent a website where there are a bunch of video producers who intentionally review terrible movies in a comedic light. I LOVE watching those reviews, because I just find it funny how they react to cringeworthy special effects, plot and dialogue. Again, I think it's simply human nature.
On that note, I think when a lot of guys come here venting about not being able to get dates, or women being too picky or mean or whatever, I don't think they are actively looking for advice, but rather simply want to vent. I find venting to be healthy, but it shouldn't be disguised as looking for advice, and it CERTAINLY shouldn't be something that is done repeatedly. We, after all are humans and not robots. But I believe in finding a little bit more constructive ways to vent. Had a bad day? Go have a tough workout.
Unfortunately, while a thread like this is spot on on many of the posts this board gets, I don't think it's going to resonate with the people who write those self-pitying posts. I find a bit of sympathy in those because I used to be like that, and it's a very dark road that's tough to break out of. But at the end of it, it's up to YOU to break out of that darkness. It's hard, very hard, but it's possible.
Overwhelmingly, the young men who post on CD about their lack of success with women, seem to put far more effort into complaining about the women than they do in wooing them.
Poster after poster wants a girlfriend back and pines after her, but they rarely (if ever) seem to give her much thought or attention when she's in front of them...only when she's gone.
And you know this how? Have you actually witnessed what goes on behind closed doors? You are greatly exaggerating with the "poster after poster." I just took a look at the first 50 topics on this board and I found one started by a male and two that were started by women in regards to that. The subject does come up sometimes and if anyone knows my posts the one thing I cannot stand is begging.
Breakups happen. Men (and women) need to let it go and move on. Life is too short to dwell and be bitter. I do not know why men lower themselves to beg. Obviously it's a lack of self-esteem on their part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
Guys, if you put as much emotion into the relationship as you do into its aftermath, you probably wouldn't be split up in the first place.
Nonsense. In many cases it is impossible to please your partner no matter what you do. I know this from first hand experience. Some people change and often it's for the worst. Don't assume it's always due to a lack of effort from the man as it is not always their fault.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
Also, if you put as much effort into meeting someone as you do into complaining about those you want to meet and don't, you would probably be way more popular and busy on a Saturday night.
More nonsense. Some people lack the skill or are too shy to be popular with women.
Not a whole lot of complaining from men on who they want to meet posted on this board either.
You are dead-on about how the type of posts that are on this forum tend to be in the negative, especially with guys complaining about women (I swear, if I see one more short guy thread...) Unfortunately, I don't think a thread like this is going to do much to help somebody due to a couple reasons:
People LOVE to use the Internet to rant, be it through discussion forums, business review sites or analytical blogs. As an example, think about the ratio of positive restaurant visits to negative ones. Chances are, you probably have a lot more average to good restaurant experiences than poor ones. If you are on a site like Yelp, what would you be more likely to do: review a restaurant where you had an average to good experience, or "review" one where you had a very poor experience? Most Internet reviews either skew toward being extremely positive or extremely negative, with people leaning towards the latter because the review also gives them a chance to rant. I think it's human nature to be more apt to criticize than praise businesses, movies, music and experiences.
Confession time: I am a big movie buff, and I like reading reviews on films past and present. However, I frequent a website where there are a bunch of video producers who intentionally review terrible movies in a comedic light. I LOVE watching those reviews, because I just find it funny how they react to cringeworthy special effects, plot and dialogue. Again, I think it's simply human nature.
On that note, I think when a lot of guys come here venting about not being able to get dates, or women being too picky or mean or whatever, I don't think they are actively looking for advice, but rather simply want to vent. I find venting to be healthy, but it shouldn't be disguised as looking for advice, and it CERTAINLY shouldn't be something that is done repeatedly. We, after all are humans and not robots. But I believe in finding a little bit more constructive ways to vent. Had a bad day? Go have a tough workout.
Unfortunately, while a thread like this is spot on on many of the posts this board gets, I don't think it's going to resonate with the people who write those self-pitying posts. I find a bit of sympathy in those because I used to be like that, and it's a very dark road that's tough to break out of. But at the end of it, it's up to YOU to break out of that darkness. It's hard, very hard, but it's possible.
Guys lacking strong father figures tend to be losers with the ladies... It's a sad phenomena going on in America today. Sons being raised by mothers. Sons need fathers, daughters need both parents.
Then the men need to man up and stick around and act like MEN.
Then the men need to man up and stick around and act like MEN.
And women need to take control of their body and always insist on/use birth control properly, and not date losers if they cant accept the consequences.
It still doesn't make the OP untrue. If you want to discuss women who do this, go ahead.
In this thread: Irony. Women complaining about men complaining. If WestPhilly makes a thread complaining about women, women will go on that thread and blast him for complaining. The cycle never ends. Newsflash: Both genders complain. Besides, there would be no reason to have a relationships forum if people didn't complain about something.
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