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I think i'll just move to China, as that will satisfy 90% of my standards right there. Only thing hard beyond that is choosing which lovely asian lady I want, even the military is full of lovely lasse's!
Pretty enough but women with this kind of attitude is a major turnoff for me, not to mention that lifestyle just sickens me. But please, have fun, i'll pass.
What woman would want to be with a man who 'kept lowering his standards further and further' until he got to her?
We're following the OP's stipulation that by "settling" we mean strictly the reduction of demands of physical beauty, and not those of character, intelligence, values or interests.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
I'll choose the man who, instead, can take care of his emotional and social needs by making close friends, his need for housekeeping by doing it himself, his need for nonsexual sensuality by taking up dance or yoga, his need for entertainment by having friends over -- and now looks for a lover and a companion to do all this fun stuff with, but is not desperate because most of his needs are already met.
While it's certainly reasonable to seek a partner whose life is already established and for whom the relationship is an enrichment rather than a palliative, we ought to be careful of extremes. Let's take a person who already has everything, who derives his/her pleasures and fascinations and contacts from a network of friends. Well, what need does this person have for a romantic relationship? Sex? Yes, but that's not a relationship.
At age 20 perhaps embarking on a relationship from scratch, excites passions that were not heretofore there. It creates - and meets! - new needs. But at 40 or 60, those needs are already there. What the new relationship does is to fulfill those unmet needs. If a woman has no such needs, what benefits do I provide for her, by entering into a relationship? If her "emotional and social needs" are already met, what then am I, besides a perfunctory appendage? I have no substantive role. No, the sort of woman whom I want to meet is one who most definitely DOES have a substantial and abiding emptiness in her life, which our putative new relationship aims to fill.
And this really is where I struggle so much.... Women who do have their proverbial stuff together, who are successful professionals and so forth, generally don't have the aforementioned burning need. Women who do have such need, are looking for a father for their children or a bailout for their debts.
What woman would want to be with a man who 'kept lowering his standards further and further' until he got to her?
I'll choose the man who, instead, can take care of his emotional and social needs by making close friends, his need for housekeeping by doing it himself, his need for nonsexual sensuality by taking up dance or yoga, his need for entertainment by having friends over -- and now looks for a lover and a companion to do all this fun stuff with, but is not desperate because most of his needs are already met.
Accept for that pesky thing about prostitution being illegal, for a guy with a high sex drive, if that need is not met it leads to very sharp settling as there are no other outlets other than internet porn which is pretty lame. Sex is like air, its not a big deal until your not getting it.
That's certainly plausible. But my impression, at least from recent discussions on this Forum, is that the older men are more eager to find a partner, while the older women are more patient. This gives women the advantage. Women would lower their standards to a point, below which they'd rather remain single, than to bind themselves to a partner so far beneath them. Men would keep lowering their standards further and further, in the hope of finally attracting some one. But to use economic terms, the dating market is inelastic. By lowering their standards substantially, the older men don't improve their odds substantially.
If there's a minus rep, I'd award it for this post. On what earth do you live please, it's quite clear that older guys still compete for younger women and it's very clear that older women don't have less suitors to ask them for sex - it's just that many women on this forum phrased it like this - "I don't want that, I've been there for years and I'll rather be alone instead of having random sex".
Unlike what you said, there's a proof that guy's standards for prostitution are rock-bottom-low. Check out the average prostitutes that get arrested and you'll get the point. I've lived in a "hood" at the time of my first year in America and I had the chance to walk near many women who were obviously on drugs and doing prostitution. None of them was anything like Ivanovic that other forum member posted, not even close.
Given that guys are ready to pay a trashy person to have sex, even if only 20$... I think it's rather about HAVING SEX than running after a lifetime mate for many. This is enforced by society's standards as well. By lowering their standards substantially, by adapting to situation and pretending to be charming, chivalrous, or a big ruffian, many guys (including the old guys) are really hitting rock-bottom-low just to stick their penis in some vagina. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes they can't put with the hassle and they seek for that drugged prostitute who could be having numerous diseases as well.
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