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I'm also wishing for travelin' mercies for you, Robyn. 'Car time' can be so great; every day now you are making good and healing memories because you're able to live in peace and without the fear and conflict that was formerly present. (I remember similar times with my beloved daughter after her father left...had barely 'two nickels to rub together' as they say in the Midwest, but we'd take little car trips here and there whenever possible...)
Back on topic *ahem*, and thinking of your dear family up North, you know how to listen well and you are so compassionate and loving; this will be a comfort for all your sibs & rels in their sorrow. Wishing you Good Strength for this part of the journey. I'm lighting candles for you all.
HIF is 100% correct. Like you said, YOU are not HIS and therefore, any discussion beyond the kids well being and making pickup/dropoff arrangements is unnecessary.
And also, I recommend a permanent schedule-
4PM Friday outside your house
3PM Sunday at the bank
That way it does not need to be discussed every week.
And the check can be given to the kids when he picks them up to run into the house to you or given on Sunday to hand to you.
I wish TJ could make electronic payments for the child support. This way he can send the money directly into Robyn's bank account. No waiting for checks to clear. No handing checks to the kids to give to mommy.
I wish TJ could make electronic payments for the child support. This way he can send the money directly into Robyn's bank account. No waiting for checks to clear. No handing checks to the kids to give to mommy.
In some states this can be court mandated & enforced, whether the payor likes it or not. Anyone know about VA?
Hey there everyone! I only have a few minutes because my 17 year old is back on line and itching to download songs on his IPOD! The kids are sooo funny - they act like we lived in a cave w/o the computer!!
I am so sorry that I missed the mediation day - but you guys said it all.
Robyn is awesome. I knew she would/ could do it - but it is so nice to see that she did. It took FOREVER to read through the thread and catch up and I sat here laughing and crying at the computer - the kids think I have completely gone round the bend!
I missed you all so much!
Robyn - those kids of yours are fantastic. I have only one bit of advice and I am giving it to you from experience. You left him - you took the kids out of that abusive life. You are already seeing the growth and the spreading of the wings - in the kids and in yourself. Don't give in on the little things because you don't want to deal with his anger and it seems easier. He is like one of those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park - he's hitting the fence trying to find the weak spot. I don't think he's Satan - he's just a very angry, selfish person who can't see past himself. Manipulation is what he knows and he knows how to get to you. Please don't show the kids that you give into that - because they will too. The longer you wait to put your foot down the harder it gets.
You are doing great and I am not criticizing - just want you to think about it when you are tempted to give in. To you it may just be about abc - but for him it's about it all - everytime.
I am so sorry to hear about your neice and so sorry that your homecoming had to be so sad - but I am happy that you have the ability now to go and happy that you can share your family with your babies. Peace be with you and yours.
Hey there everyone! I only have a few minutes because my 17 year old is back on line and itching to download songs on his IPOD! The kids are sooo funny - they act like we lived in a cave w/o the computer!!
I am so sorry that I missed the mediation day - but you guys said it all.
Robyn is awesome. I knew she would/ could do it - but it is so nice to see that she did. It took FOREVER to read through the thread and catch up and I sat here laughing and crying at the computer - the kids think I have completely gone round the bend!
I missed you all so much!
Robyn - those kids of yours are fantastic. I have only one bit of advice and I am giving it to you from experience. You left him - you took the kids out of that abusive life. You are already seeing the growth and the spreading of the wings - in the kids and in yourself. Don't give in on the little things because you don't want to deal with his anger and it seems easier. He is like one of those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park - he's hitting the fence trying to find the weak spot. I don't think he's Satan - he's just a very angry, selfish person who can't see past himself. Manipulation is what he knows and he knows how to get to you. Please don't show the kids that you give into that - because they will too. The longer you wait to put your foot down the harder it gets.
You are doing great and I am not criticizing - just want you to think about it when you are tempted to give in.To you it may just be about abc - but for him it's about it all - everytime.
I am so sorry to hear about your neice and so sorry that your homecoming had to be so sad - but I am happy that you have the ability now to go and happy that you can share your family with your babies. Peace be with you and yours.
What a great way to express it, ILTB, and the parts I put into bold print are, IMHO, very key points - and what a clear way to say it.
Cheers to all, and Robyn I hope that you are enjoying the time with your family this weekend, even though the circumstances are not the best. It's good that you can be with them during this time. They need you.[/quote]
Well I'm disappointed Syn, thought for sure with all those great pics you come up with, you'd have a little "Grandma got run over by the reindeer" up your sleeve
Last edited by Synopsis; 12-16-2007 at 07:45 AM..
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I'm lighting candles for you all.
Wow...
