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I've been with my girlfriend for 18 months an and am in a very stable relationship. She's a little close-minded though when it comes to certain things. I don't think she's well aware of what things are going on in the world right now, how the economy works, who are the major influential people in the world, what causes our taxes to go up, etc. She's even made fun of me a few times for spending my spare time looking up random articles on anything to broaden my knowledge - european history, insects, animals, astronomy, religious stuff, you name it....and suggesting that she should try it some time because it's fun to expand your mind on stuff. Most of this stuff I won't use in the real world, but I mainly keep it to myself and only bring it up if the topic of conversation with a person warrants it. However I think this is common in relationships - there will always be that one partner that doesn't really care about that kind of stuff and it's hard to get a match on that type of level. I get that.
But what really turns me off at the end of the day is that she knows waaaaay too much about celebrities, who they're married or divorced to, what movies they're in, what their political beliefs are, whether they're gay or straight, etc. I feel like she's the type of person to parrot what her celebrity idols say. If we're around other people, I feel pretty embarassed if she talks about the personal lives of random celebrities. I also feel it undermines my intelligence a bit.
I don't know how to tell her this bothers me because to a normal person, I don't think it would. Normally I try to just change the topic of conversation, but I'm not sure.
Sort of a weird topic I know - reminds me of a typical Seinfeld episode.
But what really turns me off at the end of the day is that she knows waaaaay too much about celebrities, who they're married or divorced to, what movies they're in, what their political beliefs are, whether they're gay or straight, etc. I feel like she's the type of person to parrot what her celebrity idols say. If we're around other people, I feel pretty embarassed if she talks about the personal lives of random celebrities. I also feel it undermines my intelligence a bit.
I don't know how to tell her this bothers me because to a normal person, I don't think it would. Normally I try to just change the topic of conversation, but I'm not sure.
Sort of a weird topic I know - reminds me of a typical Seinfeld episode.
That would turn me off too! Now, I'm not intellectually superior but TV shows and celebrity lifestyles are mind-numbingly boring and it's not something I really care about. Actually, I don't think I could be with someone who holds those interests as their main "hobbies".
I've been with my girlfriend for 18 months an and am in a very stable relationship. She's a little close-minded though when it comes to certain things. I don't think she's well aware of what things are going on in the world right now, how the economy works, who are the major influential people in the world, what causes our taxes to go up, etc. She's even made fun of me a few times for spending my spare time looking up random articles on anything to broaden my knowledge - european history, insects, animals, astronomy, religious stuff, you name it....and suggesting that she should try it some time because it's fun to expand your mind on stuff. Most of this stuff I won't use in the real world, but I mainly keep it to myself and only bring it up if the topic of conversation with a person warrants it. However I think this is common in relationships - there will always be that one partner that doesn't really care about that kind of stuff and it's hard to get a match on that type of level. I get that.
But what really turns me off at the end of the day is that she knows waaaaay too much about celebrities, who they're married or divorced to, what movies they're in, what their political beliefs are, whether they're gay or straight, etc. I feel like she's the type of person to parrot what her celebrity idols say. If we're around other people, I feel pretty embarassed if she talks about the personal lives of random celebrities. I also feel it undermines my intelligence a bit.
I don't know how to tell her this bothers me because to a normal person, I don't think it would. Normally I try to just change the topic of conversation, but I'm not sure.
Sort of a weird topic I know - reminds me of a typical Seinfeld episode.
I can understand how it would bother you. Do you think she'll grow out of it? Is she in a phase? Are the rest of her characteristics acceptable or better to you? Nobody is perfect/absolutely compatible. We all have idiosyncrasies. There are probably PhDs who enjoy watching Beavis and Butthead.
There's a reason why the supermarket checkout stand (as opposed to the auto parts store or barber shop) is full of those gossipy magazines. We guys are accused of knowing too much about Kobe's PPG or the Dodgers place in the standings.
There are plenty of guys who know mind-numbing minutia about their favorite team or who know everything there is to know about Star Wars, but they don't get the same kind of flak as a woman who digs celebrity gossip or reality TV. They're not all that different.
I think you may be in a bit of denial, because it's already bothering you that you're not compatible when it comes to expanding your knowledge of the world around you, and you're embarrassed by her conversations and you feel it makes you look bad. This is not a successful and "stable" relationship.
People are who are mismatched intellectually, will have a more difficult time in their relationship, especially when one of the couple cares that they're not matched up.
That would turn me off too! Now, I'm not intellectually superior but TV shows and celebrity lifestyles are mind-numbingly boring and it's not something I really care about. Actually, I don't think I could be with someone who holds those interests as their main "hobbies".
Call me a b**ch, but I think it's people like her that exemplify what's wrong with the USA - too many people who don't care at all about history or how government works, but spend every waking hour following celebrity gossip.
There are plenty of guys who know mind-numbing minutia about their favorite team or who know everything there is to know about Star Wars, but they don't get the same kind of flak.
I think the OP's argument is that's ALL she knows. Lots of guys like you describe ALSO can have a conversation about something else more relevant. Sounds like the OP's gf cannot.
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