I mean really...does sex early on really have any bearings.. (boyfriend, woman)
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If an ONS turns into a relationship, then it ceases to be an ONS, logically.
The intent was a ONS. I expected or wanted nothing more. He had other ideas. I thought he was attractive (obviously, or nothing would have happened in the first place), and I thought he was cool, so I gave him the chance.
He did say why he liked me. "You have no rules. You go with what moves you and do what you want, long as no one gets hurt. That's awesome."
In reality, quality men want a quality woman. And a quality woman knows herself and takes care of herself.
How is a woman having sex with people she hasn't known for very long considered "Taking care of herself" ?
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I'd say that only the desperate losers care about how quickly a woman has had sex with other men in the past.
You don't seem to know much about men.
All you have to do is look at the billions of humans who live in geographically diffusive cultures where female chastity is prized, to see what male sexual psychology looks like. The fact that this phenomenon persists even in western cultures should tell you something about the depth of its roots.
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
Do you ask for a sex log from every woman you date - including dates, times, and locations that she has had sex in the past? Do you offer up yours in return?
"No" to both of your irrelevant questions. Maybe this is how a person on the autism spectrum would go about it, though.
I need to establish a sexual/physical connection early on in a relationship before I can proceed. I'd hate to wait long only to find out shes not sexually compatible with me, vise versa; now wouldn't we just be wasting time.
I need to establish a sexual/physical connection early on in a relationship before I can proceed. I'd hate to wait long only to find out shes not sexually compatible with me, vise versa; now wouldn't we just be wasting time.
Each individual has their own idea of the timing for sex and what is appropriate for them and their partner.
It could have an impact but then again it may not have an impact.
I know a few couples who found each other in a bar, went home together, woke up the next morning and did not remember each other's names, they have been married to each other almost 20 years now, so for them it was not an issue at all.
How is having sex with people you haven't known for very long considered "Taking care of herself" ?
If that's the case, you don't seem to know much about men.
It seems you are taking all of this very personally.
If a person is just looking for casual sex and is not emotionally invested in someone - then sleeping with them and having no additional contact with them isn't going to be very traumatic. That's what they were looking for. However, if someone meets someone that they can see a future with and they sleep with them right away, and therefore become more emotionally invested in them - and they never contact them again, it's going to hurt. Luckily, I've never been in that situation but I've seen it played out with my friends time and time again.
I don't think sleeping with someone right away is always the wrong decision - I just think people need to be realistic about their own expectations and what they can handle. Obviously - you can't handle a woman that doesn't sleep with you on the first date that has slept with other men on the first date. I honestly don't know why any man would have a problem with that unless you are insecure and feel that you don't measure up to other men. No two relationships are the same. Just because a woman doesn't hop in the sack with you as quickly as she did with someone else doesn't mean you aren't as attractive as the other man was.
Personally, I've never had any regrets in my sexual life and I've never had any issues with this. But I've always done what I'm comfortable with.
"No" to both of your irrelevant questions. Maybe this is how a person on the autism spectrum would go about it, though.
Then how would you ever know exactly how long a woman waited to have sex with previous partners? Is it so important to you that you would need to know this information? And if you really had feelings for someone - would you really hold her past against her? I just don't get it.
Agreed. Hiding it, not being fully forthright and open with your partner, is probably how most women would deal with such inconsistency of behavior.
There's nothing to hide. It's just not your business. That you think it is speaks to emotional immaturity, patriarchy, nosiness, and lack of boundaries. You seem to forget that there are other people involved. I do not betray my past boyfriends by discussing my sexual relationships with them with current ones. My relationships with them were between them and me, and no one else. By the same token, my current SO knows that I will not discuss the intimate details of my relationship with him with anyone else should we ever part ways. That is the respectful thing to do between adults.
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
Do you ask for a sex log from every woman you date - including dates, times, and locations that she has had sex in the past? Do you offer up yours in return?
That's assuming there's something to offer up.
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Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
So this is another one of those don't ask don't tell situations?
Yes. Between adults, it works very well.
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Originally Posted by laorbust61
When dating, some guys will harp on how important a woman's character and virtue are to them, and yet they push for intimacy prematurely in the dating relationship....hypocrite much?
The immature douchecanoes like to use it as a litmus. They forget that if sleeping with them makes a woman dirty, that makes them dirt.
What if it is irresponsible sex? That surely must have some bearings.
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