Girl is waiting for me because I am waiting for marriage - is she gonna be able to do it!? (dating, woman)
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I just had "the talk" as I call it these days with the girl I am with, about how this might not be what she wanted to hear, but I am planning on waiting to have sex until I truly love someone.
With girls in the past, basically that's a deal-breaker, for obvious reasons. I have dated a couple of girls who were planning the same thing, but those relationships obviously didn't work out, for other reasons.
But this is a new experience for me. I'm starting to date a girl that has had plenty of sex before, but I explained to her my situation, telling her I completely understand if that's a deal breaker, that I've experienced this before, and that there would be no hard feelings whatever decision she has to make.
Surprisingly, she was really receptive of the idea. We talked about it a lot over the course of two different nights, and she insists that she wants to continue dating and at the very least, see how it goes. She said it's a matter of what's more important to her - the person she is dating or the sex. She said she is choosing the person (me).
Do you think she can actually pull this off? She seems really adamant about it. What are the odds that we can continue a relationship like this long enough to find out whether we love each other? What are the odds she begins cheating because she can't stand not having sex?
I just had "the talk" as I call it these days with the girl I am with, about how this might not be what she wanted to hear, but I am planning on waiting to have sex until I truly love someone.
With girls in the past, basically that's a deal-breaker, for obvious reasons. I have dated a couple of girls who were planning the same thing, but those relationships obviously didn't work out, for other reasons.
But this is a new experience for me. I'm starting to date a girl that has had plenty of sex before, but I explained to her my situation, telling her I completely understand if that's a deal breaker, that I've experienced this before, and that there would be no hard feelings whatever decision she has to make.
Surprisingly, she was really receptive of the idea. We talked about it a lot over the course of two different nights, and she insists that she wants to continue dating and at the very least, see how it goes. She said it's a matter of what's more important to her - the person she is dating or the sex. She said she is choosing the person (me).
Do you think she can actually pull this off? She seems really adamant about it. What are the odds that we can continue a relationship like this long enough to find out whether we love each other? What are the odds she begins cheating because she can't stand not having sex?
Any thoughts?
I don't know what to make of this post. On one hand, you're trying to sound all noble. On the other hand, when the girl decides she'll play ball and date by your rules, you have serious doubts about her virtue. Then you want us to hold forth on some girl we don't know.
Look, you sound young and insecure, hence your craving for certainty. Love is not an equation. There is no law of probabilities when it comes to affairs of the heart. And there's no calendar either. Things just happen or they don't. And if you try to put things on a schedule or play the odds, you're likely to get burned.
Just quit having these talks with her and just enjoy the ride. Let it see where it takes you.
I am more curious about you. Why, if you take this so seriously that you want to wait for the one that you truely love, why are you spending time with someone who has "practiced" marriage and divorce with other men. If you two end up "loving" each other, can you spend the rest of your life with someone who has given her heart and her body so easily to other men? If not, why are you wasting time for the two of you? If you can, then trust her at her word. Or are you really afraid that she will at some point try to tempt you and test your resolve? So what if she does? If you are really committed to this it shouldn't be too hard to walk away at the first sign of her seduction.
I just had "the talk" as I call it these days with the girl I am with, about how this might not be what she wanted to hear, but I am planning on waiting to have sex until I truly love someone.
With girls in the past, basically that's a deal-breaker, for obvious reasons. I have dated a couple of girls who were planning the same thing, but those relationships obviously didn't work out, for other reasons.
But this is a new experience for me. I'm starting to date a girl that has had plenty of sex before, but I explained to her my situation, telling her I completely understand if that's a deal breaker, that I've experienced this before, and that there would be no hard feelings whatever decision she has to make.
Surprisingly, she was really receptive of the idea. We talked about it a lot over the course of two different nights, and she insists that she wants to continue dating and at the very least, see how it goes. She said it's a matter of what's more important to her - the person she is dating or the sex. She said she is choosing the person (me).
Do you think she can actually pull this off? She seems really adamant about it. What are the odds that we can continue a relationship like this long enough to find out whether we love each other? What are the odds she begins cheating because she can't stand not having sex?
Any thoughts?
It is impossible for anyone even your gf to truly answer this.
No one knows what the future will hold, and whether or not your gf will be able to resist temptation.
See how it goes is all you can do. IMO, you are rolling the dice a little bit more than a couple that does have sex while in a LTR, because without sexual satisfaction from a relationship, many people get bored or stray or cheat.
Not that it won't work, but I would imagine anyone, man or woman, who doesn't initially share your same beliefs would have a hard time 'waiting'.
I know a couple that did date for a long time and actually waited till marriage. They may be the happiest couple that I know. But they were both virgins.
If I know of a couple that one person was a virgin, and the other wasn't until their wedding day he/she certainly didnt advertise that info
Exactly how long do you think it will take you to determine if you fall in love? If it's months, I see no problem with her being able to wait. If it's years, then I don't think you have your priorities set correctly.
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