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I would argue that in the example raised by iknowftbll, this may not be a question of physical attraction per se, but of correlation between how a person behaves, and how a person looks. A person blessed with great physical fitness could in some sense himself or herself be shallow, since the physical advantages came too easily. But one laboring under a physical detriment such as obesity would be emotionally more generous, having struggled and appreciated the struggle. What’s attractive isn’t the overweight body but the greater emotional generosity.
This may be true for some people. But in my own example I can honestly say it is not the case and for several reasons.
First, the issue of correlation is entirely washed out by behavioral patterns in the women I dated being largely indistinguishable one body type to the other. I had fit girlfriends who were great people, and fit girlfriends who were cruel. Same with overweight girlfriend. Some were "emotionally generous" as you put it, and others were not. Traits of selfishness, selflessness, vanity, humility...in my observation weight or body type was not a variable that affected these. Thus I disagree that I developed an attraction or at a minimum an expectation for a behavioral pattern in acertain type of woman.
My second reason is a little more embarrassing but I'll share it anyway. I have never been big into porn, and now that I'm married I avoid it because I know I'm too visually motivated for it not to turn into a problem for me. But when I was younger I didn't always have this standard of conduct for myself and sometimes visited adult websites. Now porn is as empty an experience as you can get. It's purely physical, with mp depth of emotion, no lasting or resonating sense of connection, etc... To someone not genuinely attracted to overweight girls, mainstream porn would appeal more. But I always browsed porn that featured overweight women. Why? Because I developed a preference for they way their bodies looked. So in my case, it definitely is attraction to the overweight body.
Look, when women only care about money, men don't hesitate for one second to call them "gold diggers." If all cares about is looks, if looks trump any and all other considerations, why should be be surprised a lot of people call him "shallow?"
I think the difference is men like a variety of looks on women. One woman can be rejected for being fat by Guy #1. But Guy #2 will adore her for being fat. Don't overlook the fact that there are many, many men who like fat chicks. They call them Big Beautiful Women (BBW) Lovers.
By contrast, there isn't the case where one women will reject a man for being broke. While the next woman will adore the same man for being broke.
I think the difference is men like a variety of looks on women. One woman can be rejected for being fat by Guy #1. But Guy #2 will adore her for being fat. Don't overlook the fact that there are many, many men who like fat chicks. They call them Big Beautiful Women (BBW) Lovers.
By contrast, there isn't the case where one women will reject a man for being broke. While the next woman will adore the same man for being broke.
I've never cared how much a man makes, so that's BS. In fact, I made more than 3x than my ex and he was the one who cared, not me. MEN care about money more than women do.
I've never cared how much a man makes, so that's BS. In fact, I made more than 3x than my ex and he was the one who cared, not me. MEN care about money more than women do.
Why is it on relationship forums people always try to use their anecdotal tales to trump the general rule?
I've never cared how much a man makes, so that's BS. In fact, I made more than 3x than my ex and he was the one who cared, not me. MEN care about money more than women do.
Hahaha...
Blanket statement of the year goes to.....
So you're telling me that no girls care if I make 150k or tell them I make 50k it will make zero difference to them?
So you're telling me that no girls care if I make 150k or tell them I make 50k it will make zero difference to them?
RIGHT
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2
ive never dated anyone who cared about my total earnings.....then again i never bothered with the "stat" driven dating scene that has become the majority of peoples dating worlds today.
ambition was more sought after than money. the ladies i dated realized money was never a true indicator of this.
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