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I was wondering how often do these relationships take place? I often hear about a man with a career or some higher education knowledge while the woman never went to college (this is my parents' case; my father studied for 2 years and then quitted but he knows some business administration concepts and is the landlord of another house consisting of 6 apartments while my mother is an SAHM and is keeps learning new things from us; if I asked her about the conflict with Syria she's clueless about that too) but how about the opposite?
I'm currently slightly more than half of my major (tourism, culinary arts & business administration) and will be finishing it by 2015. Afterward, I will resume my first former major, which was psychology and finish the 2 remaining years. My situation was very difficult for a while as I couldn't continue college and had to quit for personal reasons but I've been back since 2011. I have interest in still continuing further, traveling and improving in French.
However, my then bf J (now ex bf but we do plan on getting back together; it's a complicated issue that's keeping us apart; something out of our control but won't go into details) never went to college and is still afraid of driving but he is a supervisor at a supermarket. Apparently he is more street-smart (ex: can tell if someone is a fake friend but isn't an intellectual; only knows basic history) while I've always been more on the bookish side and willing to learn more. Also my family is more wealthy than J's while in my parents' case, my mother was poor while my father wasn't.
How often do relationships like these work out? Do they happen too or is it few? Where it's the woman that has a more wealthy family than the man and a higher education level while he is a blue-collar worker? He doesn't mind that I can outsmart him in books and intellectual topics and has even told me on many different occasions that he has never been in a relationship with a career-oriented woman.
I have 8 years of university and my husband has about 1 year of college (he is a police officer so I'm not sure if that counts as "blue collar").
These relationships can work out quite well but I think (and this is just an impression I get), it requires some humility on your part Having a few years of college doesn't make one an intellectual that can outsmart someone on topics, especially the soft majors.
For what it's worth, I can beat him when we watch Jeopardy, because I know the answers to obscure facts. That being said, when things go wrong at home, I can always trust him to fix it, whether it's dealing with tools or idiot customer service. He's probably more useful.
a woman from an affluent background with a lower class fella? never seen it as a serious relationship but have as an ons. imho, and generally, woman are very concerned about social status, "compatibility". i think it happens all the time with online dating sites, you pretty much can tell one's social-economic background by their pics and what they write. but there are exceptions to the rule.
i had a friend who was a prosecutor and she was cute, very personable, maybe just a little bit too much junk in the truck but some guys like that. anyway she had the most difficult time keeping relationships, and it think it was more male insecurity about a woman with a strong career than the guy --it's just social programming about men being providers, the "stronger person" in the relationship, and stuff like that. she ended finding some guy that was very dominant (in the macho sense) and she loved him. in fact, he pretty much told her to stop hanging out with me (and we were good friends too) if she wanted to stay together with him. when i asked her about it once, she says that at work she is hard as nails and tough, and when she comes home, she just likes someone else to be in control. i'm sure he screwed her brains out too, which probably helps. don't know what happened but i think they got engaged later.
oh one more example, met a middle class educate 20s girl (cute, avg body) who was married to a guy she met in guatamala i think. he was good looking, gentle/suave, guitar playing type.
I was wondering how often do these relationships take place? I often hear about a man with a career or some higher education knowledge while the woman never went to college (this is my parents' case; my father studied for 2 years and then quitted but he knows some business administration concepts and is the landlord of another house consisting of 6 apartments while my mother is an SAHM and is keeps learning new things from us; if I asked her about the conflict with Syria she's clueless about that too) but how about the opposite?
I'm currently slightly more than half of my major (tourism, culinary arts & business administration) and will be finishing it by 2015. Afterward, I will resume my first former major, which was psychology and finish the 2 remaining years. My situation was very difficult for a while as I couldn't continue college and had to quit for personal reasons but I've been back since 2011. I have interest in still continuing further, traveling and improving in French.
However, my then bf J (now ex bf but we do plan on getting back together; it's a complicated issue that's keeping us apart; something out of our control but won't go into details) never went to college and is still afraid of driving but he is a supervisor at a supermarket. Apparently he is more street-smart (ex: can tell if someone is a fake friend but isn't an intellectual; only knows basic history) while I've always been more on the bookish side and willing to learn more. Also my family is more wealthy than J's while in my parents' case, my mother was poor while my father wasn't.
How often do relationships like these work out? Do they happen too or is it few? Where it's the woman that has a more wealthy family than the man and a higher education level while he is a blue-collar worker? He doesn't mind that I can outsmart him in books and intellectual topics and has even told me on many different occasions that he has never been in a relationship with a career-oriented woman.
You sound pretty impressive, and so does your ex boyfriend J. Honestly speaking.
I always have mixed feeling about this. There are a lot of times in my life, I have felt like a big giant loser. My major in UCLA is art history which is pretty much useless in real world. I got my advanced art degree in an Art institute but my "career" has nothing to do with art right now.
I always dreamed of being a professional competitive swimmer or professional water polo player. But in order to "survive" or have decent income, I am part of my family business. It brings me a good income and allows me to have a good life here in southern California.
I always think there is a fantasy world and there is reality world. How many people can create art for a living? How many people can even put food on the table for their families being a professional yet not world class swimmer?
Almost all my exes made six figure income, they were pretty much all white collar professionals, but I think my most relaxing exciting real relationship is with a construction worker. Will that relationship last? perhaps not. It may or may not work out in the long run, but I am used to certain life style and it is kind of hard to change to be completely honest.
Maybe everybody deep down is just a scared little kid who is looking for stability. who knows? Maybe in time, you will have everything figured out..
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 09-21-2013 at 02:01 PM..
I think any sort of combination has possibilities. I have a masters degree and my husband has a two year tech degree; he is blue collar and I am a professional. We get along great! Neither of us come from affluent backgrounds; frankly you can say we both had humble beginnings, and that probably helps. It might be harder if we were raised very differently. It helps that we have similar personalities too; we are overall two happy, agreeable people who are flexible and respectful with one another.
Thats just it, it can work in any combination and at any level, but only if the people involved dont take social status too seriously or believe that someones profession or wealth, define them as a person.
I think any sort of combination has possibilities. I have a masters degree and my husband has a two year tech degree; he is blue collar and I am a professional. We get along great! Neither of us come from affluent backgrounds; frankly you can say we both had humble beginnings, and that probably helps. It might be harder if we were raised very differently. It helps that we have similar personalities too; we are overall two happy, agreeable people who are flexible and respectful with one another.
im sure it does. but as OP said, seems to work and is more socially acceptable than the other way around with men having the higher social status.
me? i'm highly educated from humble beginnings. i think i have descent social status at this stage in my life. but i would have no problem being married to a wife who has more income and wealth, so long as she didn't try to use it as some relationship leverage. then no thanks.
It's still somewhat rarer but I expect it will become more common as higher percentages of women graduate from college.
My mother's family sent their daughters to college for generations, granted there was an element of high tea and white gloves to it. My father quit just before graduating high school to join the army during the war. When they married my mother had to teach him how to drive as his family was too poor to have a car. When they married my grandfather sent him away to business school. My father and all his brothers were smart and accomplished, one even had an ivy league education, but my mother had grown up on an estate which was clearly not the norm. It worked out fine. It was wonderful to have a mother who read a book a day and there was never any contention between them in this regard as they were intellectual equals with a similar set of strong morals.
It would be wrong to think a blue collar worker didn't possess a high skill set of specialized knowledge. The difference would come into play if one thought themselves better (or less) than the other or if they apparently were, or if they possessed undesirable characteristics. There are quite a few college men now who turn to trades, keep up on their reading, and may even enjoy higher culture if that's what you are looking for. The proof of a relationship's capability should be assessed when dating as to long term viability same as with anyone else.
i really don't think education has much to do with it (unless you are talking ive league), and more to do with social-economic background (do they "fit" in family) and a each persons willingness to focus on what makes them happy versus personal beliefs about who they should be dating/married to. and some will say that they are both the same. i no longer agree. i would easily date a waitress who makes me happy over an equally educated who doesn't treat me as well. and i'm sure there are some crazies on here that will say i want to "control" my SO. nope, just don't want a relationship with a b*tch. and sadly, there are many career women who bring their work attitude home. obviously this is a generalization, but i'v heard enough male grief to believe my thoughts are fairly accurate.
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Having a few years of college doesn't make one an intellectual that can outsmart someone on topics, especially the soft majors.
