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i can tell you that putting effort into online messages doesn't get you far, or in my case, doesn't get me anywhere with anyone, no matter how high she's rated for me.
I've written some pretty thoughtful and elegant messages through OLD, and I don't get messages back, or I get the shortest sentence you can think of from women. It's pretty pathetic.
I'd say you have just as good a chance at the spray method as someone would with the real thoughtful method.
I can't find it now but there was an article where they created a fake profile for a handsome guy standing in front of a BMW and one for a hot gal in a bikini. The profiles were basically gibberish and included the line "This is not a real profile, do not respond."
If you present a low-quality profile, you will get low-quality guys. If she were to write up a really intelligent and coherent profile, the messages would be quite different and would attract higher quality men.
Meh....I still get plenty of notes from 20-somethings with something analogous to DTF and I have "looking for relationship."
The worst messages I get are on the the shortest profile I have. Then it is like 80% DTF.....
i can tell you that putting effort into online messages doesn't get you far, or in my case, doesn't get me anywhere with anyone, no matter how high she's rated for me.
I've written some pretty thoughtful and elegant messages through OLD, and I don't get messages back, or I get the shortest sentence you can think of from women. It's pretty pathetic.
I'd say you have just as good a chance at the spray method as someone would with the real thoughtful method.
Amen, I don't know how many girls profiles I have come across that say "put some thought into your message" and it has gotten me nowhere. Even if she isn't interested she can tell me, I wouldn't get offended.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattywo85
Amen, I don't know how many girls profiles I have come across that say "put some thought into your message" and it has gotten me nowhere. Even if she isn't interested she can tell me, I wouldn't get offended.
I used to get annoyed at that, but seeing my friend's profiles and their messages ,when they respond to men saying things like thank you for your message but I don't think we're a good match or whatever, the level of totally nasty messages they get back from so many men is appalling. I had not idea that people could go insane after receiving a no thank you.
i can tell you that putting effort into online messages doesn't get you far, or in my case, doesn't get me anywhere with anyone, no matter how high she's rated for me.
I've written some pretty thoughtful and elegant messages through OLD, and I don't get messages back, or I get the shortest sentence you can think of from women. It's pretty pathetic.
I'd say you have just as good a chance at the spray method as someone would with the real thoughtful method.
Exactly, never put time into a message. It is pointless.
If they're going to respond to you, they'd respond to a message of two sentences or 10. If they're not going to respond, it doesn't matter how much you write.
There's an inherent problem with the wide-open sites like OKC and Match where anyone can contact anyone. On the surface it seems great that you can view and contact anyone you want. Unfortunately, it means the most very attractive women are going to get hundreds of messages from guys, and aren't going to be able to respond to a very high percentage of them. If you're a guy, that means your chance of getting a response from any one of them is quite small. Therefore, if you want to have any decent chance at getting a response from just one of them (let alone to actually go out with one of them), you have to message LOTS of them. That means they get even MORE messages they can't respond to, which makes any one guy's chances even smaller, which makes the guys sent out even more emails. It also means the guys aren't going to put too much thought into any one email, because there's not enough time to do that with dozens or hundreds of emails to send. It's a vicious cycle; an arms race of sorts.
This was one thing I liked about eHarmony (though there were other things I didn't like about it). On that site you can only contact the people with whom you are matched. If I'm matched with a really attractive woman, I know that I'm one of only 6-10 new people who can contact her that day. That means there's a pretty good chance she's going to at least read my message, and have time to respond if she likes it. That means I'm going to put more time and effort into the message. It's so much easier and more enjoyable than the spray-and-pray approach I had to use on Match.
Exactly, never put time into a message. It is pointless.
If they're going to respond to you, they'd respond to a message of two sentences or 10. If they're not going to respond, it doesn't matter how much you write.
Do you think this is the case even with geeky or intellectual women?
Do you think this is the case even with geeky or intellectual women?
Well, I've been around a lot of different types of women. I don't think women who label themselves as "geeky" or "intellectual" are any different than other women.
All it takes is enough in a message to show you took the time to at least read somethign about her. Say something about how you guys relate, something interesting about yourself and a question for her. Less than that might make you look stupid, more than that makes you look a little desperate. If all you can come up with is "hi" it screams that you're nervous to write her and feel she's out of your league. Of all the messages I get, the ones who just say "hi" are always the ugly fat ones.
Also, on a tangent.. most girls who call themselves geeky aren't remotely close to geeky.. they might just have a pair of glasses and listen to my chemical romance and call that underground music.
I can't find it now but there was an article where they created a fake profile for a handsome guy standing in front of a BMW and one for a hot gal in a bikini. The profiles were basically gibberish and included the line "This is not a real profile, do not respond."
Both got dozens and dozens of responses.
"this is not a real response. kindly disregard"
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