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Personally, that's the hardest part. Going to the event is easy. I can fill my free time with all sorts of social activities, but when I actually get there anxiety tends to make it difficult to talk to women I'm attracted to. My psych has told me I do have generalized social anxiety, but when it comes to men or older women (as in people I know wouldn't be interested in me romantically, or an authority figure), I usually do much better. Then a woman will come along who's in my age range and my brain will implode when I try to say something. It's honestly quite irritating, and I know I'm being irrational, but that knowledge hurts more than it helps because I'll criticize myself for it constantly during and after the conversation.
Bingo.
What makes it worse is afterwards you think, oh I could have said or brought up XYZ while talking to her!
EDIT. Sorry Thursday for contributing to the derail.
Personally, that's the hardest part. Going to the event is easy. I can fill my free time with all sorts of social activities, but when I actually get there anxiety tends to make it difficult to talk to women I'm attracted to. My psych has told me I do have generalized social anxiety, but when it comes to men or older women (as in people I know wouldn't be interested in me romantically, or an authority figure), I usually do much better. Then a woman will come along who's in my age range and my brain will implode when I try to say something. It's honestly quite irritating, and I know I'm being irrational, but that knowledge hurts more than it helps because I'll criticize myself for it constantly during and after the conversation.
I know how it feels, and the longer you hold out and avoid facing these fears, the more difficult it is to break out of your shell.
I'm thinking about where the happiest couples I know met.
My two sets of aunts and uncles who are very happily married grew up together in the same neighborhoods.
My British buddy met his wife at a party the night before he was to leave the country they were both living in. He knew she was the one and, if I recall correctly, skipped his flight to stick around a bit longer. They are still together some 15 years later.
My cousin met his wife at a night club (and a rather cheesy one at that).
A friend of a friend met her husband through a club they were in - either cycling or speed skating, can't remember which.
Still another friend met her significant other through a dog-sport club (See why I tell everyone to get a hobby?)
One of my buddies met his wife at the retail bookstore where we all worked.
A friend of mine married a guy she met while standing in line for concert tickets.
LOL. I thought you meant the guys behind the counter
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