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Hmmm...not many bad ones, but the most recent one stands out...
About 4 years ago (yeah, the most recent ) I was determined to get back into "the scene" after being divorced for several years. Of course, being a New Millennium-kinda' guy I decided to give the online dating services a shot.
I joined e-Harmony and soon found a lovely lady only 25 minutes away. We emailed back and forth for a few weeks then decided to meet up at a bookstore (one of those with the coffee bar and desserts) on a Friday night. I was sipping my coffee (plain - got nasty looks from the barista) and browsing the stacks when a vision of loveliness appeared at my side. She was even better in person than her pictures hinted - she was funny, smart, sweet and sexy. We sat and talked for several hours, closing the store down and promising to meet again the following Friday.
In the interim we continued IM'ing and emailing each other, getting tons of laughs and gaining insights into each other. We seemed perfectly matched...
When next we met at the bookstore, we started with the usual chatter, and the subject came around to previous relationships. She told me, at length, of one gent on the Net who she'd had problems with - he had been stalking her and writing filthy notes to her. I lightly mentioned that she had to be careful with those guys on the Net, and the next thing you know the CHANGE began - the skin melted away from her skull, her eyes glowed red and when she opened her mouth an unholy scream came out.
"How DARE you tell me who I should see? Who the HELL are YOU to tell me what to do with my life? I don't need any..."
The cream in my coffee curdled and small children were crying and clinging to their mothers as I just sat there open-mouthed and slack-jawed. She rose as if she were a demonic Phoenix, screeched one final time and flew away, never to be seen again.
Me? I limped back to my cave with bleeding eardrums and glazed eyes, trying to figure out what had happened but in the end just chalking it up to my bad luck...
About 4 years ago (yeah, the most recent )
"How DARE you tell me who I should see? Who the HELL are YOU to tell me what to do with my life? I don't need any..."
The cream in my coffee curdled and small children were crying and clinging to their mothers as I just sat there open-mouthed and slack-jawed. She rose as if she were a demonic Phoenix, screeched one final time and flew away, never to be seen again.
Me? I limped back to my cave with bleeding eardrums and glazed eyes, trying to figure out what had happened
Definitely sounds bipolar.
I did get a good chuckle about the "4 years ago" though. And your writing and details and scenes are really good, I would like to read your short story collection when it comes out!
Hmmm...not many bad ones, but the most recent one stands out...
About 4 years ago (yeah, the most recent ) I was determined to get back into "the scene" after being divorced for several years. Of course, being a New Millennium-kinda' guy I decided to give the online dating services a shot.
I joined e-Harmony and soon found a lovely lady only 25 minutes away. We emailed back and forth for a few weeks then decided to meet up at a bookstore (one of those with the coffee bar and desserts) on a Friday night. I was sipping my coffee (plain - got nasty looks from the barista) and browsing the stacks when a vision of loveliness appeared at my side. She was even better in person than her pictures hinted - she was funny, smart, sweet and sexy. We sat and talked for several hours, closing the store down and promising to meet again the following Friday.
In the interim we continued IM'ing and emailing each other, getting tons of laughs and gaining insights into each other. We seemed perfectly matched...
When next we met at the bookstore, we started with the usual chatter, and the subject came around to previous relationships. She told me, at length, of one gent on the Net who she'd had problems with - he had been stalking her and writing filthy notes to her. I lightly mentioned that she had to be careful with those guys on the Net, and the next thing you know the CHANGE began - the skin melted away from her skull, her eyes glowed red and when she opened her mouth an unholy scream came out.
"How DARE you tell me who I should see? Who the HELL are YOU to tell me what to do with my life? I don't need any..."
The cream in my coffee curdled and small children were crying and clinging to their mothers as I just sat there open-mouthed and slack-jawed. She rose as if she were a demonic Phoenix, screeched one final time and flew away, never to be seen again.
Me? I limped back to my cave with bleeding eardrums and glazed eyes, trying to figure out what had happened but in the end just chalking it up to my bad luck...
Yo, SifuPhil...how the heck are ya?
that was me
It's been a long time...
now, who the hell are you to write this story..? I didn't screech, it was my ritual mating call...
used to live in the Poconos, remember
your better off without me...honey, I'm a vamp by night...LOL
seriously, I laughed so hard at this...great story!
When next we met at the bookstore, we started with the usual chatter, and the subject came around to previous relationships. She told me, at length, of one gent on the Net who she'd had problems with - he had been stalking her and writing filthy notes to her. I lightly mentioned that she had to be careful with those guys on the Net, and the next thing you know the CHANGE began - the skin melted away from her skull, her eyes glowed red and when she opened her mouth an unholy scream came out.
"How DARE you tell me who I should see? Who the HELL are YOU to tell me what to do with my life? I don't need any..."
LMAO! How did I miss THAT today?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
Yo, SifuPhil...how the heck are ya?
that was me
It's been a long time...
now, who the hell are you to write this story..? I didn't screech, it was my ritual mating call...
used to live in the Poconos, remember
your better off without me...honey, I'm a vamp by night...LOL
seriously, I laughed so hard at this...great story!
I don't have any truly horrific dates to share. But there are a ton of good ones in this article from a year or so ago. My favorite date story is about the pinky slap. LOL- My husband tries to get me to pinky slap every so often ever since I told him about the article and the date.
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