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There is this guy that I have been seeing for past two months and recently I asked him a question about “where is this going?” which I thought is reasonable to ask after two months and honestly, I was expecting a ‘being exclusive’ talk but he completely misunderstood me and his first reaction was “omg this is too intense, do we really have to do this?” and I said yes because I need to know, so then he told me about some bs reason how he has commitment issues because of some decade old break up and he tells the girl if she gets too serious that he can’t do it (he hasn’t said so to me yet nor any signs of it). He doesn’t know which city he wants to live in so when you’re in relationship you have to take the decision consulting the other and he wants to travel around etc.
His whole “I can’t commit talk” took me by surprise because that’s not what I planned to ask firstly, for me it was more like “hey let’s be exclusive and see where it goes”. I thought exclusivity is practical to ask after two months and not straight out commitment lol. But I wouldn’t mind it in the future.
I am confused by his actions as he claims that he can’t commit or whatever but this guy is always planning things with me at his own initiative as well, he calls me all those cute affectionate names, celebrated my birthday by taking me out on a surprise dinner, he even introduced me to his brother and we all had dinner together with his brother’s gf. (these indications seemed to be a really good sign that he’s into me).
At the end of this weird conversation, I could never clarify what I wanted to ask and he told me he likes me a lot and is always looking forward to spend time with me. He likes to go with the ‘flow’ and things are going great btw us. His friends love me a lot and he likes that and it’s important for him.
When we are in bed, he tells me how glad he is that he met me and he says ‘I like you’. I always reply back saying I like him too because I do. Bottom line is, his actions don’t get along with what he says . And honestly, I can’t jump into a relationship right away either, I like to spend time and see how it is so he doesn’t even have to feel pressure there.
I am so confused because I am not good at these talks, I suck at talking this through myself and since he acts out weird having these talks, I don’t even feel confident anymore about how to ask him.
I brought this up while talking to his best friend he told me not to worry and told me he is not one of those guys who do not put it in so many words about commitment talk and it’s not that he can’t commit so I shouldn’t worry.
I appreciate his friends input but when I told my friends they all were firstly shocked with his reaction because they have met him and they told me “omg it’s so obvious he is into you a lot” but now they have advised me to dump him because he told me he can’t commit anyway so I should not waste my time.
Should I still keep seeing this guy? Should I meet up and clarify with him what I really meant to ask him? I can commit but if he’s already telling me he can’t, is it possible that in the future he might want to?
One of the biggest mistakes that women make is by never giving the man a chance to "claim" you. When he's ready to consider what the two of you have a committed relationship, believe me, you'll know. If he hasn't made it clear after two months of dating, that's because he hasn't made a definitive decision yet, and pressuring him into giving you an answer isn't going to help things.
I don't understand how lame most people are that you are banging the person and all you can say is - i like you... WTF is wrong with saying I love you when you already exchange body fluids several times is beyond me!!!
And honestly like the youtube video link in another thread. You all deserve to be alone because you are all soooo lame to just express what you truly feel!
OMG.
When we are in bed, he tells me how glad he is that he met me and he says ‘I like you’. I always reply back saying I like him too because I do.
That statement really pi-ss me off. Its lameness is just beyond pathetic!
At least my husband has the balls to say I love you to me when he was trying to get in my pants when we were at his his house when we were dating. LOL.
There is this guy that I have been seeing for past two months and recently I asked him a question about “where is this going?” which I thought is reasonable to ask after two months and honestly, I was expecting a ‘being exclusive’ talk but he completely misunderstood me and his first reaction was “omg this is too intense, do we really have to do this?” and I said yes because I need to know, so then he told me about some bs reason how he has commitment issues because of some decade old break up and he tells the girl if she gets too serious that he can’t do it (he hasn’t said so to me yet nor any signs of it). He doesn’t know which city he wants to live in so when you’re in relationship you have to take the decision consulting the other and he wants to travel around etc.
His whole “I can’t commit talk” took me by surprise because that’s not what I planned to ask firstly, for me it was more like “hey let’s be exclusive and see where it goes”. I thought exclusivity is practical to ask after two months and not straight out commitment lol. But I wouldn’t mind it in the future.
I am confused by his actions as he claims that he can’t commit or whatever but this guy is always planning things with me at his own initiative as well, he calls me all those cute affectionate names, celebrated my birthday by taking me out on a surprise dinner, he even introduced me to his brother and we all had dinner together with his brother’s gf. (these indications seemed to be a really good sign that he’s into me).
At the end of this weird conversation, I could never clarify what I wanted to ask and he told me he likes me a lot and is always looking forward to spend time with me. He likes to go with the ‘flow’ and things are going great btw us. His friends love me a lot and he likes that and it’s important for him.
When we are in bed, he tells me how glad he is that he met me and he says ‘I like you’. I always reply back saying I like him too because I do. Bottom line is, his actions don’t get along with what he says . And honestly, I can’t jump into a relationship right away either, I like to spend time and see how it is so he doesn’t even have to feel pressure there.
I am so confused because I am not good at these talks, I suck at talking this through myself and since he acts out weird having these talks, I don’t even feel confident anymore about how to ask him.
I brought this up while talking to his best friend he told me not to worry and told me he is not one of those guys who do not put it in so many words about commitment talk and it’s not that he can’t commit so I shouldn’t worry.
I appreciate his friends input but when I told my friends they all were firstly shocked with his reaction because they have met him and they told me “omg it’s so obvious he is into you a lot” but now they have advised me to dump him because he told me he can’t commit anyway so I should not waste my time.
Should I still keep seeing this guy? Should I meet up and clarify with him what I really meant to ask him? I can commit but if he’s already telling me he can’t, is it possible that in the future he might want to?
There are a lot of people who say "I like you" when they are having sex with you, it means nothing.
IF you are an actual adult and can make your own life decisions then start doing so.
Read the words you wrote and then decide if this sounds like a situation that you really want to be in.
If it were me, I'd stop sleeping with him and get my head cleared so I could think about how I really felt about him and the 2 month relationship. If you lose him because you are cutting the sex off, big deal. Sex when you only "like" someone must be confusing as heck.
It's NOT confusing, he's told you he doesn't want to commit.
The OP is the confusing one as she doesn't believe him.
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It's NOT confusing, he's told you he doesn't want to commit.
The OP is the confusing one as she doesn't believe him.
Perfect reply! Concise and to the point. Accurate as well.
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