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I think men like women that women consider bitchy. Women are generally raised to be non-confrontational, so when we set boundaries and stand up for ourselves, we feel guilty about it, like we're being harridans. The thing to remember is that what we see as bitchy, men tend to see as just being clear and direct.
Furthermore, quite a few men deliberately push boundaries to see what they can get away with and whether we think highly enough of ourselves to draw a line somewhere. Pretty much every man who has ever gotten serious about me has said the same thing: "I like you because you don't put up with any crap, including mine."
I think men like women that women consider bitchy. Women are generally raised to be non-confrontational, so when we set boundaries and stand up for ourselves, we feel guilty about it, like we're being harridans. The thing to remember is that what we see as bitchy, men tend to see as just being clear and direct.
Furthermore, quite a few men deliberately push boundaries to see what they can get away with and whether we think highly enough of ourselves to draw a line somewhere. Pretty much every man who has ever gotten serious about me has said the same thing: "I like you because you don't put up with any crap, including mine."
Dammit, I haven't figured out how to bold on this ipod yet but that sentence of yours that starts "women are raised to be non-confrontational"....that's some funny stuff right there.
first off, i dont know any guy that likes a witchy woman ('cept for the song)
most guys like the sweet, pleasing nature of a woman,,,,,and most women do have this, and it is usually in a phase of most relationships.. it can be magical and adorable .....at the beginning. she loves, the feeling of being with you and almost has a "glow" about her...
and depending on the guy(and how she's been hurt in the past)- depends on how long this lasts, while this isnt reality,,it is awesome while it lasts, - a few things in the mix here- either she feels like she's never felt- could be infatuation, could be her heart is pounding out of her chest, it could be chemistry she's never felt and is overwhelmed....no matter what it is,,,i wish their was a spray for this ....
i believe a good man will bring out the best in a woman, and a good woman will bring out the best in a man,,,,and when it is "special" is when you bring out of the other- more then they even knew they had, and then there is a "chemistry" quotient.... a dangerous, excitable adventurism, that throws all caution and common sense to the wind..
because you "just know" this person will lead you places you've never been...
in maturity and cold reality- below is what can and does happen
if i've learned anything in life, i've learned you frontload in a relationship, if you are a shrinking violette - or a man with no balls or spine,,,you will be run over by - ironically by all the baggage, fears and past, unresolved b.s. from the other.. if not contested..
this is why it is sooooooooo important to be direct, honest, and address the little red flags when you first see them..
much of the time we appease, avoid, and withdraw from any conflict at first- we go along to get along,,,,,wrong, wrong , wrong
I read a bumper sticker on a car the other say "we are all broken"
and to some extent this is true..we all have our quirks, insecurities and fears
now, on some personalities- we need someone to challenge them and keep them straight....but thats a hard road to follow..
i remember a movie,,many moons ago,,,urban cowboy,,(something like that) the girl finally "gets her cowboy" and he beats her and cheats on her. she didnt deserve it,,,and no matter what she did to challenge him , scream at him,,,this was his nature... - she allowed herself to fall for the guy, ignoring the little red flags at first...
and some men will do the same- ignore the little red flags,,,, just wanting to jump her., and some guys will appease, and compromise their own integrityto do this- its definitely a weakness... some guys will tolerate getting yelled at, as long as in a couple hours,,he has his way with her..
if relationships were an exact science,,,,half of us would never be born
You love "your own personal Type A" as she or he brings home the bacon, climbs the ladder, steps over the bodies..........
UNTIL the first fight which is when she or he steps on YOU.
Then you start packing. You call the divorce lawyer. You grab the kids and run out of there.
True?
No..my husband is type A through and through. I'm very much a follower. I don't have a single type A personality trait (well, except for being extremely organized).
When we fight, I can fight fair, until the other person isn't.
He's learned to fight fair because while I might be a follower, I am not a doormat. The few big fights we have had left him looking like this because he never expected my reaction.
Well there is a book called, "Men Like _itches" that teaches you how to be a little more naggy and such.
The last man I dated I think liked the dramatic type. I was having lunch with his friends and when he wasn't around, one of them mentioned to me that he "liked a challenge." (His friends always seemed to encourage me--I think they liked me and wanted me to be with him). They agree and reminded me of his ex-wife (who was VERY dramatic) and ex girlfriends who were the same (including the one they though might actually be deeply mentally disturbed).
But it's not really my nature. I know distance played a role in things falling apart, but in the back of my head, I wonder if I wasn't enough of "a challenge." AKA, I was too boring and easy to get along with.
I wouldn't go so far as to say all men like this kind of woman... But I think there is a personality who does like the high-maintenance, "witchy" type.
Too much generalization here. Simple formula. Women, if you're nearing your 40's, still single, been dumped over and over, chances are, you're a bitchy, nagging woman. Men hang on to good women. We fight for them as they are becoming very hard to find. A quick sex and easy lay, is easy thanks to the feminist movement, but a good hearted, supportive, caring and sweet woman is getting harder to find.
No, men do not like bitchy women. We put up with it on some level, but if it gets to be too much, the woman will get the opposite reaction that she is aiming for by being a nag and bitchy person. Smart women know how to get what they want from the man they're with and bitching has nothing to do with it.
And the implication, that this is the male version of women wanting, "bad boys" is ridiculous. Men and women are different and the two scenarios cannot be compared.
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because he never expected my reaction.
