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Just addressing the part I put in bold. Although the statistics are there to support what you've stated I know that there are still many couples who marry and stay married. Retired LEO here with over 30 years in LE working nights, weekends, holidays and so on. My wife and I met in high school and we waited to marry after she finished college. I'd already been a police officer for 3 years at this point. We've now been together over 36 years total. I worked with plenty of officers who did go through divorces but I also worked with plenty who have been married for a long time with no signs of slowing down. Just wanted to point out that a relationship with someone in a uniform is not a sure sign of a divorce.
The hours were not a factor in my divorce. It can work. There needs to be lots of understanding and communications to make it all work. Gallows humor is a coping mechanism.
Just addressing the part I put in bold. Although the statistics are there to support what you've stated I know that there are still many couples who marry and stay married. Retired LEO here with over 30 years in LE working nights, weekends, holidays and so on. My wife and I met in high school and we waited to marry after she finished college. I'd already been a police officer for 3 years at this point. We've now been together over 36 years total. I worked with plenty of officers who did go through divorces but I also worked with plenty who have been married for a long time with no signs of slowing down. Just wanted to point out that a relationship with someone in a uniform is not a sure sign of a divorce.
I already felt this way anyway. Just because someone else had a bad experience or thinks it'll never work, does not influence me much, I like to judge for myself, but I do like hearing about their experiences.
Just addressing the part I put in bold. Although the statistics are there to support what you've stated I know that there are still many couples who marry and stay married. Retired LEO here with over 30 years in LE working nights, weekends, holidays and so on. My wife and I met in high school and we waited to marry after she finished college. I'd already been a police officer for 3 years at this point. We've now been together over 36 years total. I worked with plenty of officers who did go through divorces but I also worked with plenty who have been married for a long time with no signs of slowing down. Just wanted to point out that a relationship with someone in a uniform is not a sure sign of a divorce.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020
The hours were not a factor in my divorce. It can work. There needs to be lots of understanding and communications to make it all work. Gallows humor is a coping mechanism.
Oddly enough, the hours were the biggest cause of my last split. He worked a weird schedule, 6am-2pm one week, 2pm-10pm the next week, with floating weekends of two or three days. So on days he worked, either his head was lolling by about 8:00, or he was at work in the evening, so we only saw each other once a week. Sometimes it was for two days, but there were usually 5 or 6 days at a stretch where we didn't see each other. About a year of that pretty much killed the relationship. When we broke up, a couple of weeks later I caught myself thinking, "It doesn't feel much different, other than my phone not ringing as much."
The irony is that had we been living together or married, chances are we would have been okay.
I don't know if this is still true, but at least when my brother was serving, History of mood disorders requiring outpatient care for longer than 6 months by a physician or other mental health professional, or inpatient treatment in a hospital or residential facility is automatic disqualifying.
There are still definitely mental health disqualifiers for enlistment, but that entails having proof of the issue existing prior to enlistment. If there is onset of a mental health issue during service, it can be trickier, depending upon the specific situation. There is also an atmosphere where people will actively not seek necessarily mental health help due to fear of being medically separated, so that's not good, either. My husband has had to order people to go to mental health before.
There are still definitely mental health disqualifiers for enlistment, but that entails having proof of the issue existing prior to enlistment. If there is onset of a mental health issue during service, it can be trickier, depending upon the specific situation. There is also an atmosphere where people will actively not seek necessarily mental health help due to fear of being medically separated, so that's not good, either. My husband has had to order people to go to mental health before.
That's what I thought. It is good to know!!
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