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Depends on which ones you're talking about. But in no particular order:
Not there when you need them
Second fiddle to career
Sacrificed holidays
Job stress
Worry about death and dismemberment
Worry about bloodborne pathogens
Cold, callous, and compartmentalizing
Suspicion of everyone around them
Inability to relax
Infidelity
Too much drinking
Lousy temper
Fascination with guns
Nervous breakdowns
Big egos
Short lives
Neo-conservative politics
The Big Three of Male-Dominated Fields: Racism, sexism, and homophobia
And then, when they do things right, you still have to deal with the ungrateful public.
I'm 47. The last 30-40 years of my life will be peaceful, non-violent, and gun-free if it kills me.
This is a really good list. These are some of the reasons I didn't WANT to end up with someone is these lines of work. Life never works out how you plan.
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Well, I can imagine what the negative things are for the wives/gf's, but you said twice that it's not good for them (the man on active duty during combat). I'm wondering why you think it's not good for them.
Do you have any idea what seeing some of that stuff will do to a man? It can go all kinds of bad directions.
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I was always attracted to men in business suits that carried brief cases until I met the love of my life, a police officer. Go figure. The heart wants what the heart wants. Keep an open mind for all types. When the right one comes along and hits you between the eyes it won't matter what he does for a living.
I have never been attracted to men in business suits that carried brief cases. But I agree with you animalcrazy, especially the bolded.
bolded = golden
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy
many in the military did not join to kill contrary to what you believe. Many joined to get out of a bad neighborhood. Many joined because it was a job, and some because it was their best alternative from where they came from. Many joined to travel and learn new things. I won't deny, I'm sure the military attracts a few psychopaths. Any job where people might be commanded to kill will get those types; however, they are such a small fraction of the military as a whole. To the majority of these people it is a fulfilling and rewarding job, but to some it is a passion just to FIGHT FOR THEIR COUNTRY.
It is sad that the general attitude toward veterans is directly linked to popularity of the war. I wonder if the "military are bunch of paid killer" crowd would have said the exact same thing to the WWII veterans? What has changed in our society? Freedom is not free. It never has been, nor will it ever be. War is never a game, especially when American blood is being shed. It doesn't matter why do these people enlist, they are ready to fight for us. This is exactly whey we thank them for their SERVICE.
If the person just seems misguided rather than pants-on-head retarded, then I'll start delving into why exactly they dislike the military. In most cases, they'll go from hostile to unfriendly / indifferent. Most people who actually have the balls to get in a straight-up argument with you over the military are so set in their ways that it would take a miracle to get them to abandon that train of thought. So it is not useful to argue with folks like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy
If you view the military like this, then you must view all of society is like that.
No freaking kidding.
"Members of the all-volunteer military are significantly more likely to come from high-income neighborhoods than from low-income neighborhoods. Only 11 percent of enlisted recruits in 2007 came from the poorest one-fifth (quintile) of neighborhoods, while 25 percent came from the wealthiest quintile."
Military definitely represents American society, and I completely agree with you when you posted "If you view the military like this, then you must view all of society is like that." Great point.
I don't care if there are folks who don't like Military, they are entitled to their personal opinions, but bull crap lies still needs to be debunked.
-------------------------------
Having said all that, I feel everybody is entitled to his or her dating preference, Hey after all this is a free country. But these military people are somebody's sons, fathers, husbands, friends, siblings, being a little kind, respect a little boundary is all we can ask for. Showing a little bit compassion is not going to kill ya.
When I hear a woman says "I only am attracted to military men and cops." There are two thoughts come to my minds immediately 1. Fetish 2. Potential dependapotamus
Either way, if you want this type of men, go for it. Don't let anybody stop you. But for peter's sake, treat these men as men first, their emotional, physical, spiritual needs deserve to be met. Treat them as military men second. Being realistic about military life, do some research, actually spending some time with this type of men because at the end of the day, we all just want to be loved, respected or at least understood.
Read Lilac's posts because I believe this lady is very straight forward and honest. Her posts are actually pretty good.
I was wondering why being in a relationship is bad for them.
I wouldn't say it's bad for them. A good marriage can only help. I'm sure someone like Iknowftbll can attest to that.
The problem is that getting involved with someone you know to be shipping out places an expectation on him that he may not be able to meet. From his side of things, that is a stressor that he really shouldn't have to deal with. Even the wives can cause problems. When I lived in Hawaii, the XO thought I was the bee's knees because I was one of the few women who wouldn't go schlepping into his office on base demanding to know where my man was when he was TAD (on temporary additional duty). Spouses and significant others who don't know what the boundaries are and their place can cause some political issues for a service member.
And let's be honest: Long separations raise the risk of infidelity. When I lived in Hawaii, I was sickened by the amount of running around and cheating I saw. These men were up to their knees in sand fleas in the Suck, and their wives were running over to the different clubs (officers' wives to the E-club, enlisted men's wives to the O-club) and screwing anything that didn't screw them first. I suspect my beau cheated on me in the two months we were separated before I got there, in fact, with the wife of someone who was deployed (and a hero, to boot, as this fellow was prior enlisted and was actually a hostage in Iran during the Carter Administration, as he was an embassy guard when it happened).
Not that the Marines were all angels. There were the guys who had entire second families in the Philippines. I remember the horror of a friend of mine going to her mailbox, being all excited about a letter from the PI, and when she opened it, it was nothing but a compromising photo of her fiance with a local woman. Of course, she was upset, and of course, another Marine who was stateside did his best to try to "comfort" her.
It really takes some strong people capable of putting blinders on to make a military marriage work.
I wouldn't say it's bad for them. A good marriage can only help. I'm sure someone like Iknowftbll can attest to that.
The problem is that getting involved with someone you know to be shipping out places an expectation on him that he may not be able to meet. From his side of things, that is a stressor that he really shouldn't have to deal with. Even the wives can cause problems. When I lived in Hawaii, the XO thought I was the bee's knees because I was one of the few women who wouldn't go schlepping into his office on base demanding to know where my man was when he was TAD (on temporary additional duty). Spouses and significant others who don't know what the boundaries are and their place can cause some political issues for a service member.
And let's be honest: Long separations raise the risk of infidelity. When I lived in Hawaii, I was sickened by the amount of running around and cheating I saw. These men were up to their knees in sand fleas in the Suck, and their wives were running over to the different clubs (officers' wives to the E-club, enlisted men's wives to the O-club) and screwing anything that didn't screw them first. I suspect my beau cheated on me in the two months we were separated before I got there, in fact, with the wife of someone who was deployed (and a hero, to boot, as this fellow was prior enlisted and was actually a hostage in Iran during the Carter Administration, as he was an embassy guard when it happened).
Not that the Marines were all angels. There were the guys who had entire second families in the Philippines. I remember the horror of a friend of mine going to her mailbox, being all excited about a letter from the PI, and when she opened it, it was nothing but a compromising photo of her fiancee with a local woman. Of course, she was upset, and of course, another Marine who was stateside did his best to try to "comfort" her.
It really takes some strong people capable of putting blinders on to make a military marriage work.
Another great post. and I agree with the bolded especially.
18 years of firefighting, along with 13 years of dispatching and law enforcement I have some thoughts. I should type this from my computer and not a tablet. Anyway, military and law enforcement spend much of their careers in a hyper state of vigilance. They see the worst of the worst day in and day out. They maintain that state, the pendulum swings fast the other direction leading to depressed states. Managing the swings helps to maintain good physical health and mental health.
It is partly why law enforcement has higher rates of divorce and health issues. Learning to mange that stress is difficult. I try to keep my work life and personal life separate but, it seems to follow along. I attempt to treat everyone fairly and with respect. When I do have to take enforcement action I try to do so in a way that they can walk away holding their head up high.
I won't deny, I'm sure the military attracts a few psychopaths.
My husband is one of the people who gets to weed out and remove people who are mentally unfit for duty and are therefore a liability before they get to the fleet, if for some reason their mental disturbance was not caught in the in-processing process or the recruit training command process. This is not to say that mental illness can't crop up once you're in and trained. One issue is that some mental illnesses, such as schizo-affective disorders, tend to have a frequent midtwenties onset in men...so some guys who enlist without mental illness may later develop it. At any rate, mental illness (and NOT just combat PTSD, despite what movies and TV would have you think) isn't uncommon on the military, just like it's not in the civilian world. But serving requires medical clearance, including mental health.
The fact is, right now, the military can be choosy in who it accepts, and it's to nobody's benefit to enlist or commission a psychopath.
18 years of firefighting, along with 13 years of dispatching and law enforcement I have some thoughts. I should type this from my computer and not a tablet. Anyway, military and law enforcement spend much of their careers in a hyper state of vigilance. They see the worst of the worst day in and day out. They maintain that state, the pendulum swings fast the other direction leading to depressed states. Managing the swings helps to maintain good physical health and mental health.
It is partly why law enforcement has higher rates of divorce and health issues. Learning to mange that stress is difficult. I try to keep my work life and personal life separate but, it seems to follow along. I attempt to treat everyone fairly and with respect. When I do have to take enforcement action I try to do so in a way that they can walk away holding their head up high.
You're a very intelligent and good guy.
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Life never works out how you plan. 
Freedom is not free. It never has been, nor will it ever be. War is never a game, especially when American blood is being shed. It doesn't matter why do these people enlist, they are ready to fight for us. This is exactly whey we thank them for their SERVICE.
