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Did you really think anyone was going to say that anxiety, or depression, poor social skills and other negative traits are desirable to anyone?
This is definitely true. There seem to be so many guys online dealing with these kinds of issues, but unfortunately for them, romantic/sexual relationships don't happen in a vacuum. As much as these guys can be pleasant and mean well, most women don't want to have to treat a guy the same way they'd treat a terrified kitten hiding behind the couch.
I get anxious with women that I am even remotely attracted to, including plain women. If I think that I want to date her, I get anxiety and an uneasy feeling in my chest. This is for pretty much most women my age, including rather plain women. There are attractive older and younger women, but they give no such anxiety, due to lack of interest.
Further more, my social skills are ****. I can talk about things passionately, but they are *things* like politics, technology, and botany. My humor is subpar (I don't easily find stuff funny, or find funny stuff), and I can't flirt or be seductive at all. In addition, I don't have much to say involving people-related stories including my own. On top of that I lack self-confidence in front of people...
...despite being able to have decent public-speaking skill.
That said, I do have manners, but that's about it.
And yet despite all these negatives, I deserve much better than these "plain women."
So freaking fix it. Do you just want to moan about it, or change it.
Good grief.
People who go on and on about their "anxiety" typically are not looking for help, they are only looking for sympathy
These days, everyone who gets upset is depressed and everyone who feels uncomfortable has social anxiety. I'm not denying that anxiety and depression are very serious... but it seems like everyone uses it for an excuse instead of trying to get over it.
Well, the women have all sorts of personalities. However it's not often I find someone like me. I met someone like me once, though. However they were taken.
Three suggestions not related to the above quote.
1) Lose weight get fit again, Doesnt have to be running a marathon, it can start with running around the block a few times. Baby Steps.
2) Work on your self talk, a self fulfilling prophecy happens only after years of listening to our voice in our head. Remember it took years of self talk to get where we are at. It starts with recognising the negative stuff we tell ourselves and replacing it with positive. If your really negative there are some really agressive selfhelp tapes or self hypnosis tapes out there.
3) Practice, practice, practice. Everything your talking about in regards to dating, confidence with women, conversations etc are all learned skills. Barely rarely can someone be a natural off the bat.
The above things will improve your odds so much bette
Change that. First start with diet, then exercise. Change your diet (don't "diet"), no soda, etc. Exercise 6x a week. Get going. No reason to be overweight.
No wonder you don't feel good about yourself. Fix it, you'll feel better about everything.
I can vouch for this. Plenty of evidence in the medical literature about the emotional benefits and mood-lifting effects of exercise.
Bill Phillips, author of Body for Life (which I haven't read, but am just telling you so you know he's not my next-door neighbor or something), said something that has become a bit of a mantra for me: Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug in America, and exercise is the most potent yet underutilized anti-depressant.
There's merit in that, so much so that I have a hunch that America's obesity epidemic is partly attributable to an anxiety epidemic.
The only part I would disagree with is trying to do it all at once. Small changes are better. Cut out soda. Or chips. Or sweets. Just one at first. Then another. Gym three times a week for 30-40 minutes, and work up to 6 times. It's easy to overwhelm yourself and make yourself so physically uncomfortable that you hate it and just give up. Been there, too.
And yet despite all these negatives, I deserve much better than these "plain women."
I am a plain guy. There are no outstanding physical features in me, my personality isn't very vibrant, though I am not someone comfortable with watching football and drinking beer every weekend. I want someone to tag along with and just be there to experience what life has to offer and satisfy curiosity and have conversations with and occasionally do bold things as well and replace a sad, lonely memory with one which I can be content about.. I maybe a scared kitten, but I do occasionally come out of the couch.
I can vouch for this. Plenty of evidence in the medical literature about the emotional benefits and mood-lifting effects of exercise.
Bill Phillips, author of Body for Life (which I haven't read, but am just telling you so you know he's not my next-door neighbor or something), said something that has become a bit of a mantra for me: Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug in America, and exercise is the most potent yet underutilized anti-depressant.
There's merit in that, so much so that I have a hunch that America's obesity epidemic is partly attributable to an anxiety epidemic.
The only part I would disagree with is trying to do it all at once. Small changes are better. Cut out soda. Or chips. Or sweets. Just one at first. Then another. Gym three times a week for 30-40 minutes, and work up to 6 times. It's easy to overwhelm yourself and make yourself so physically uncomfortable that you hate it and just give up. Been there, too.
I think America's obesity epidemic is just due to lazy behavior and a "poor me" attitude. Obese people blame everyone, every restaurant, the government and whoever else is in their life besides themselves. If they'd put as much effort into eating better and going to the gym as much as they did talking about why it's not their fault they'd probably be in better shape.
Either way, that's not the point of the thread. You gave the OP good advice, although I can be near 100% certain he'll never use any of it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
I can vouch for this. Plenty of evidence in the medical literature about the emotional benefits and mood-lifting effects of exercise.
Bill Phillips, author of Body for Life (which I haven't read, but am just telling you so you know he's not my next-door neighbor or something), said something that has become a bit of a mantra for me: Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug in America, and exercise is the most potent yet underutilized anti-depressant.
There's merit in that, so much so that I have a hunch that America's obesity epidemic is partly attributable to an anxiety epidemic.
The only part I would disagree with is trying to do it all at once. Small changes are better. Cut out soda. Or chips. Or sweets. Just one at first. Then another. Gym three times a week for 30-40 minutes, and work up to 6 times. It's easy to overwhelm yourself and make yourself so physically uncomfortable that you hate it and just give up. Been there, too.
Well, I'm not one for moderation. All in
It's a tremendous thing. It isn't even that women care that I can lift more, or lost 10#, or whatever... I don't think they do. It's that I feel better about me, and when I feel good about me people pick up on that. It makes a huge difference. Slumping people that don't feel good about themselves and how they look are not attractive.
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. It doesn't respond to pick-me-uppers at all either.
