She is still dating me although I made it clear that I won't marry her. (guys, husband)
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All irrelevant. This situation is an example of something that is not necessarily wrong morally but extremely non-beneficial to innocent parties involved (the children) You need to do the honorable thing and let her go and stop contact with the kids. Why do you insist on continuing? Are the woman, her kids or both, sources of narcissistic supply for you? If you don't want this woman, why are you trying to stop her finding someone who does want her? And when you decide you have had enough of whatever is going on here, are you just going to bounce, take off and leave the children's mother to explain things? That's sh**tty. Find a woman with no kids who doesn't want to marry. I guess there would be no "challenge" in that, though.
^^ This.
This is the point in the movie where the rest of the CD Relationships forum stands up and slow claps for laorbust61. Right on.
How about not going about it at all and ending things? There's a thought!
Even if you do love her, it's not fair to anyone involved if you continue with her.
He will wind up frustrated and angry with her because she won't allow him to forcefeed her CRUMBS. And how does "having feelings" compared to "I love you, I love your kids and I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life in this family"
If marriage is what she wants, she should go for it and kick every guy to the curb who doesn't want marriage with her. They are monumental wastes of her time. Just because a man wants/thinks he wants/is infatuated with a woman, that doesn't entitle him to ANYTHING from her.
He will wind up frustrated and angry with her because she won't allow him to forcefeed her CRUMBS. And how does "having feelings" compared to "I love you, I love your kids and I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life in this family"
If marriage is what she wants, she should go for it and kick every guy to the curb who doesn't want marriage with her. They are monumental wastes of her time. Just because a man wants/thinks he wants/is infatuated with a woman, that doesn't entitle him to ANYTHING from her.
He sounds like he is already frustrated with her. He's blaming her for the whole thing! As if he doesn't have any control.
I wasn't blaming her for anything. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions.
Really? Are you reading your posts before you hit "submit"?
You wonder why she is staying with you. She has four kids. Everyone has told you what the decent thing to do is, and you've argued with them. You also complained that you were apart but got back together.
I'm failing to see what the issue is here. You either do the right thing and cut her loose for the sake of her and her children, or you don't. What the hell do you want from us?
I was thinking about something similar to this. Why do people stay with someone even though they know they don't want to marry them/end up with them? Well, what are we supposed to do until we find that person we want to marry? Stay single forever?
I was thinking about something similar to this. Why do people stay with someone even though they know they don't want to marry them/end up with them? Well, what are we supposed to do until we find that person we want to marry? Stay single forever?
That is a good question. I honestly was not going to marry anyone. I even told my girlfriend last week that if we had never met, I would still be single. I was always honest with her. It seems like if someone is in a relationship with someone, everyone expects them to get married. It amazes me to this day.
That is a good question. I honestly was not going to marry anyone. I even told my girlfriend last week that if we had never met, I would still be single. I was always honest with her. It seems like if someone is in a relationship with someone, everyone expects them to get married. It amazes me to this day.
Your GF is settling or is secretly wishing you will change your mind in the future. Which is NEVER. I personally won't want to have a relationship with you if you made it clear that you won't marry ever.
It amazes me why you even bother getting in relationship with this single mom. Or even call her a GF. Why not just FB or FWB which is what you will have in you life anyway.
After reading all these responses and after what I have experienced in this relationship with my current girlfriend, I now finally understand why people who don't have kids should only date people who don't have kids, and single parents should only date single parents.
That is a good question. I honestly was not going to marry anyone. I even told my girlfriend last week that if we had never met, I would still be single.
You are still single.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous51
... I now finally understand why people who don't have kids should only date people who don't have kids, and single parents should only date single parents.
A glittering generality. The thread is about YOU and YOUR situation which doesn't apply to everyone. In your case, yes, you would (in my opinion) be far better off dating single women as you're not yet sufficiently mature to understand the intricacies involved in dating women with children - and certainly not insecure women with multiple offspring.
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