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Danger, danger. You already know the answer or you wouldn't have written.
Let's just say this guy is totally normal, and you are a flake who is too attached to her dogs, and doesn't know how to dress without someone telling you. It still wouldn't work out.
Try a little experiment if you are wondering if he loves you. Quietly ignore his request to remove your dog pictures. Allow your dogs to continue being happy little pets in your home.
(I can't imagine someone not liking how a dog follows you around the house!!!)
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
Wow. I know victim blaming culture is very common on this forum, but I didn't expect such ignorance from you.
It isn't ignorance. She said he didnt ask her to get rid of the dog. She did it herself to do what she thought would make him happy. That is on her. She is going out of her way to be a doormat
She isn't really a victim, she is letting this happen, even promoting it. It sounds like she is inviting it. Its a mental health issue. You can blame the guy. Yeah, he's an azzhole most likely, but any self respecting, strong, independent woman that is capable of taking care of herself wouldn't have done anything but tell him to kiss off.
I finally met someone to whom I am very attracted; we've been dating for four months. It's a much better fit for me than any of the other guys I've dated in the past year since my separation/divorce. He's much more vocal than anyone I've ever been with as far as his likes/dislikes. I have changed several things about my appearance (small things) and lifestyle for him.
The small things I've done include enhancing my eye makeup, wearing certain color underclothing, certain types of clothing (dressier) etc. One of the biggest things concerns my dogs. I am a HUGE dog lover, and animal lover in general. He is not. My dogs get on his nerves (they are all small dogs). He doesn't want to hear them bark, doesn't like them on the furniture/bed, and it bothers him that they follow me around the house. He doesn't even like the dog pictures that are in my bedroom. I am changing them out today.
In order to make it work with him, which I very much want to do, I rehomed one rescue I had, and am probably going to rehome another dog I have. I'll then have only two dogs (which is more manageable, I admit). Then I am going to hire a trainer to help me with the barking issues and guide me in the best way to transition getting them off of the funiture/bed.
I do consider this a compromise for us, because I am giving up things and changing things, and he is willing to adjust to living with dogs in the house. This is a HUGE lifestyle change for me, and not one that I would do for just anyone. I would probably tell anyone else to take a hike. But I have such a connection with him physically and emotionally, that I really do want it to last.
My question is, how much should a person change who they are in order to please their significant other? I know that successful relationships include a lot of give and take. But I don't want to "lose myself" and who I am. At what point is going too far in trying to change the person you are involved with?
Everyone here needs to take YOUR post as an example of a female in her feminine with a man in his masculine. When was the last time you argued with this man? Probably never. You're dressing up, you're compromising, yes you're interest is very high. He is a man in his masculine, from the way you explained. This is causing you to be in your feminine, and you secretly love this.
Training your dogs not to bark and not get on the furniture is a great step, because you're meeting him half way.
Everyone here needs to take YOUR post as an example of a female in her feminine with a man in his masculine. When was the last time you argued with this man? Probably never. You're dressing up, you're compromising, yes you're interest is very high. He is a man in his masculine, from the way you explained. This is causing you to be in your feminine, and you secretly love this.
Training your dogs not to bark and not get on the furniture is a great step, because you're meeting him half way.
Her post is an example of a female being a doormat...nothing more.
I guess if you feel that woman should sacrifice and men should be demanding a-holes, then you can call it whatever else you want...but in my world, she's just being foolish.
Her post is an example of a female being a doormat...nothing more.
I guess if you feel that woman should sacrifice and men should be demanding a-holes, then you can call it whatever else you want...but in my world, she's just being foolish.
She's not a doormat she's highly attracted to him because he is in his masculine core. He isn't being demanding he's telling her what he doesn't like and laying down the law, he has a backbone. Something most guys nowadays do not have. Whether or not she's being foolish is a logical response, were talking about attraction here.
She's not a doormat she's highly attracted to him because he is in his masculine core. He isn't being demanding he's telling her what he doesn't like and laying down the law, he has a backbone. Something most guys nowadays do not have. Whether or not she's being foolish is a logical response, were talking about attraction here.
What in blue blazes are you talking about? Masculine core???
I don't think the OP answered the question of if he is willing to change anything for her - or if she even asked him to change.
She's not a doormat she's highly attracted to him because he is in his masculine core.
Is this the new catch phrase? Kind of like "normal knowledge"??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frayzer
He isn't being demanding he's telling her what he doesn't like and laying down the law, he has a backbone. Something most guys nowadays do not have. Whether or not she's being foolish is a logical response, were talking about attraction here.
Yeah, and the bolded is EXACTLY the reason that she is a fool. They are dating...he isn't her father. Laying down the law? For real? LMAO
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy*
Yeah, and the bolded is EXACTLY the reason that she is a fool. They are dating...he isn't her father. Laying down the law? For real? LMAO
Honestly, I hope I wouldn't be like this when dating, but wouldn't have any respect for a woman that acted like a doormat like this. If I tried to manipulate/change her, a woman I'd be into would tell me to kiss off... I hope.
Of course, we're not sure how this is all happening. I have my suspicions from some things she said.
But if, lets say, she's wearing red more because he mentions "I like that color on you" it is one thing. If she is wearing more red because he said something like "I don't like that color on you, wear the red one, I like that", it is a COMPLETELY different scenario. The latter is completely out of line and the sign of an azzhole.
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