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I decided to up my game and be more assertive on OkCupid. I have a profile that I recently put back up because I moved to a new area. I re-worked my profile to make it clear, concise, interesting, and not 10 paragraphs long.
In the last 48 hours I have messaged 5 men with simple messages, but showing I have read their profile and mentioning things I like and/or areas we have in common and asked open ended questions. All of them are 80%+ matches with me, and no, I'm not reaching above my "level."
Of course, none of them have messaged me back, even though 4/5 have been online in the last 24 hours. Not even a "Thanks, not interested." For the record, I respond to every message I get except for the obnoxious "DTF?" ones. I sent messages to 2 other men this month, and neither of them responded either.
So I'm just posting this to point that when guys complain that women never contact, please keep in mind that some of us do and we get the same silence that you get, even when we send nice messages.
My area has zero churn on POF and OkCupid is a ghost town. It’s pretty sad when you see people that have been on there for three years without a single profile update. It’s like the rubbish left over after the great Gemco sellout of the 80’s.
I did ok with online dating. One summer I pushed myself to have 30 dates in 30 days. I hated first dates and awkward meetings. After the first week I really got to see how I interacted with people and I got over my fear. I didn't sleep with anyone, but it was an awesome way to get over my fears and see just how nervous everyone is on a first date. Now I'm in a stable long term relationship, but that was only because I got my confidence and learned how to talk to people.
After my first two weeks of 30 days 30 dates, I had a few dates where I stopped the guy and said, "Ok lemme tell you what you're doing wrong here." Some guys wanted the feedback, some didn't. But I hope I helped others.
My area has zero churn on POF and OkCupid is a ghost town. It’s pretty sad when you see people that have been on there for three years without a single profile update. It’s like the rubbish left over after the great Gemco sellout of the 80’s.
That's how it is in my area. I can put my profile back up after a 9 month break and 70% of the profiles I had already seen and had no interest in. It's very hard when your area doesn't churn many profiles.
I decided to up my game and be more assertive on OkCupid. I have a profile that I recently put back up because I moved to a new area. I re-worked my profile to make it clear, concise, interesting, and not 10 paragraphs long.
In the last 48 hours I have messaged 5 men with simple messages, but showing I have read their profile and mentioning things I like and/or areas we have in common and asked open ended questions. All of them are 80%+ matches with me, and no, I'm not reaching above my "level."
Of course, none of them have messaged me back, even though 4/5 have been online in the last 24 hours. Not even a "Thanks, not interested." For the record, I respond to every message I get except for the obnoxious "DTF?" ones. I sent messages to 2 other men this month, and neither of them responded either.
So I'm just posting this to point that when guys complain that women never contact, please keep in mind that some of us do and we get the same silence that you get, even when we send nice messages.
Oh well, back the drawing board!
Maybe it would help to know what you looked like before I could comment on what the problem might be.
Maybe it would help to know what you looked like before I could comment on what the problem might be.
Yeah I was going to second that. I have not heard of women who are have nice slender bodies and a pretty faces having these problems.....so.........yeah....no offense. I think seeing what you looked like would help significantly from a male standpoint.
Have to agree with the last two posts. OP is probably average looking at best. Decent looking girls would be getting responses to her messages. Maybe not every single one, but I'd wager at least half. If you're only average looking or below, you're going to have send out more messages to get that response. 5-10 messages isn't enough. Guys often send out way more just to get one response. You're just going to have to suck it up and keep trying.
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