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I absolutely can know if there's chemistry from looks. I don't know if we'll get along though and our personalities will mesh. That's different. That's personality, not chemistry.
No it's not, that's chemistry. Looking at a woman and thinking, "I'd do her" isn't the same thing. Chemistry doesn't even have to be sexual. People can have great chemistry with their coworkers and friends and siblings.
Online dating is a pure numbers game. It's entirely like applying for a job.
Have a set message ready (around 2-3 paragraphs introducing yourself and some filler for a specific lady's profile). Spam that message to every woman on the website that you find semi-attractive.
On the guy's side, expect a return of around 1 in 50 or so messages. Not sure about the woman's side.
Also, paid websites have substantially higher female count than free ones. OKC's assertion that dating websites shouldn't charge people is bull****; free websites results in flakers and fake accounts who clog up the system.
Absolute best system for a man to get a date on a site. Pure honesty. Women will all get ficky about that and not understand it unfortunately and look down upon it. It's the only way you're going to get any dates and have a chance of finding someone if you're an average joe. Women are super picky.
No it's not, that's chemistry. Looking at a woman and thinking, "I'd do her" isn't the same thing. Chemistry doesn't even have to be sexual. People can have great chemistry with their coworkers and friends and siblings.
That's not sexual chemistry. You don't have sexual chemistry with siblings
"I'd do her" IS basic sexual attraction that needs to be there as base and vulgar as that sounds. Of course some guys just want to play around. Talking about something different now.
Then how come guys end up with a women who wants to be best friends with them, but is disgusted at thought of sexual relationship with him? NO chemistry/spark/sexual attraction. So yes "I'd do her/him" is absolutely sexual chemistry. Whether that sexual chemistry turns into a LTR is another matter entirely.
LOL. Great comparison, because neither dating nor finding a job is a numbers game. They're the exact opposite.
The rest of your post is why so many guys get response rates under 30-40%.
You're absolutely wrong timberline. I've done online dating and have had multiple g/fs off of it. The technique of mass emailing is the only thing that works and will get you the most dates. I've done the personalized long emails and it does not work. Response rate was terrible. Response rate was same with mass emails, but I actually got more replies since I sent out so many emails! Women look at your pics and make a quick decision. MOst can't even be bothered to email back if they think you're ugly. It comes down to looks and whether you are middle class college educated which really helps as well
You don't seem to understand that it can be hard for a man to find a woman that thinks he's attractive. That's why putting out a ****load of first emails is SOOOO important. You're putting yourself out there. That's all it is. It's JUST A FIRST EMAIL. Otherwise you will quickly get demoralized, have no dates, finally get one date and of course she thinks there's no chemistry! LOL! Women tend to find chemistry/attraction with the same guys. That's reality.
I have a life and don't have time to send out 50 long personalized emails a day. That is the best technique for me and any other average guy that has trouble with women wanting them
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikelizard860
Then how come guys end up with a women who wants to be best friends with them, but is disgusted at thought of sexual relationship with him?
Does this happen to you? Doesn't happen to me that I can recall.
Sexual chemistry is something else entirely. Wasn't talking about sexual chemistry.
Just chemistry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikelizard860
You're absolutely wrong timberline. I've done online dating and have had multiple g/fs off of it. The technique of mass emailing is the only thing that works and will get you the most dates. I've done the personalized long emails and it does not work. Women look at your pics and make a quick decision. MOst can't even be bothered to email back if they think you're ugly.
What works for me and for most of my guy friends is writing a good profile and responding to the women that message me. And very selectively writing women. Maybe one a week, if that.
I don't earn much. Bald as doorknob. Not very good looking. And yet, when I was doing OLD, had no problem getting responses 40% or so of the time and dates from them a fair chunk of those times.
Just like job searching. Selectively targeting companies and positions. Crafting an approach through connections, informational interviews, and writing high quality cover letters and emails... just mass mailing resumes doesn't do the trick for the good jobs. Most are never even posted.
I absolutely can know if there's chemistry from looks. I don't know if we'll get along though and our personalities will mesh. That's different. That's personality, not chemistry. Women can feel chemistry from "hello" or within 30 seconds. What exactly is that a mix of? There's no way that's enough time to figure out a person's personality. It's a biological reaction to his body/language/posture/sound of his voice/looks/vibe/feeling. You can't put your finger on it, but it's there. That's classic animal mating INSTINCT. You can't rationalize it, but you feel it. This instinct is more pronounced in women. Men are more visual. These are all superficial aspects of "chemistry"/attraction. Women are much more oriented towards this type of in person feeling/attraction then men are generally. For me personally and vast majority of men I know, attraction is based on looks, nice body, nice smile, legs/ how thin/curves ect. Then it becomes personality. Does this person get my jokes? Do we get along?
Would we be friends if we weren't attracted to each other is my biggest question. That actually is the complete opposite of how women view chemistry/spark. They will friend zone a guy they really like and get along with because they have no sexual attraction to them if though they get along great. The chemistry is seprate for a women from the friendship. It's a "feeling" they have almost immediately in most cases and in my cases it blinds them to what the guy is really about. "lust" can make you not see things clearly.
But to me and others here "chemistry" takes a bit more than a "hello" to figure out. It's the whole picture of the person. Figuring out if everything meshes. And it takes time, but you can get a feeling for it on a first date (especially if it's not there).
But to me and others here "chemistry" takes a bit more than a "hello" to figure out. It's the whole picture of the person. Figuring out if everything meshes. And it takes time, but you can get a feeling for it on a first date (especially if it's not there).
Love, lust, chemistry, physical good looks, are all very very different things. I have no idea why people seem to think they're the same.
And since you have ZERO idea if there will be chemisty, what's wrong with mass emailing and just saying hi? It's no different than walking into a bar so everyone can see you. Women will likely not see you unless you email them. There's a ton of guys on there
Does this happen to you? Doesn't happen to me that I can recall.
Sexual chemistry is something else entirely. Wasn't talking about sexual chemistry.
Just chemistry.
What works for me and for most of my guy friends is writing a good profile and responding to the women that message me. And very selectively writing women. Maybe one a week, if that.
I don't earn much. Bald as doorknob. Not very good looking. And yet, when I was doing OLD, had no problem getting responses 40% or so of the time and dates from them a fair chunk of those times.
Just like job searching. Selectively targeting companies and positions. Crafting an approach through connections, informational interviews, and writing high quality cover letters and emails... just mass mailing resumes doesn't do the trick for the good jobs. Most are never even posted.
So you're technique is waiting for girls to message you? LOL....Well you must be great looking! You really think that's good advice for men having trouble getting a date? That's like saying wait for a job to call you and don't send out resumes
I'm lucky if I get one first email once a month and it's usually from someone I have zero attraction to(ie BBW)
That would be worst strategy I could use.
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