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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL
Im always shocked at how some women in city data paint men as if they were devils that only use women for sex and then throw them away. And how they recomend women to keep to themselves and dont "give up" on sex, cause they could be percived as "easy".
As if men were that mean and retarded! seriously...
Some men in city data agree with this concept as well. I guess mostly is people who keep failing at relationships with *******s men or women and keep assuming the rest is the same.
Women love sex as much as men (or more, imo). Men love women as much as women do men (or more, imo). Men want serious realtionships as much as women do (or more, imo).
So please stop this nonsense.
If a guy does not like you, he will not call again. Not because you gave him sex too son, just because he didnt like you. Giving up sex is not bad per se. It is actually GOOD if they guy likes you. If he likes you, he will be deliighted to have sex with you many times and will fall in love.
Agreed on all accounts. I fell hard after sleeping the first time with a woman I met last year. Doesn't happen all the time to me, of course, but it does happen. We went out a few more times, I was really into her. She dropped me like a hot potato and I saw her out with two different guys over the next month. Sucked. But, thems the breaks. I guess I didn't rock her world. If I did, we'd have kept hanging I'm sure.
Im always shocked at how some women in city data paint men as if they were devils that only use women for sex and then throw them away. And how they recomend women to keep to themselves and dont "give up" on sex, cause they could be percived as "easy".
As if men were that mean and retarded! seriously...
Some men in city data agree with this concept as well. I guess mostly is people who keep failing at relationships with *******s men or women and keep assuming the rest is the same.
Women love sex as much as men (or more, imo). Men love women as much as women do men (or more, imo). Men want serious realtionships as much as women do (or more, imo).
So please stop this nonsense.
If a guy does not like you, he will not call again. Not because you gave him sex too son, just because he didnt like you. Giving up sex is not bad per se. It is actually GOOD if they guy likes you. If he likes you, he will be deliighted to have sex with you many times and will fall in love.
And tell me again why it is a good idea to become intimate with a stranger, who after intimacy feels completely comfortable with treating you as casually as they choose...since after all you were a stranger. Don't try to BUY a man's love with sex. You can sugarcoat as much as you want, rationalize all you want, but if you feel pressure to become intimate early and give into that pressure? You're attempting to buy the man's affections with sex. It. WONT. WORK.
Yes, women love sex as much as men do...but strive for a balance of power. If you are left feeling vulnerable, which trips a switch in most women's heads to pursue the man, this just makes things worse for her.
I don't think it really matters if there's chemistry/attraction if you come on too strong too quickly. If he knows you feel that strongly about him without giving him a chance to earn your affections, it could quite possibly scare him off. He might think you're desperate, or he might feel pressure to come up to your 'level' before he's ready. Guys aren't usually as in touch with their emotions as women so sometimes there's a sort of 'warming up' period where they have to figure out what they want.
Behaving this way will only result in you being used for sex and discarded... I suppose there are some more gentlemanly men out there who will just dump you before taking advantage, but I'd say the majority will wait until after the sex to do it, mostly because they're supposed to want it and they don't have to face the stigma that women do.
Nobody wants someone that anyone can get... they want to know they're different, special/etc. They want to feel like this is something you've never experienced before, that it's really special and unique. This goes for men and women equally, I think.
The easy girl is basically the female equivalent of the bad boy. You probably get a lot of sex, but ultimately you get no respect from the opposite sex.
Women don't want to marry the bad boys, they just want to be seduced by them because it means they don't have to admit they just wanted to get laid with no strings attached... and then later they can act all pissed off and upset even though they knew exactly what was happening (unless they're complete idiots). It's about pretending to be virtuous in the same way some men pretend sleeping with a lot of women makes them feel happy instead of hopeless and empty, unless they're sociopaths.
The way out of this is to look at the whole picture, temper your emotions with rationality, and not just assume that having chemistry together is going to lead to a functional relationship, or even that it has any deep, profound meaning at all. It's sort of like shopping... be realistic about your budget (ie: social currency), your needs, your wants, your lifestyle, what you can and can't do without... and try to find the best overall match for you. Being a slave to your hormones is only going to bring you misery.
The way out of this is to look at the whole picture, temper your emotions with rationality, and not just assume that having chemistry together is going to lead to a functional relationship, or even that it has any deep, profound meaning at all. It's sort of like shopping... be realistic about your budget (ie: social currency), your needs, your wants, your lifestyle, what you can and can't do without... and try to find the best overall match for you. Being a slave to your hormones is only going to bring you misery.
I was with you up to the last paragraph and just want to point out that chemistry is not only sexual. My husband and I have incredible chemistry, have had so since the night we met and began chatting at a Christmas party. I really can't articulate the feeling, other than it was like an unseen force drawing us to each other, in the way we think, communicate, interact with each other. It goes much much further and deeper than just the bedroom.
chemistry, is a bit of a vague concept. There are guys who can create chemistry, with almost every and any woman they please. Not kidding.
Yep my friends like that really good looking and sociable can make connections with almost any women easy even the married women in our circle crush on him and have come close to crossing the line
It's kinda scary if u have a certain good look and power of seduction that most women wont be able to resist even if there married
I don't think it really matters if there's chemistry/attraction if you come on too strong too quickly. If he knows you feel that strongly about him without giving him a chance to earn your affections, it could quite possibly scare him off. He might think you're desperate, or he might feel pressure to come up to your 'level' before he's ready. Guys aren't usually as in touch with their emotions as women so sometimes there's a sort of 'warming up' period where they have to figure out what they want.
Behaving this way will only result in you being used for sex and discarded... I suppose there are some more gentlemanly men out there who will just dump you before taking advantage, but I'd say the majority will wait until after the sex to do it, mostly because they're supposed to want it and they don't have to face the stigma that women do.
Nobody wants someone that anyone can get... they want to know they're different, special/etc. They want to feel like this is something you've never experienced before, that it's really special and unique. This goes for men and women equally, I think.
The easy girl is basically the female equivalent of the bad boy. You probably get a lot of sex, but ultimately you get no respect from the opposite sex.
Women don't want to marry the bad boys, they just want to be seduced by them because it means they don't have to admit they just wanted to get laid with no strings attached... and then later they can act all pissed off and upset even though they knew exactly what was happening (unless they're complete idiots). It's about pretending to be virtuous in the same way some men pretend sleeping with a lot of women makes them feel happy instead of hopeless and empty, unless they're sociopaths.
The way out of this is to look at the whole picture, temper your emotions with rationality, and not just assume that having chemistry together is going to lead to a functional relationship, or even that it has any deep, profound meaning at all. It's sort of like shopping... be realistic about your budget (ie: social currency), your needs, your wants, your lifestyle, what you can and can't do without... and try to find the best overall match for you. Being a slave to your hormones is only going to bring you misery.
Thanks for this post. I completely agree that I should have allowed him to earn my affection first. I'm not desperate by any means, if anything I'm really selective. But I let my hormones control me and didn't listen to my head and I ended up getting hurt. I'm glad I realized my mistake now so I know for the future.
Dang! You've been reading PUA shyte again, haven't you?
The much easier, and much more successful, way to build chemistry is to be frank, open, and honest, and to target women who you honestly feel attracted to by things beyond the visual.
Pick up artistry is for DB's who lacked normal social skills during their high school and college years and are attempting to make it up by becoming legends in their own mind. Complete and total seduction isn't about getting laid.
On rare occasions, I've been out with someone totally incompatible that I can't talk to.
However, if I get on a roll, I can keep a good conversation going with almost any woman and maker her laugh - not like a comedian or anything, but they always laugh with me. I don't know how I do it, I just do. I like to think it's a virtue of being intelligent and noticing things they say or do to talk about.
I actually consider it a duty to to treat the person I'm with to the best time possible regardless of how attracted I am, so I've rarely been on first dates that didn't go on for at least 2-3 hours, usually I notice 2-3 sets of people cycle through the normal ordering process before we leave. That does not mean she passed the "I want to see her naked" test.
You may think there is chemistry because he gets along with you, but it's not always reciprocated, it may just be politeness. As for the OP's situation, despite him making out with her, what was going through his head was obviously not what was going on through hers. In reality, though, there could be 100 reasons for people flaking out like that after a few weeks so it's impossible to tell.
Oh, and whether or not a woman "gives up sex" early has always been irrelevant to me. If I like being around her, I'm going to want to be around her whether sex happens or not. Sex in a reasonable amount of time is definitely a plus, though. Some people have stupid high school ideas on here.
Last edited by redguard57; 08-28-2014 at 04:42 PM..
On rare occasions, I've been out with someone totally incompatible that I can't talk to.
However, if I get on a roll, I can keep a good conversation going with almost any woman and maker her laugh - not like a comedian or anything, but they always laugh with me. I don't know how I do it, I just do. I like to think it's a virtue of being intelligent and noticing things they say or do to talk about.
I actually consider it a duty to to treat the person I'm with to the best time possible regardless of how attracted I am, so I've rarely been on first dates that didn't go on for at least 2-3 hours, usually I notice 2-3 sets of people cycle through the normal ordering process before we leave. That does not mean she passed the "I want to see her naked" test.
You may think there is chemistry because he gets along with you, but it's not always reciprocated, it may just be politeness. As for the OP's situation, despite him making out with her, what was going through his head was obviously not what was going on through hers. In reality, though, there could be 100 reasons for people flaking out like that after a few weeks so it's impossible to tell.
Yeah, I'm a woman, and I can keep my dates entertained for hours. I don't judge our chemistry by how much they laugh. Objectively speaking, I'm a pretty funny person. Most people like spending time with me. They may not want to sleep with me, but they usually enjoy the time they spend with me.
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