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It's all about creating an illusion, fanning desires, being an escape from the ordinary/mundane, and knowing when to show strength and vulnerability, all the while not being too accessible or too easy to figure out. Tall task, I know. Being able to read people is paramount as well.
Dang! You've been reading PUA shyte again, haven't you?
The much easier, and much more successful, way to build chemistry is to be frank, open, and honest, and to target women who you honestly feel attracted to by things beyond the visual.
I think it's not really worth dwelling on. If the guy isn't the love of your life, then move on. If you are truly in love with him, tell him and see what happens.
I didn't love him by any means. We only dated for like 5 weeks, so it was lust. I guess it wasn't meant to be.
This is my view on it too. If only one person feels it, it was never really "chemistry." Doesn't mean one perosn didn't feel strongly or their love wasn't real. It just means there was no chemistry between the two people. I've had this happen to me too (where I had strong feelings and thought there was something) but it turned out I was wrong. It happens and you just have to move on.
Yes.
I also like to think about where I was mistaken. What did I see/experience that led me to think we had a connection when we didn't? It's useful for the future.
Why would you be upset? You can't force feelings, nor should you!
Oh trust me I would never do that.
What I am saying is....I would like to at experience a relationship where both of us feel the same way about each other.
All my semi "romantic" encounters have all been one sided. It's frustrating. I would never in a million years try to force myself to feel anything for anyone. That's pointless. I would just hate to leave to leave this world not knowing at all what it's like to have an intimate bond with someone.
What I am saying is....I would like to at experience a relationship where both of us feel the same way about each other.
All my semi "romantic" encounters have all been one sided. It's frustrating. I would never in a million years try to force myself to feel anything for anyone. That's pointless. I would just hate to leave to leave this world not knowing at all what it's like to have an intimate bond with someone.
That's really all it is.
And the bold section is what most of us are frustrated about, which goes back to why it's so important to make sure you can take care of yourself. One sided romance is never any fun and I've had more than I can count. It's hard to not have the feeling that you won't meet someone to where you both feel the same way about each other, and you're both in a situation to make a relationship work.
You might have slept with him too soon. Sex bonds women to men but does not work the opposite way. Many men, despite what they may say, lose interest in girls that give it up too easy and don't present any challenge. Men tend to value what they have to earn, especially if they are the type of guy who gets women easily. I had to learn this the hard way after decades of making the same mistakes. The guy would love getting intimate with me, but would eventually dump me for a girl who made the man treat them a certain way and didn't take any crap nor fall for them too easily.
Look at George Clooney....the man who said he would never get married, who has dated some really beautiful women, finally proposed....to the woman who said "no" to his requests for dates for months, and he had to chase her.
lol, this is so not true. Do you live in a movie from the 50s?
You may have had a few bad experiences with men like this, but the majority of men arent like this at all. They dont care about "chasing" some idiot woman, they too look for a nice, smart, caring, funny, good looking person that loves them back.
They are not robots or devils.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL
lol, this is so not true. Do you live in a movie from the 50s?
You may have had a few bad experiences with men like this, but the majority of men arent like this at all. They dont care about "chasing" some idiot woman, they too look for a nice, smart, caring, funny, good looking person that loves them back.
They are not robots or devils.
Im always shocked at how some women in city data paint men as if they were devils that only use women for sex and then throw them away. And how they recomend women to keep to themselves and dont "give up" on sex, cause they could be percived as "easy".
As if men were that mean and retarded! seriously...
Some men in city data agree with this concept as well. I guess mostly is people who keep failing at relationships with *******s men or women and keep assuming the rest is the same.
Women love sex as much as men (or more, imo). Men love women as much as women do men (or more, imo). Men want serious realtionships as much as women do (or more, imo).
So please stop this nonsense.
If a guy does not like you, he will not call again. Not because you gave him sex too son, just because he didnt like you. Giving up sex is not bad per se. It is actually GOOD if they guy likes you. If he likes you, he will be deliighted to have sex with you many times and will fall in love.
This has always mystified me. I tend not to be attracted to men who aren't attracted to me. And on two occasions, men who said they didn't love me were lying. For their own effed up reasons.
One knew he couldn't be the partner I needed and wanted to save himself from the pain - which led him into a horrible marriage.
The other was scared that his love for me would give me too much power. Amusingly, he is now with a woman who holds all the power in their relationship.
But having them tell me they didn't love me when they did was seriously confusing. I mean, ultimately, I'm glad I'm not with either of those guys, but I was doubting all my perceptions of reality.
With my last boyfriend, I recognized when the relationship had ended long before he did. He clearly wasn't feeling the attraction any longer, but we had a lot of fun together, so he tried to keep it going. When he broke up with me, I ended up comforting him. Not sure why I didn't end it first - I was hoping it was a phase, I guess.
OP, the attraction and chemistry may have been real, but those things can change. And sometimes they ahve nothing to do with the actual relationship - he may have just felt it wasn't working for other reasons. Unless there was a clear screw-up on your part, I would just let it go.
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