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Very often we women "feel chemistry" because we like the man for whatever reason. Men have a tendency to fake chemistry, especially when they know that we like them, for their own sexual pleasure. We could probably tone down our emotions so that it is not so obvious. Been there with the one-sided chemistry thing.
When he started talking sex early on, I realized that I had "chemistry" all over my face.
This really isn't gender specific. Some women are just as good at wrapping guys around their fingers. Basically, some of us are just very good at saying exactly what you want to hear.
It's all about creating an illusion, fanning desires, being an escape from the ordinary/mundane, and knowing when to show strength and vulnerability, all the while not being too accessible or too easy to figure out. Tall task, I know. Being able to read people is paramount as well.
Obviously a lot of folks projecting their feelings onto others. I'd bet a third party would recognize it when you yourself cannot (in regards to "one way chem" which as others have stated, doesn't exist by definition).
Last edited by Philosophizer; 08-28-2014 at 10:33 AM..
Something would be wrong with you more if you liked every good person you met. You can't sleep with the entire world.
Whoa whoa...never said that I wanted to do that. o.O
But you do have a point......what I was saying is that I would be upset if I found out I couldn't like anyone else for the rest of my life. That is what I am afraid of.
This is actually a good question. I have been there before, where I thought both of us were really feeling it, and that we were on the same page, and then Blam!! You get the, I felt no spark. It's one thing when you are feeling someone, but you can tell, they are not on the same page with you, that's fine, but when you see them so happy to be around you, talking to you for hours, going out of their way to make plans with you, and then to say that, it does come off confusing and a little hurt to the ego.
Very often we women "feel chemistry" because we like the man for whatever reason. Men have a tendency to fake chemistry, especially when they know that we like them, for their own sexual pleasure. We could probably tone down our emotions so that it is not so obvious. Been there with the one-sided chemistry thing.
When he started talking sex early on, I realized that I had "chemistry" all over my face.
Ah, this. I think I really liked him and made it too obvious from the start because I really couldn't help it. I think being more mysterious is better.
This is actually a good question. I have been there before, where I thought both of us were really feeling it, and that we were on the same page, and then Blam!! You get the, I felt no spark. It's one thing when you are feeling someone, but you can tell, they are not on the same page with you, that's fine, but when you see them so happy to be around you, talking to you for hours, going out of their way to make plans with you, and then to say that, it does come off confusing and a little hurt to the ego.
This sort of thing has happened to everyone at one time or another. It's one of life's mysteries.
OP, I think he liked you, enjoyed your company, and was attracted to you, but didn't feel the same emotional connection that you did. He did the right thing and bowed out. It sucks, but it happens. Being "more mysterious" may have prolonged the inevitable, but ultimately it wouldn't have changed things. It's better to just be yourself and not play those games, anyway.
Can chemistry be felt by only one person? I started seeing a guy a few months ago and halfway through our first date I knew that I liked him. I was instantly drawn in. When he leaned in to kiss me I felt like an electric rush. I've never experienced what that's like before, to actually desire somebody. We dated a few weeks but he eventually broke it off and I'm just confused because I really thought we had that "spark". We got intimate every time we hung out so I know there was something sexual between us. Am I confusing attraction with chemistry? He told me he didn't feel as strongly about me as I did about him.
You might have slept with him too soon. Sex bonds women to men but does not work the opposite way. Many men, despite what they may say, lose interest in girls that give it up too easy and don't present any challenge. Men tend to value what they have to earn, especially if they are the type of guy who gets women easily. I had to learn this the hard way after decades of making the same mistakes. The guy would love getting intimate with me, but would eventually dump me for a girl who made the man treat them a certain way and didn't take any crap nor fall for them too easily.
Look at George Clooney....the man who said he would never get married, who has dated some really beautiful women, finally proposed....to the woman who said "no" to his requests for dates for months, and he had to chase her.
OP, I think he liked you, enjoyed your company, and was attracted to you, but didn't feel the same emotional connection that you did. He did the right thing and bowed out. It sucks, but it happens. Being "more mysterious" may have prolonged the inevitable, but ultimately it wouldn't have changed things. It's better to just be yourself and not play those games, anyway.
Absolutely right. Why waste your time being mysterious when the same outcome will happen just at a later date? I absolutely agree with just being yourself and hoping for the best. Someone will like you, and if no one comes around that likes you as much as you like them, keep pressing forward in your personal life. By sitting around and waiting on another person to get you to the next level, you miss out on a lot of things you can do on your own.
I may not have a partner now, but I do have my career and financial stability to fall back on. That's very important to me, since I've been on the other side of the coin before too.
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