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No, I'm definitely talking about the same thing that the men are talking about. I think that's the issue. Men don't seem to be understanding the actual definition of objectification. The OP wants us to consider a girl grabbing his butt at a bar to be equal to the same experiences as women being objectified. It's not.
Some men keep asserting that they would feel flattering by being "objectified." I think your illustration of singing in a bikini is right on point. If they were doing a job they were proud of, and a woman commended them not on the job well done but on the bulge in their pants, I think they would feel offended.
A good example is in the movie Horrible Bosses, when Charlie Day's character was repeatedly harassed by Jennifer Aniston's character. It's humorous to think "Oh yeah, I'd love for a woman like Jennifer Aniston to objectify me," but when it comes down to potentially having your career and relationships tainted because of the person's behavior, that's a totally different ballgame.
As for never being in an unsafe situation, of course I have felt threatened by sexual advances at some point. That's what I was talking about before about why some men may have a different perspective. They've never seen that level of threat, so they consider an ass grab from a drunken co-ed to be the extent of objectification.
The guy in Horrible Bosses was a fudge packer. If I had a boss that looked like Jennifer Aniston and she was coming on to me, I would take her home and give her what she wanted and blow her back out. And then come back to work like nothing happen.
And yet many women that haven't even had orgasms still love having sex. I have run into that, especially in my 20s. Hopefully they've figured it out.
And there is a reason there are so so very many sex toys designed for women. It isn't because a significant percentage don't like sex. Shoot, it isn't uncommon to see $500 worth of gadgets in a beside table nowadays.
Anyway, I stand by my positions. Individuals differ quite a bit. Genders overall? Not so much.
Many women who never orgasm like sex, I realize this. Regardless, I am a lucky bastard - my wife wants it as much as me most of the time and sometimes more.
However, I have golf buddies who are constantly saying their wives are never, ever in the mood. They aren't all fat slobs, either, in fact, some of them are in very good shape. It seems the norm among the married guys I know that they never get laid - except me.
I've dated women in the past with the libido of a lawn chair. And I am on other boards where I've seen women all jump in a conversation that basically makes fun of their SO/Husband's libidos and how they're "pigs who only think about sex".
Yes, it's individual, but I think it's skewed one way quite a bit.
No, I'm definitely talking about the same thing that the men are talking about. I think that's the issue. Men don't seem to be understanding the actual definition of objectification. The OP wants us to consider a girl grabbing his butt at a bar to be equal to the same experiences as women being objectified. It's not.
Some men keep asserting that they would feel flattering by being "objectified." I think your illustration of singing in a bikini is right on point. If they were doing a job they were proud of, and a woman commended them not on the job well done but on the bulge in their pants, I think they would feel offended.
A good example is in the movie Horrible Bosses, when Charlie Day's character was repeatedly harassed by Jennifer Aniston's character. It's humorous to think "Oh yeah, I'd love for a woman like Jennifer Aniston to objectify me," but when it comes down to potentially having your career and relationships tainted because of the person's behavior, that's a totally different ballgame.
As for never being in an unsafe situation, of course I have felt threatened by sexual advances at some point. That's what I was talking about before about why some men may have a different perspective. They've never seen that level of threat, so they consider an ass grab from a drunken co-ed to be the extent of objectification.
I find your perspective interesting and for me to better understand you I would like to know what you would consider objectifying a man. In the context of this relationship forum.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDave72
However, I have golf buddies who are constantly saying their wives are never, ever in the mood. They aren't all fat slobs, either, in fact, some of them are in very good shape. It seems the norm among the married guys I know that they never get laid - except me.
I've dated women in the past with the libido of a lawn chair. And I am on other boards where I've seen women all jump in a conversation that basically makes fun of their SO/Husband's libidos and how they're "pigs who only think about sex".
That is because of the relationship. I'm the same way. If I'm not feeling close, or attractive, or in sync with my girlfriend my libido is in the tank. That is normal. I see tons of married people that interact like they're roommates. Well no sheet they're not having much, if any, sex (at least with each other).
I see a lot more women complaining that their boyfriends/husbands don't want it as much as the inverse. Generally women (again, a broad generalization) in their 40s+ want it a lot more than men, from what I see. So if there is any skewing, it is toward the women wanting it more. Which tells me there isn't really any difference between the genders at all.
I find your perspective interesting and for me to better understand you I would like to know what you would consider objectifying a man. In the context of this relationship forum.
So I just wrote about it in the post you quoted and gave some examples, but I'll try again:
Say you do a great job on a project. You have a female boss. You come in proud of the work you've done, proud that you have come so far in your career, etc. She doesn't give a **** about any of that, though. Instead she commends you on looking hot in your three piece suit. That's objectification: treating someone as an object of lust, without any consideration of his actual worth.
Yeah, I get that to men that sounds appealing on the surface, but I don't think you'd like it much if it happened again and again.
Also consider that women sometimes already have a disadvantage regarding getting the respect of men, whereas some men couldn't care less if women respect them and some already take respect as a given. Does that make sense?
The guy in Horrible Bosses was a fudge packer. If I had a boss that looked like Jennifer Aniston and she was coming on to me, I would take her home and give her what she wanted and blow her back out. And then come back to work like nothing happen.
And then have her ruin your relationship and career, stalk you, etc. You aren't getting the point, but that's not surprising for someone who uses a term like "fudge packer."
And then have her ruin your relationship and career, stalk you, etc. You aren't getting the point, but that's not surprising for someone who uses a term like "fudge packer."
I agree.... ugly term......
I know a couple of gay people and that phrase is pretty offensive...
Sorry, I posted reply too quickly. I edited my post with a better (I hope) explanation.
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