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If this story is completely real, then he is already likely having an affair.
I believe what has happened, after reading this train wreck of a thread, that you and your long term husband have had subsurface issues for a long time. Maybe he stayed with you because he saw no way out, maybe you stayed with him, for whatever reason. Even on the "blindside" relationships I've seen end, there were enormous red flags along the way.
At some point he began having an affair with this woman while she worked with him. As you said, "work crush". He asked you for a divorce previously, then Y'all worked it out, falling into your 10 year rut. Starting to move after years of lethargic behavior is like getting out of a mud rut. You move back and forth, and you come out going one way or another. I went through a relationship ending like this. I still wanted my kids to be happy. I liked feeling "normal" whatever that means. I was a lazy man who didn't want to date, didn't feel like I could date, and that no one would want me except for her.
I broke that trend and moved on.
Now she has lost her job. She is "homeless" in the aspect that she has no job and money to pay the bills that are coming due soon. So she has reached out to her boyfriend, your husband, for help. He is torn, and doesn't know which way to go.
Help him decide. Tell him its over, and he/you can move out, or he ends all contact with her.
I would suggest, to him, that he leaves you both. You're a codependent woman who uses words like "trust" and "love" to hold onto a zombie relationship, and she can not even take care of herself without relying on a man to take care of her. I say, he should be done with both of you, and you done with him.
My husband has developed a crush on his work friend, he says he wants to figure out why she is in his life yet doesn't want to break up with me. He says I need to trust him. He seems to think that God has sent him this woman and he is supposed to help her out. He said hes confused. Even through we are financially not well off he says he wants to help her out financially...since she is homeless and just lost her job. I have told him this is wrong in every way but he seems to think I am being ridiculous. The only way I even found out about her is because I saw him texting her on his phone. I am hurt from all this and can't figure out what to do, I want our relationship to work as we've been together 10 years. When I get angry about the girl it seems to push him away more, but I find it so hard to be kind and accepting of the situation. What to do???
I saw this in a movie!!! Yeah Madea!! Homeless hooker!!
He's a selfish SOB. Ask him, how he would feel if you did the same thing. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too. I wouldn't tolerate such disrespect. Good luck with your decision.
Actually, this woman never asked him for money, hes the one that just wants to help her out because of her situation. I have asked him how he would feel if I did the same thing and said he would understand (which I find unlikely). He uses the time I drove a guy home from work ( I was his manager) as comparative to what he is doing..uh no, me giving a fellow employee a ride home with no romantic intentions is not the same. He does have what I suspect to be some type of depression which is one of the reasons I have put in so much effort to trying to fix things but he refuses any help.
Yes, this situation is ridiculous and everyone's responses have helped confirm this, so thank you.
Actually, this woman never asked him for money, hes the one that just wants to help her out because of her situation. I have asked him how he would feel if I did the same thing and said he would understand (which I find unlikely). He uses the time I drove a guy home from work ( I was his manager) as comparative to what he is doing..uh no, me giving a fellow employee a ride home with no romantic intentions is not the same. He does have what I suspect to be some type of depression which is one of the reasons I have put in so much effort to trying to fix things but he refuses any help.
Yes, this situation is ridiculous and everyone's responses have helped confirm this, so thank you.
I doubt that seriously. Thats just what he is telling his wife. "I just want to help" she's asked
I would call it quits, he's basically waiting to see what plays out with her before leaving you. I guess in his defense at least he's being honest with you and not running around behind your back yet at the same time what he's asking of you is selfish and not right.
Call a divorce attorney, get your ducks in a row, and kick him out. If she's so wonderful, let her deal with his bad habits, dishonesty, and cheating ways.
nailed it
maybe he just needs a kick in the ass...that you are NOT gonna put up with this...
file for D...kick him out...make him work to get you back
he either puts in the time to fix it knowing the boundry has been set, or he doesn't
if you are a doormat and let this happen, prepare to be cheated on and be second place
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