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Exactly. Every single man that I wound up in a relationship with made it crystal clear that he wanted to see me... As much as possible. These guys that want to sit back and let the world come knocking on their door, well, good luck with that.
On the contrary, I think women want the same thing. Sit back and let the world come to them.
Maybe you've missed the several comments where I've firmly stated that I have initiated just about everything thus far, from dates to communication.
You misunderstand. I'm not blaming them. I'm saying that what they claim to want and want they actually want do not seem to match up with reality. If one presents all the traits that are claimed to be desirable and yet continues to fail, it's a reasonable conclusion to have.
And I thought all the dates were successful, too. But the women do not initiate or show very little interest when it comes to communicating. It becomes extremely one-sided. That, to me, shows a lack of interest. That's why these things end.
The person who cares the least, has the most power in a new relationship. Dominant people think they are in control, yet it is the submissive person who decides the direction the relationship will take. It never feels good to be on the receiving end of passive rejection. Stop forcing things, take your time and enjoy a woman's company.
You need to let go of this illusion about appearing clingy by letting a woman know youre into her. If she talks to you, goes out with you more than twice, then why in the hell would you think your initiating contact with her made you look unappealing if they liked you!
I'm not blaming them. I'm saying that I don't fit their mold despite having the qualities that are supposed to be attractive. There's something I'm missing or failing at. I get the chemistry argument, as I've been on some bad dates and you just knew it wasn't a good fit. But I'm also failing with the ones where there seems to be a connection between the two of us. That is not good.
In your posts you blame women. I agree in taking yourself out of the dating pool. Get a hobby, or take a class. Become an interesting person, and well rounded.
You need to let go of this illusion about appearing clingy by letting a woman know youre into her. If she talks to you, goes out with you more than twice, then why in the hell would you think your initiating contact with her made you look unappealing if they liked you!
Have you read some of the threads on here by women about clingy guys? Jillabean's threads come to mind. It's definitely something, and it's something I don't want to fall into.
But I don't want to be that clingy guy that jillabean describes in all of her posts either. There is a delicate, delicate balance here. If I'm doing all the initiating of dates AND initiating of communication, I feel like I'm being a chump and acting desperate.
I don't mind a text a day or anything like that. On the flip side, I also don't mind if a man doesn't contact me every day (at least early on). Heck, i don't expect it. I would assume he has a life outside of dating like me and things to do. It's only when we are a couple that I would expect a certain level of communication. But if he just likes to touch base and say hello every day, I am fine with that and am happy to say hello back. That's not clingy.
The clingy ones I've dated (seems like a lot recently) are over the top. Like the man who kept texting me while I was swimming laps (late this past summer). He texted me half a dozen times in the course of an hour and called and left a VM. He was upset that I wasn't calling him back... it's like he expected me to be "on demand" or something. That's the kind of thing that smothers me (and with my bad luck, the type I seem to attract for some reason).
Have you read some of the threads on here by women about clingy guys? Jillabean's threads come to mind. It's definitely something, and it's something I don't want to fall into.
If you hadn't read Jillabean's post about clingy guys, would you have contacted the woman Monday morning?
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