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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,058,884 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Yeah, okay. So where does that leave someone in their late 20s looking for a partner? Haha.
Someone else in their late 20s or early 30s, of course.
And I had LTRs in my 20s, but of course we weren't ready for marriage. Too young. We had to move for careers, or grad school, and grow up... 24 is a kid! Oh, we thought we were, but looking back, noooo wayyyy.
Someone else in their late 20s or early 30s, of course.
And I had LTRs in my 20s, but of course we weren't ready for marriage. Too young. We had to move for careers, or grad school, and grow up... 24 is a kid!
I'm not thinking about marriage right now either. Also, not everyone feels the need to go to grad school. And last, but not least, careers don't stop for LTRs just because you've reached a certain age. We'd likely face the same types of career transitions in our 30s and 40s as we would now in our 20s. If we follow that logic, then we may as well never consider a LTR.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,058,884 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
I'm not thinking about marriage right now either. Also, not everyone feels the need to go to grad school. And last, but not least, careers don't stop for LTRs just because you've reached a certain age. We'd likely face the same types of career transitions in our 30s and 40s as we would now in our 20s. If we follow that logic, then we may as well never consider a LTR.
Totally not true. The hopping around and relocation, never mind the incredible hours, do slow down considerably for most people. The 20s is when people are moving about and working crazy hours. And lots of people don't think they'll ever go to grad school in their early/mid 20s find that they need to later on to achieve their goals. I've worked with a fair number of professionals in their 20s in my last two gigs, one in public accounting where we onboard a tremendous amount each year, the other in clean tech start ups, two very different fields. Pretty much across the board the 20 somethings eschewed serious LTRs at that time, for good reason.
Totally not true. The hopping around and relocation, never mind the incredible hours, do slow down considerably for most people. The 20s is when people are moving about and working crazy hours. And lots of people don't think they'll ever go to grad school in their early/mid 20s find that they need to later on to achieve their goals. I've worked with a fair number of professionals in their 20s in my last two gigs, one in public accounting where we onboard a tremendous amount each year, the other in clean tech start ups, two very different fields. Pretty much across the board the 20 somethings eschewed serious LTRs at that time, for good reason.
Sounds like more rules to me, man. Love happens. Not saying this is it, but love happens regardless of your situation. I know a ton of people who were in LTRs and got married in their mid-20s and still made all the rest work out.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,058,884 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Sounds like more rules to me, man. Love happens. Not saying this is it, but love happens regardless of your situation. I know a ton of people who were in LTRs and got married in their mid-20s and still made all the rest work out.
Sure, it can happen (and having "love happen" is way different from relationship success), but it is the exception. It happened to my brother, and they spent years during their relationship (before and after marriage) on different continents (foreign service / peace corp careers), and then in different states (grad school) and made it work, but it is hard, and rare.
Looking for something so serious with someone so young, when you're older, I just don't think is tactically sounds. 29 is a very different place than 24. But hey, good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
This is not an excuse. People get married and into serious relationships at 24 all the time.
No they do not. A 24 year old getting married is very uncommon among the professional/educated population. Much less common than a 34 yo among educated professionals.
It's common in rural and less educated parts of the country, which is still a majority of the population, but it isn't the demographic we're talking about here.
She's like five years younger than me. It's not like I have a decade on her. But I guess it can't hurt to consider all possibilities.
The 5-year age difference is much more significant in your 20s than it is when you're both a little older. Of course, there are always exceptions (at 24 I was in a relationship with a 34-year-old), but generally a 24-year-old and a 29-year-old will be in two very different places in life/mindsets. Of course, we cannot know for sure that's what's going on here. But I suspect she is not spending hours each day analyzing things between you two.
No they do not. A 24 year old getting married is very uncommon. Much less common than a 34 yo among educated professionals.
I don't know what you consider an "educated professional," but I have many coworkers with at least a four year degree who got married in their mid-20s and I don't live in a small town where everyone gets married young. It's not uncommon.
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