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Time for the OP to work on his personality and ability to understand the feelings and motivations of others without needing to check the manual. Perhaps some therapy that includes social coaching?
This. I still find it odd for, as he keeps reminding us, a well-experienced dater, to keep asking for advice at every turn. Flowers, yes/no? How long to keep "initiating"? Is she into me? Phone call vs. text? How much texting per week? How do I know if she's just using me for sex? Women do that these days, you know.
These are not the typical worries of an experienced, confident dater.
Stop keeping score and stop making assumptions. If you like spending time with this woman and you find her attractive, then why on earth wouldn't you pursue her? She's still replying to your messages and she's still agreeing to dates with you! It's only been a few weeks! You can cry all day long about how unfair it is women don't pursue or why the guy has to do all the work at the beginning, but it is what it is. The majority of women like a guy to pursue and do a little work to show he's really interested. You're always going to lose because for every girl you let go because she's not jumping up and down with enthusiasm about dating you, there's another guy who doesn't mind doing all the work and he's going to be the one to win her over.
The next morning after sleeping together would have been the perfect time to send her a good morning gorgeous, can't stop thinking about you text! Ladies love messages like that! I can't even imagine what she thought when you tried to play it cool the next day! Stop worrying about appearing desperate. If she really likes you she WANTS to hear from you!! You're not going to scare away someone by paying attention to them unless they weren't all that into you in the first place and at best your attention is going to make them like you all the more!
I like the guy I'm dating now so much I would walk through a burning desert to get to him on the other side, no kidding. I make him feel special any way that I can, but I definitely let him plan our first dates and take the lead at the beginning. I'm so glad he didn't have some secret rule book that disqualified me because I didn't seem excited or initiate enough. Women do initiate and do nice things for their guys once they know you are really invested in them, but that doesn't happen in just a couple weeks.
I disagree. I don't think he should date this woman anymore. Or any woman, until he gets his head together. He has shown his true personality in these 33 pages and what comes across is not very attractive or conducive to a long-term, mutually loving and respectful relationship. Just a few traits we have observed include exaggeration, dramatics, rigidity, defensiveness, hypersensitivity, anger, self-centeredness and plain, basic, lack of empathy and manners.
I also have the overriding feeling that he is not interesting or confident enough to hold a woman's attention.
Time for the OP to work on his personality and ability to understand the feelings and motivations of others without needing to check the manual. Perhaps some therapy that includes social coaching?
Did you even read through the 33 pages of this thread? I believe that I've been very polite and receptive towards you people and your advice. Are there some disagreements on some of the points? Yes, of course. That's typically what happens when people from all over the world get together to discuss topics. Yet, the point remains that I've been very polite and receptive towards you all. On the other hand, I've been ganged up on and lashed out at by a number of you. I've been called a "loser", I've been told that I sound autistic, I've been told I need therapy/social coaching, I've been called a d-bag, a dummy, etc. Some of you people are the most vindictive, condescending, rudest, catty people I have ever dealt with in my entire life. Who really needs the counselling here?
And all because of what? Did any of you even read/comprehend the OP? Because what I told you (or vented to you) is that I'm failing at building a relationship, frustrated as hell with it, and feel like throwing in the towel (because it's not pleasant feeling constant rejection). This has nothing to do with any of you, and yet you're taking it so personal. Do you honestly think I'm the only frickin' person who's dealt with this problem? Are we all autistic losers that need therapy and professional counselling? YEESH!
I have learned some valuable things from this forum's posters. But the one thing that really resonates here is how nasty and hostile human beings can be when they don't agree on something. So yeah. Tell it like it is. Get your cheap rep points from your cronies. But most of all, stay classy!
I'll never post another thread again on this forum. Best of luck chastising and brutalizing your future victims who willingly open up to you about their personal issues.
On the other hand, I've been ganged up on and lashed out at by a number of you. I've been called a "loser", I've been told that I sound autistic, I've been told I need therapy/social coaching, I've been called a d-bag, a dummy, etc. Some of you people are the most vindictive, condescending, rudest, catty people I have ever dealt with in my entire life. Who really needs the counselling here.
I've been ganged up on and lashed out at by a number of you. I've been called a "loser", I've been told that I sound autistic, I've been told I need therapy/social coaching, I've been called a d-bag, a dummy, etc. Some of you people are the most vindictive, condescending, rudest, catty people I have ever dealt with in my entire life. Who really needs the counselling here?
This. I still find it odd for, as he keeps reminding us, a well-experienced dater, to keep asking for advice at every turn. Flowers, yes/no? How long to keep "initiating"? Is she into me? Phone call vs. text? How much texting per week? How do I know if she's just using me for sex? Women do that these days, you know.
These are not the typical worries of an experienced, confident dater.
Maybe POTUS should fire his advisers. Since, you know, he's experienced and all. Why would he seek the advice from others?
As if I'm the only person to seek advice outside my own head. I'm very analytical, okay? This is my process. It is for most analytical people.
And all because of what? Did any of you even read/comprehend the OP? Because what I told you (or vented to you) is that I'm failing at building a relationship, frustrated as hell with it, and feel like throwing in the towel (because it's not pleasant feeling constant rejection). This has nothing to do with any of you, and yet you're taking it so personal. Do you honestly think I'm the only frickin' person who's dealt with this problem? Are we all autistic losers that need therapy and professional counselling? YEESH!
But fleur, you still haven't explained why you see this current situation as rejection. Where's the rejection? You haven't shown us the rejection. Why are you getting so upset over what appears to be a good, solid start? This is what we're not understanding. Throwing in the towel after a major dating success? (She had sex with you!). The readership here, as far as I can tell, is fairly unanimously puzzled as to why you feel like throwing in the towel, in the midst of dating someone who seems to be into you. There's an element of irrationality in this scenario.
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