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That goes a bit too far, IMHO. In my observation, job and education are still important women's attributes to accomplished men, but looks often supersede these, especially when the man is also at least moderately attractive. Just look at the accomplished men around you. It's easy to see.
It does exists, but I rarely see a financially successful man under 50 that is with a woman that isn't more attractive than he is unless he got with her before he had money. Unfortunately we live in a society where being with an attractive women is as much of a status symbol as driving a BMW or living in nice house is.
All I'm saying is that if the OP wishes to date a guy that makes 100k a year or more, she needs to be prepared to date down in looks or personality if she's not an above average looking lady, as any decent looking or even average looking guy with a good personality that's in that income range will typically have an attractive significant other. I work with couples all the time, and this is almost always the case.
It does exists, but I rarely see a financially successful man under 50 that is with a woman that isn't more attractive than he is unless he got with her before he had money. Unfortunately we live in a society where being with an attractive women is as much of a status symbol as driving a BMW or living in nice house is.
All I'm saying is that if the OP wishes to date a guy that makes 100k a year or more, she needs to be prepared to date down in looks or personality if she's not an above average looking lady, as any decent looking or even average looking guy with a good personality that's in that income range will typically have an attractive significant other. I work with couples all the time, and this is almost always the case.
There's an attractive girl I knew in HS that never once noticed me I just felt ignored by her. Then we met again through somebody after college and I already held a managerial job. Her sentiments towards me was much different than back in HS. My colleague that introduced us said she recently kicked her bf out her luxury apt and is shopping for a new "roommate bf."
We went out on a date and I felt like I was on an interview with her. She showed zero personality and just asked a lot of questions about my work and what type of work I do. I couldn't get her to show any down to earth qualities.
I never returned her call after that date even though she was still very good looking I just felt I don't need a trophy wife or girlfriend I need somebody that I can get intimate with deeply.
A few months later, I bumped into her at a bar after work and she was with some poor loser. She saw me and quickly ran over to me and ask me to take her elsewhere. I said "excuse me, I'm here with some buddies and I prefer being here." I looked over at that loser's face and I felt sorry for him.
Ok, I am not a woman. But I am a fairly smart old man that has seen a lot. Here is the simple answer everyone sees when they are giving advice and never see when they are analyzing their own life. Don't make any life changing decisions based on anyone other than yourself until you are married with/or without kids. Then factor in the commitment to family just like you promised you would. Since you are single, be true to yourself.
Not matter what you think or who you meet, the only one you can guarantee will be with you the rest of your life is you. So I promise you, if you pick the city and job that makes you happy, then the rest will work out. But if you put yourself second to people you haven't even met yet, you will never be completely happy and will always wonder what if.
Take the job you want, the city you want and the life you want and deserve. Your dating and marital life will take care of themselves. You take care of yourself too and all will be well.
Last edited by Miquel Westano; 03-23-2015 at 10:04 AM..
Ok, I am not a woman. But I am a fairly smart old man that has seen a lot. Here is the simple answer everyone sees when they are giving advice and never see when they are analyzing their own life. Don't make any life changing decisions based on anyone other than yourself until you are married with/or without kids. Then factor in the commitment to family just like you promised you would. Since you are single, be true to yourself.
Not matter what you think or who you meet, the only one you can guarantee will be with you the rest of your life is you. So I promise you, if you pick the city and job that makes you happy, then the rest will work out. But if you put yourself second to people you haven't even met yet, you will never be completely happy and will always wonder what if.
Take the job you want, the city you want and the life you want and deserve. Your dating and marital life will take care of themselves. You take care of yourself too and all will be well.
Awesome advice, wanted to rep you for this! Thanks
Like other human beings, women have the right to develop their talents as much as they want. If their interests and talents lie in technical skills, like engineering or IT tech, or in law, or medicine, why should anyone care? Let people do what makes them happy. If you can't handle it, look for other women. To each his/her own.
This makes me so sad. Not that men can't be free to pick the kind of woman they want. But it seems wrong, somehow.
But then again, I guess if a guy really feels that way, the woman is much better off without him. I can't imagine living a life with a man who views my skills and dreams regarding those skills as something I shouldn't have if I want to be with him.
Take the job you want, the city you want and the life you want and deserve. Your dating and marital life will take care of themselves. You take care of yourself too and all will be well.
Fantastic statement.
I recently moved to a new city that I absolutely am not enjoying. The job is new and challenging. But not worth investing years of my life into. Many beautiful women here. Yet the only thing I can think of is getting out of here as fast as possible. I purposely have turned down a few date with local women due to the fact that I know they will never consider moving to another state.
For men...I would say to head to some of the larger cities to better your chances. And know that the women will not all be the same in each city. I found the ladies to be much more approachable in NYC then where I am currently in Dallas.
As I stated earlier....location does matter when it comes to having more options available. But at the end of the day.....the above statement by Mr. Westano sums up my thoughts. Live, explore, and go to where you are happiest.
The OP's situation is a conundrum but as other people have pointed out, she is putting herself at an automatic disadvantage by insisting upon marrying up.
There is nothing wrong with standards, but they should be tethered to reality and tempered by your current situation. An income of $100,000/yr or above puts you in the 94th percentile for the entire USA. I don't know how old you are but presuming that you are around 30 yrs old, roughly half (give or take 10%) of men close to that age have never been married.
This cuts your dating pool to roughly 3% of the men in a given area without getting into other factors. FYI: If you aren't looking for a caucasian or asian spouse then the numbers start to look even more bleak for your desired income range.
However, I think that your number one problem is going to be competition from other women. Good looking, nice guys that aren't crazy and have their lives more or less put together are already a hot commodity among eligible women. Good looking, nice guys that aren't crazy with a 6-figure income are probably turning women down regularly.
Regardless of how good a catch you are, a happy marriage means finding a guy who meets your expectations and is ready to wade through a sea of women to settle down. Just finding someone like this who hasn't already been locked down by another woman is going to require a lot of time and effort.
I wish you luck in getting what you're looking for, but I would advise you to not disqualify potential life partners based on the size of their paycheck. Money isn't everything, and money will not magically make your marriage or relationship better.
I am not suggesting that you date a dead beat, or someone living in their mothers' garage... but there are a lot of driven guys whose chosen passion or career does not lend itself to a 6-figure paycheck.
Besides, if the only complaint within a marriage is the exact split of how bills are paid then you are a blessed, fortunate person indeed.
-EDIT-
I will leave you with this adage I have heard repeated: "When you marry for money, you earn every penny"
It does exists, but I rarely see a financially successful man under 50 that is with a woman that isn't more attractive than he is unless he got with her before he had money. Unfortunately we live in a society where being with an attractive women is as much of a status symbol as driving a BMW or living in nice house is.
All I'm saying is that if the OP wishes to date a guy that makes 100k a year or more, she needs to be prepared to date down in looks or personality if she's not an above average looking lady, as any decent looking or even average looking guy with a good personality that's in that income range will typically have an attractive significant other. I work with couples all the time, and this is almost always the case.
I usually see that as well when I am in the USA. Men are valued for their economic status while women are valued for how good their appearance. Its just one of those psychological things among the genders.
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