Do online dating sites really work and is it pathetic to use them?
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Let me put it into perspective as others have alluded to. It brings out the instability in those that are easily overwhelmed or influenced by a new sense of popularity and attention. You become an attention/datingmonger.
What I mean is that online dating, for MANY, lends itself to the "next, next, next, and next, best thing". Even the new tinder and ok cupid swipe technology is playing into this. You literally swipe with a finger and most of the swipes are within 1 second of landing on a person's profile.
So if you are a person that is easily influenced by this stuff, NOT EVERYONE, but many, will be a secret multi-dating machine trying to decide who you want to date. THIS IS NOT COOL AND DISHONEST. If you are not upfront with people in that you are talking to multiple people, you are being dishonest. If you are juggling, you are a greedy pervert. Nothing wrong with either but it's the truth. This turns to a cycle by any given time, you are testing the waters with 2 or more people. If you are doing this for 2 years, there is something wrong. Some people have an index number of 4 people at a time. They can go 2-4 rounds of multi-dating 4 people at a time in order to date 1 person. When that doesn't work out, they go back to 4 people because the "need options". Call it what it is, but that is date-mongering
I have been on these sites for so long because I am strictly looking for booty and let people know from the get go and seek those that are mutually interested. The difference is that I admit who and what I am unlike most people that use online dating.....
Bottom line is that online dating is for perverts. We simply want to down play it but think about it, how natural is it to seek people online? Ever pick someone out in a criminal line? Ever choose an asian woman out of a group of 30 behind a glass window in bangkok thailand? Ever pick a kitty or doggy at a shelter while standing behind a thick glass window? If a person is actively seeking a partner online or through some meet up group, or a legal brothel, we are desperately seeking companionship and love. It DOESN'T mean we can't meet the right people and have decent relationships. Prostitutes have great friendly relationships with their loyal customers. There are plenty of serial rapists teaching our kids in elementary schools.
Just don't overreact. Think about it. How natural is it to pick and choose people online? It is not natural. Gay marriage isn't considered natural but we do it. It was illegal and still is in some states. 3 gay men married in a 3 way marriage in thailand last week. That isn't natural and if you think it is, I will show you the devil himself.
Just don't put everything in a box because it fits your preference. At the end of the day, none of this is natural but we all do it because we are all pervs. Yes, it is pathetic is the natural sense. It is pathetic for some for two grown bearded men that can't procreate to be in bed together because it isn't natural but we are ok with.
nat·u·ral
ˈnaCH(ə)rəl/ adjective
adjective: natural 1.
existing in or caused by nature; not made or caused by humankind.
Did Eharmony for a year and a month. Now, years later, doing match.com.
I have a nagging suspicion that these sites, when they match up up with people, are often matching you up with people who aren't active, who aren't paying.....but that's just my opinion.
As far as whether or not it is pathetic........in the end, at least it can't be said that I didn't try.
Although I found my SO online, I have to say I am NOT impressed with the quality of people you find there. It seems like in real life you can better tailor the people you have around you than OLD, which is just ALL of society.
Because I'm a bit of a computer geek, I was also a bit of an online stalker (just for fun, I don't show up on people's doorsteps). And I was good at it, too.
Given the stuff I've found about people just searching public records, call me unimpressed. And I'm not just talking about the losers. I'm talking about the people who have good jobs and do things like seek out younger men while lying about their ages. There was this 55 year old insurance executive who called herself 48 online and was seeking out men 35 to 45. I can only imagine what happens when that 35 year old meets up with her!
Also figure on financial problems. Not the most financially stable group in the world, But then again these days most people are like that.
Nevertheless, you do what you have to do and if you haven't found "the one" or are older and don't get around anywhere where you are ever going to be able to meet anyone, then it is one option you should pursue.
They do work! I had 3 relationships from online dating. One lasted 2 years..Of all the sites, I say match.com is the best most high quality people. You have to think people who shell out to find someone are generally the more serious kind and obviously not broke!
Nightclubs and Online dating websites are the only way I can meet a woman
If it wasnt for these sites I would have it really impossible to meet a woman .
Really a pain in the ass asking someone out on a date at school or work
PEOPLE JUST WILL NOT GIVE YOU A CHANCE too much work time invent and money to still be let down.
at least in online dating and night clubs its much easier
At the school I attend the girls that I meet always give the same reason
No time to hang out
Have a boyfriend/seeing someone.
Want to get to know each other but yet do not want to make the time and effort to do anything together.
You already sound like not my type
When I tried online dating and did the nightclubs I got to meet many woman than i would the traditional way
Last edited by Mr.Professional; 03-12-2015 at 03:57 PM..
What I mean is that online dating, for MANY, lends itself to the "next, next, next, and next, best thing". Even the new tinder and ok cupid swipe technology is playing into this. You literally swipe with a finger and most of the swipes are within 1 second of landing on a person's profile.
I don't believe online dating creates this "next, next" mentality. But it does attract such people. I remember before online dating, you'd find people who were always looking for the next best thing, be it jobs, cars, apartments, or the people they date. They'd get bored and want to move onto the next thing, always convinced that there was something or someone better out there than what they had in front of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing
Bottom line is that online dating is for perverts. We simply want to down play it but think about it, how natural is it to seek people online?
No. Bottom line that online dating is for people who haven't had success meeting people offline so they're looking for more options. It's funny that you ask how natural is it to seek people online. How natural is it to use a phone to ask someone out? Last time I checked, other species don't use phones to find a mate.
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