Do online dating sites really work and is it pathetic to use them? (female, husband)
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Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ToTheOtherSide
Do online dating or hookup websites like eharmony, friendfinder, match etc... really work and do you feel it's odd that people use them?
Honestly, why do we need so many of these threads? For some people they absolutely work, and some people do nothing but complain about them. For me, they were great. POF gave me many dating opportunities, and I eventually met my wife there. I suspect people that have trouble with them have trouble with many things in life. It's not odd at all that people use them. Why not expand your dating pool?
In my case, I decided to try OLD when I moved to a new city and had ended a relationship, and felt ready to test the waters again. I met a few guys and had some fun, and it helped to sort of introduce me to the social fold, so to speak. Once I started meeting new people in my new city, I started meeting potential dates offline and stopped OLD entirely. Of course, then I met my current boyfriend and the rest is history, but I used OLD as a jumping off point.
This is how I did it as well. I moved to a new city where I didn't know anybody. I was working at home so I couldn't meet people that way. And the apartment I lived in was full of mostly families or older people. So I tried online dating, went on a few dates, but nothing serious ever came of it. Eventually (and after changing apartments), I made some friends where I lived. That's how I met my current girlfriend, though I held off on asking her out partly because we lived in the same set of apartments and I didn't think it would be smart to date a neighbor. So while I ended up meeting someone the traditional way, I still think online dating is a worthwhile approach. The people I did date were people I never would've met otherwise. They were all great, just no one I wanted to keep seeing.
This is how I did it as well. I moved to a new city where I didn't know anybody. I was working at home so I couldn't meet people that way. And the apartment I lived in was full of mostly families or older people. So I tried online dating, went on a few dates, but nothing serious ever came of it. Eventually (and after changing apartments), I made some friends where I lived. That's how I met my current girlfriend, though I held off on asking her out partly because we lived in the same set of apartments and I didn't think it would be smart to date a neighbor. So while I ended up meeting someone the traditional way, I still think online dating is a worthwhile approach. The people I did date were people I never would've met otherwise. They were all great, just no one I wanted to keep seeing.
I was working from home when I first moved here too. There are plenty of cute men in my building, but none of them can manage to recycle or throw out their trash properly, or to throw out the 55,213 fliers we receive every day, so I would never think of dating them.
I guess we disagree on what's age appropriate? To me age approriate is over 18 and under, say, 70.
But when you say you're social, does that include things like meetup dot com groups?
I look at OLD sites but none of the profiles I see appeal to me. I want to sleep with most of the women, but I'm not interested in being their boyfriend. I've met six people with whom I would want to be in a relationship...but I don't feel that way about any of those profiles.
23-37 is my range.
Some of it has to do with my location. My town has only 80,000 people and is a place that people regularly say is "a great place to raise a family!" It's quite easy to meet married people and retirees but few single professionals. Young people who grow up here tend to want to "move up" to the big city - Portland or Seattle or California, and we don't have an economy here that attracts college graduates or other single, young, smart, ambitious people.
When I do meet available singles in the age range I want - they are looking to get the heck out outta dodge when the opportunity beckons.
There is a sub-set of single moms who seem to have big problems dating, but I don't really want to be a father to someone else's kid.
I agree with everything you said. I've moved around a lot in my life, and moving to a new location I didn't know anyone. I work crazy rotating shifts. I've never been interested in bars or nightclubs. I do enjoy seeing live music, and I did have success with when I was younger as I'd go out three or four nights a week to see bands. Cold approaches have never worked out very well for me. It's just not something I like doing. With OLD, I know something about that person already and more often than not, the person on the other end is actually interested in a relationship.
Now you are sounding like me . Just before I decided to try OLD, I did the bar/club thing...but honestly the only places that really drew me were where the live music was. And that was more of an attraction for me, than any guys in there. I'm a music freak, and yeah I do love to dance....but for me it was always about the music. And even then I just got tired of the going out...I like to hit the gym after work and there is just so much time in the day!!
There are two main methods of meeting romantic partners: dating strangers and letting it happen organically with people you know. I prefer the latter method.
I would never date a "stranger". Who the hell dates "strangers"? When I first meet someone via OLD, in person, it is a short - "how do you do" meeting. It certainly is not a "date". Literally 30 minutes or so, maybe an hour...just to MEET and see if we match what each was expecting. If we happen to hit it off...it could last longer. I've already talked to them on the phone a few times, and there has been quite a bit of conversation, via both phone and email. So we meet...certainly not quite strangers...I know more about them than I do about the guy in the bar that asks me for my number. Or the guy at the party...or the guy....wherever. And then AFTER that meeting....we decide if we want to see each other again - if we want to date.
I don't think you understand OLD. Or maybe you are just picturing it as...well I don't know what you are picturing, frankly.
I hope I don't end up having to use one lol. Not because I think it's pathetic or associate any negative connotations with it. But because I would like to meet someone the old fashioned way. That's the way I've always met guys.
And it usually sounds little more romantic than "We met on Match.com"
I hope I don't end up having to use one lol. Not because I think it's pathetic or associate any negative connotations with it. But because I would like to meet someone the old fashioned way. That's the way I've always met guys.
And it usually sounds little more romantic than "We met on Match.com"
If you meet the right person, then who cares how you met? I fail to see why it's less romantic to say you met on a dating site. What matters is that you met, not how.
I hope I don't end up having to use one lol. Not because I think it's pathetic or associate any negative connotations with it. But because I would like to meet someone the old fashioned way. That's the way I've always met guys.
And it usually sounds little more romantic than "We met on Match.com"
I have to admit I share similar thoughts. I would prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way, and have a nice story to tell of how we met. As others have said though, it doesn't really matter in the end as long as you meet that special someone. The older you get, the harder it becomes to meet people in the "traditional" way due to work, time, etc. and online is a great option. Subconsciously though, I would prefer to meet a woman the traditional way even though it shouldn't matter.
If you meet the right person, then who cares how you met? I fail to see why it's less romantic to say you met on a dating site. What matters is that you met, not how.
Exactly. So weird that people get hung up such things.
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This is how I did it as well. I moved to a new city where I didn't know anybody. I was working at home so I couldn't meet people that way. And the apartment I lived in was full of mostly families or older people. So I tried online dating, went on a few dates, but nothing serious ever came of it. Eventually (and after changing apartments), I made some friends where I lived. That's how I met my current girlfriend, though I held off on asking her out partly because we lived in the same set of apartments and I didn't think it would be smart to date a neighbor. So while I ended up meeting someone the traditional way, I still think online dating is a worthwhile approach. The people I did date were people I never would've met otherwise. They were all great, just no one I wanted to keep seeing.
. Just before I decided to try OLD, I did the bar/club thing...but honestly the only places that really drew me were where the live music was. And that was more of an attraction for me, than any guys in there. 
I'm a music freak, and yeah I do love to dance....but for me it was always about the music. And even then I just got tired of the going out...I like to hit the gym after work and there is just so much time in the day!!
