Question for men: While in a relationship, do you still have urges to be with other women?

[1orlando]

Originally Posted by Ariel91

So I'm trying to be an understanding girlfriend, I've been cheated on before and I don't want it happening again. So here are my questions, men if your in a relationship do you still want to be with other women, I know the thought is there ok fine men like sex, but do you act on it? And if so how far will you go? Online chatting with strangers, escorts, strippers, porn, facebooking women, skyping strangers, do you have actual affairs? What do you do please be honest! Should I worry or trust my partner, he is very honest and open and I'm trying to understand a mans psychology but this is very difficult because as a woman I can say that I don't have any of these urges...

I started a similar thread last year and it got so heated that a moderator closed it.

[qwy]

Originally Posted by aliwalas

One time, my husband and I were walking down the street. This one girl was walking towards the opposite direction and I must say, she had a nice set and the T shirt that she was wearing truly emphasized that. She was sexy. Ya, I was checking her out and I know my husband was doing the same thing. By the time we passed, he still turned around and that's when I said, "Really?" that...or some remark, I can't remember. We both laughed it off. I pretended to be jealous so he kept laughing. I'm not blind. He's not blind. Meh. I know my husband would never leave me over some woman with a nicer body than me and if he did, it's his loss, so why worry about it?

Why is it his loss?

I'm asking this question to seek understanding not out of contention. If your boyfriend/husband (this applies to both genders, it's just that I hear women say this more) found someone with a better body, someone who is much more attractive, has more money, has a better sense of humor, is better in bed, etc.

Then why would it be his lose to leave (not cheat, because cheating is wrong) you in a honest and respectful way for that incredible woman who also wants him back?

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by qwy

Why is it his loss?

I'm asking this question to seek understanding not out of contention. If your boyfriend/husband (this applies to both genders, it's just that I hear women say this more) found someone with a better body, someone who is much more attractive, has more money, has a better sense of humor, is better in bed, etc.

Then why would it be his lose to leave (not cheat, because cheating is wrong) you in a honest and respectful way for that incredible woman who also wants him back?

Ethics, morals, and the type of person you want to be may or may not factor into the equation.

It depends what type of person you are.

[MissmamaAnnie]

It's normal. In fact I'd go as far as stating that the opposite -- really genuinely not noticing that other people are attractive AT ALL while in a relationship is pretty odd.

But noticing, and having any motivation to do anything about it, are two quite different things

[qwy]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Ethics, morals, and the type of person you want to be may or may not factor into the equation.

It depends what type of person you are.

I agree with loyalty and faithfulness and if single. If married, then it's shouldn't even be a question, he made a vow, a commitment, and a rational decision to only share his love with his wife after having time to date other women and compare.

But...

You said morals, and the type of person you what to be, or the type of person you are not... Are you saying that if a man breaks up with his girlfriend "only" because he found someone with a much prettier face and a sexier body (who wants him back equally), isn't a good person???

Again, I'm not trying to troll or attack, I just wonder why does it make people think badly of the person who leaves the plain girlfriend for the sexy hot new girl. Not cheat on her, not lie to her, but breaks up honestly. And not just for a new women who looks better with a better body, but who is also smart, kind, funny etc.

When this happens and the new relationship ends up not just working out but the man seems happier, I always notice that the women who gossip about it always say, the guy is a (insert bad word or character reference), then they say but my boyfriend or husband would never do that, because he knows it would be his loss...

Why??? If a woman I was dating found a better boyfriend and told me honestly and respectfully, without cheating, I and all my male friends wouldn't say, it's her loss! Nor would we think that she doesn't have ethics or morals.

[DefiantNJ]

I think for men and perhaps for women, I wouldn't know, staying faithful also depends on the quality of the relationship. If they are having good and frequent sex, if they go out, travel and have fun together then probably either party is less likely to cheat. For me, honestly, I notice that after a good time in the bedroom I even stop paying attention to an attractive women for a couple of days.

And then later on, if both partners are committed to having kid(s) and to raising them, then probably they will have less time and motivation to cheat. I think the danger of cheating really comes a lot later, when partners spend 10+ year together, kids might be require somewhat less attention and the parents just become boring to each other. And I guess if a couple has no kids, they might get bored with each other much earlier.

Sorry if this has already mentioned here but I don't have time to read the entire thread.

[mustangman66]

I am happily married but would love to have sex with about 80% of the women I see. As bad as it sounds, its just physical attraction and I would never act on it. Not interested in ruining what I have but the excitement of wondering what it would be like is always as I know what my wife is into and what she isn't...sometimes wonder if these women I look at are into the things my wife is not Again, I don't act, just think its natural and I would expect my wife to say the same about being attracted to other men but she denies it. Liar, lol.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by qwy

I agree with loyalty and faithfulness and if single. If married, then it's shouldn't even be a question, he made a vow, a commitment, and a rational decision to only share his love with his wife after having time to date other women and compare.

But...

You said morals, and the type of person you what to be, or the type of person you are not... Are you saying that if a man breaks up with his girlfriend "only" because he found someone with a much prettier face and a sexier body (who wants him back equally), isn't a good person???

Again, I'm not trying to troll or attack, I just wonder why does it make people think badly of the person who leaves the plain girlfriend for the sexy hot new girl. Not cheat on her, not lie to her, but breaks up honestly. And not just for a new women who looks better with a better body, but who is also smart, kind, funny etc.

When this happens and the new relationship ends up not just working out but the man seems happier, I always notice that the women who gossip about it always say, the guy is a (insert bad word or character reference), then they say but my boyfriend or husband would never do that, because he knows it would be his loss...

Why??? If a woman I was dating found a better boyfriend and told me honestly and respectfully, without cheating, I and all my male friends wouldn't say, it's her loss! Nor would we think that she doesn't have ethics or morals.

As a married person I have to guard against getting to know someone well enough to find all that out. It's not moral for me to meet a man and get on that personal of a level with him.

That's all fluff anyway, the other person is going to have their own set of flaws that you never consider until you are with them for years. Then you would start the whole cycle of moving on again.

To me whether a marriage fails or succeeds should happen within the bubble of just the two people, not because something more shiny came along.