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However, most studies show that women cheat just as much as men do.
Of course not all women cheat, either.
However, you can bet that all men still find other women attractive. They might be married but they aren't dead. They're gonna look. They might entertain fleeting thoughts. It's whether they say or do anything in those situations, that counts. You can't punish a guy for having eyes and a brain. And odds are, if you are a woman in a committed relationship, eventually you're going to notice other guys here and there that are appealing.
It all comes down to whether one acts on that, or has the self control not to.
Honestly, any man COULD cheat. The reality some do and some don't. There is no absolute or universal "majority" of them would or would not.
Do not paint our whole gender with your broad brush.
The majority of men do not have the abundant opportunities like athletes and famous celebs. If every male experienced how easy it is for these men, most would eventually cheat. Especially after a few years with the same woman and especially after a few decades when she has become older.
Some guys will have opportunities. But there's a big difference when it's a few compared to lots.
Most guys will have urges, but most guys won't go through with it for fear of getting caught.
I'd loveeee to know what "studies" show that women cheat as much as men. Big HA! on that one!
Oh, wow, another guy who thinks women in committed relationships go through life with blinders on. No, we never notice good-looking men who are not our SOs. No, we never feel attractions for any other guys. No, we never fantasize about being with other men. Nope.
Do you honestly think the women men are cheating with are all unmarried?
But just because women OR men feel these natural urges doesn't mean they're going to act on them. During my marriage, I noticed other men ALL the time. I felt strong physical/emotional attractions connections other men a few times. I certainly could have cheated if I'd wanted to, but I made the decision that I wasn't going go down that path, as tempting as it was, and I never did. Not even close. And I'm glad.
However, most studies show that women cheat just as much as men do.
Of course not all women cheat, either.
However, you can bet that all men still find other women attractive. They might be married but they aren't dead. They're gonna look. They might entertain fleeting thoughts. It's whether they say or do anything in those situations, that counts. You can't punish a guy for having eyes and a brain. And odds are, if you are a woman in a committed relationship, eventually you're going to notice other guys here and there that are appealing.
It all comes down to whether one acts on that, or has the self control not to.
Bingo.
OP, my mom has always said that a man could be married to the most beautiful woman in the world (if that's actually measurable), and he'd still look at other women. And that's okay. Everybody looks, or everyone who's normal, anyway . Having said that, there's looking, and then there's looking. If a SO is constantly staring/gawking at other attractive people, and especially in front of his/her partner, that's disrespectful to everyone involved. And kind of douchey, imo.
Depending on what it is, specifically, that your BF is doing, you're feeling this way because I think you're young. As you get older, you'll realize that innocent looking is natural and inevitable, because you'll be doing it, too.
Oh, wow, another guy who thinks women in committed relationships go through life with blinders on. No, we never notice good-looking men who are not our SOs. No, we never feel attractions for any other guys. No, we never fantasize about being with other men. Nope.
Do you honestly think the women men are cheating with are all unmarried?
But just because women OR men feel these natural urges doesn't mean they're going to act on them. During my marriage, I noticed other men ALL the time. I felt strong physical/emotional attractions connections other men a few times. I certainly could have cheated if I'd wanted to, but I made the decision that I wasn't going go down that path, as tempting as it was, and I never did. Not even close. And I'm glad.
But, gosh, I sure would have like to.
The substance of your post is good, but your subject is off. The poster you replied to was a woman who thinks that men have more urges to cheat and cheat more, period. Mostly likely from preconceived notions and upbringing of men as horn-dogs and women as nice gals looking for love, not sex...or whatever.
One's experiences in the world of male-female interactions can make one think that sort of thing, too.
But I don't think it's true. Not really.
The science I've seen on the topic shows that when it comes to the things that drive us...the NATURE, not the nurture, and setting aside our values, religion, etc. you have women and men both compelled to stray but for differing reasons, as different as their positions in the breeding game.
A man may be driven to stray by the "sow thy seed" urge. The evolutionary purpose to have some scattered genetic back up plans out there that may yet bear fruit.
Women on the other hand...this was interesting. On one documentary I saw, the researchers visited nightclubs. They asked females to participate, by simply stepping in front of a camera with a green screen behind them, and dancing to the music as they were inside the club. They also were asked some questions such as whether they were in a committed relationship and where in their menstrual cycle they were at the time, and whether their significant other was present at the bar that night.
BY FAR the women who were showing the most skin, and had the most exaggerated movements in their dancing, were the ones who were in a committed relationship, not attending with the bf or husband that night (alone or with girlfriends), AND at a point in their cycles where they were likely to be fertile.
Which tells us that the subconscious drive in the deep animal brain of the female, is that she is safe and provided for with a male partner, and that the evolutionary advantage is to try and breed the most fit of offspring, which might not be the babies of her chosen mate...so long as he doesn't know.
Fortunately, as human beings with a great deal of potential for impulse control, complex higher intelligence, values, spirituality, etc etc...we can absolutely put the smack down on our animal impulses if we are disciplined enough. No one is a slave to these things. I think it is fascinating, and they should be seen with some awareness, as parts of ourselves...influences...but not inevitable predictors of behavior. We are more than the sum of our genes and instincts.
Oh, wow, another guy who thinks women in committed relationships go through life with blinders on. No, we never notice good-looking men who are not our SOs. No, we never feel attractions for any other guys. No, we never fantasize about being with other men. Nope.
Do you honestly think the women men are cheating with are all unmarried?
But just because women OR men feel these natural urges doesn't mean they're going to act on them. During my marriage, I noticed other men ALL the time. I felt strong physical/emotional attractions connections other men a few times. I certainly could have cheated if I'd wanted to, but I made the decision that I wasn't going go down that path, as tempting as it was, and I never did. Not even close. And I'm glad.
Ditto. When I was younger it used to bother me, but now I'm cool with it (especially since the Mr. is now mature enough to not gawk), because I get that even 90 year old men do their share of bikini-watching, and that finding another person physically attractive does not mean he's plotting to go to bed with her. Now, when I see that he notices an attractive woman I jokingly say "I guess I better put out tonight" or something along those lines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newdixiegirl
Depending on what it is, specifically, that your BF is doing, you're feeling this way because I think you're young. As you get older, you'll realize that innocent looking is natural and inevitable, because you'll be doing it, too.
Ditto. When I was younger it used to bother me, but now I'm cool with it (especially since the Mr. is now mature enough to not gawk), because I get that even 90 year old men do their share of bikini-watching, and that finding another person physically attractive does not mean he's plotting to go to bed with her. Now, when I see that he notices an attractive woman I jokingly say "I guess I better put out tonight" or something along those lines.
My old man has a saying for this, which he got from some stand up comedian or something.
"I'm capable of enjoying the view of a beautiful landscape, without wanting to go camping in it."
My old man has a saying for this, which he got from some stand up comedian or something.
"I'm capable of enjoying the view of a beautiful landscape, without wanting to go camping in it."
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. Having said that, there's looking, and then there's looking. If a SO is constantly staring/gawking at other attractive people, and especially in front of his/her partner, that's disrespectful to everyone involved. And kind of douchey, imo. 
