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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Yeah, to me FWB differs from FB (F buddy/booty call), but some do use them interchangeably.
Which is why FWBs get such a bad reputation.
I was reminded with the past person I dated how much better sex is with someone your in love with, adore, and have that monogamous connection with.
But those connections are hard to find, so in the meantime, nice, comfortable sex with a good friend or two helps during the gap. Better than just doing a lot of first dates and hooking up for the sake of it, for me anyway.
I was reminded with the past person I dated how much better sex is with someone your in love with, adore, and have that monogamous connection with.
But those connections are hard to find, so in the meantime, nice, comfortable sex with a good friend or two helps during the gap. Better than just doing a lot of first dates and hooking up for the sake of it, for me anyway.
I have pretty high expectations now, haha. I don't know if I have the patience anymore to break in somebody new.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I have pretty high expectations now, haha. I don't know if I have the patience anymore to break in somebody new.
A new FWB? Yeah, I don't know. A new relationship I definitely have the patience for, but I hear you if you meant new FWB. It's why, I think, among the people I know that those FWB relationships last so long; I had one of 8 years (we haven't slept together for 2... who knows if it will start up again, we still hang out), but it was great.
True. I mean people who seek out FWB relationships, they are strangers with the person they want to do it with in the beginning. And then what happened to me, he decides after sleeping with me, I'm too emotional. So I got ****ed over twice. It was ironically more messy than I think he intended. I guess cause I'm not meant for casual sex.
Hold up. The guy you slept with was LOOKING for a FWB deal and you knew it?
He didn't do anything wrong here. He was up front. If this is what happened, he did his due diligence by telling you he did not want a relationship.
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That's not a FWB and this is apparently not sinking into your head.
It could be. You meet a person. You tell them you'd like to become friends with benefits. You get to know them, you become friends. You later start having sex if the friend thing is working. It sounds like this is what the guy OP had sex with thought they were doing.
I agree that you need to be friends first, though. And that the OP just isn't getting it.
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
It could be. You meet a person. You tell them you'd like to become friends with benefits. You get to know them, you become friends. You later start having sex if the friend thing is working. It sounds like this is what the guy OP had sex with thought they were doing.
I agree that you need to be friends first, though. And that the OP just isn't getting it.
Well yes, but that isn't what she was describing. There are many paths to a FWB, but strangers who just met and started having sex right away (which is fine) aren't FWBs to start with, it may become that in time.
A new FWB? Yeah, I don't know. A new relationship I definitely have the patience for, but I hear you if you meant new FWB. It's why, I think, among the people I know that those FWB relationships last so long; I had one of 8 years (we haven't slept together for 2... who knows if it will start up again, we still hang out), but it was great.
Yeah. I'm married, but if I was single, it's unlikely that I'd have any interest in a FWB unless it was one from my past that I had previously been involved with in some way.
Save all the brand new sex for serious romantic relationships.
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
Yeah. I'm married, but if I was single, it's unlikely that I'd have any interest in a FWB unless it was one from my past that I had previously been involved with in some way.
Save all the brand new sex for serious romantic relationships.
You're fortunate to be married, the reality though, while dating is pretty easy, finding those serious connections can be difficult and the gaps significant. But I understand where you are coming from.
Well yes, but that isn't what she was describing. There are many paths to a FWB, but strangers who just met and started having sex right away (which is fine) aren't FWBs to start with, it may become that in time.
I agree with you as pertains to this thread, but I know this thread is about the guy she had sex with and they became long-distance friends who talked regularly every day for months before they had sex. He probably felt like they HAD become friends.
I think some wires were seriously crossed.
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You're fortunate to be married, the reality though, while dating is pretty easy, finding those serious connections can be difficult and the gaps significant. But I understand where you are coming from.
Yeah. I've got a pretty good idea. This isn't my first marriage.
That's why I like staying friends with my exes, when possible. They're still good friends who know me really well. I find that comforting even in a nonsexual way. If I was single and just not finding anyone I wanted to date seriously and/or not wanting a serious relationship, I'd probably have sex with one of them if I just wanted sex. Less risky. Especially since I am an emotional person. Having feelings for an ex that you've remained friends with is logical. That's a person with whom you've shared a good deal of yourself in the past. Less hollow than some sort of hookup. I think I'd just give up sex entirely before going that route if I was ever single again. Naturally, I'd rather stay married. My husband is a great guy and my very best friend.
You are correct. I am fortunate to be married. Marriage isn't super easy all the time, but the benefits are great. Having a regular someone that you love and are committed to is a fine thing indeed.
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