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I never said it was a terrible thing to do just that it has potential to create needless worry when the person being asked forgets. The guy asking a new date doesn't know if she is someone like you who will remember to do it and appreciates it or someone else who takes it less seriously and doesn't remember it two seconds later but might be annoyed to get woken up an hour later if he "follows up".
I see it as more practical for long-term and/or married couples, where you know each other's tendencies and preferences. The one being asked may know that it is really important to the one asking and will do it whether they think it is silly or not. It's going to be seen as concerned caring not "creepy".
I agree, look if someone asked me to let them know when I got home, I'd do it regardless of what my feelings are towards them. But one of my friends who I just told this story to, said I shouldn't have texted him when I got home, she said if it were her and she wasn't into him she would not have texted him to let him know she was home. I told her I would never do that regardless of how I felt about the guy, because if he is being genuine, you might create needless worry. In my situation the guy was a cop, so I thought it best to oblige.
and in this case, i was surprised how such a benign and common act of courtesy could be potentially considered an indicator of romantic interest in someone. so i figured, it must be related to different gender communications (and thinking) styles.
a benign and common act of courtesy could be potentially considered an indicator of romantic interest in someone.
and? so? so what? maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
i think it is not a big deal and i think people are just answering the question that was asked, giving personal experience and feelings about it. i don't think anyone is making more of this or overthinking it. i have actually not given it a second thought when i have been asked to text someone when i get home until reading the question here. but if i like them, i am more happy to do it (text them) than if i am not interested in them and am just doing it because they asked. so what? it's not a big deal. not everyone asks for a text letting them know that you arrived home safe and sound.
i think it is not a big deal and i think people are just answering the question that was asked, giving personal experience and feelings about it. i don't think anyone is making more of this or overthinking it. i have actually not given it a second thought when i have been asked to text someone when i get home until reading the question here. but if i like them, i am more happy to do it (text them) than if i am not interested in them and am just doing it because they asked. so what? it's not a big deal. not everyone asks for a text letting them know that you arrived home safe and sound.
yawn, go fight windmills and kites. you were asked for your "personal experience and feelings about it" and so was i, so seems like if anyone is making a big deal is you sweet cakes.
OP asked me to elaborate and i did by suggesting most guys don't obsessed about the nuances of direct communications unless there is something vague about the message. in fact, direct communication usually involves, well, a clear message without any hinting, subtleties, or other pre-text intended to cause confusion.
anyway, i actually regularly do ask dates/friends to text me when they get home just to make sure they get home safe, cuz i also usally have a good idea if they're near DUI risks (i carry a law enforcement quality breathalizer in my car). i just never occurred to me that someone would think that "special request" was something other than concern for their well being. but whatever
i actually do ask dates/friends to text me when they get home just to make sure they get home safe, cuz i usally have a good idea if they're near DUI levels (i carry a law enforcement quality breathalizer in my car).
How does that "make sure" of anything? What are you going to do about it if you don't get a text?
So met a guy off a dating site last night. It went ok, but could've been better which is my fault because I was super exhausted and probably wasn't very exciting company. Anyway at the end of the date he walked me to my car and told me to text him to let him know I got home safe, I also only lived a 5-7 minute drive away from the place and he was aware of this.
Anyway I texted him when I got home and thanked him for coming out to meet me (he lives about 45 min away) and I apologized for not being much company, he replied saying it was ok and that he understood I had a long day, then I replied telling him to have a good night and he did the same.
So my question is do you guys say the "text me when you get home" line because you're interested in the girl or are you just being a nice guy?
I think it's common courtessy to make sure the person you just hung out with and drove the distance to see you made it home safe. It's sorta like "See you later." "Text me when you get home" is common courtesy in the texting world these days. Back then it was more like "Call me to let me know you're home safe." People say that even to their friends.
Ok I think we've established that most people tell their friends or family to text them when they get home out of concern. However I didn't think it was that common to say to a stranger, which after two hours of meeting someone , you still are. I mean think about it if you met somebody out one night and exchanged numbers after chatting for two hours, would you ask them to text you when they get home? I'm sure there are people who would, I personally wouldn't and I don't think most people would.
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