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If I wanted to be in a open relationship I would not be married nor would I be committed to one person.
That is somewhat judgemental from you. Firstly marriage and open relationships are not mutually exclusive. Many people engage in both.
Secondly people in open relationships often do consider themselves committed to one person. Just the form of their commitment takes on a different shape to your own.
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Originally Posted by CSD610
Hence the term "affair" and why it is so looked down upon by so many
That is entirely different to this thread however. An "affair" is when you break the trust of your partner by engaging in extra marital sex that has not been sanctioned or agreed to by your partner. This has nothing to do with a thread on "open relationships" which by definition is done with the knowledge and consent of the people involved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma
I find it VERY hard to believe anyone ever maintains multiple relationships for any sustained period of time. Seems like that sort of arrangement is destined to collapse under its own weight.
I think with open relationships they are not maintaining more than one relationship at one time. Rather they are maintaining one relationship but also engaging in other sexual encounters. That is a bit different and much easier than maintaining multiple relationships.
My own relationship - I am the M in an MFF relationship with 2 kids so far and 2 more planned - I also see as being ONE relationship. There is a different number of people in it than usual - but I still see it as one relationship. That however is not the same thing as Open Relationships - which is a much different thing.
I myself have no interest in a full and free "open relationship" - that is to say where me and/or the girls are free to engage in any kind of sex with anyone at any time. I would however be very open to one or two "one offs" in our relationship where we engage in some external play with others - either together or separately.
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Originally Posted by Ace_TX
my point is that why get married most women go apeshht when they even suspect their man is "cheating" on them now i'm hearing women say they are ok with it, lol i dont care really, just trying to understand the flip-floppery
Because they are two different things. No one is saying "cheating" is ok. The point is when it is accepted - sactioned - and consented to there is no "cheating" going on. Hence no "flip-floppery" either.
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Originally Posted by Ace_TX
yes, children are better off growing up in an environmemt where moms and pops screw other people openly yep...the ideal scenario for kids to be well adjusted
I think we can assume that if we keep the expression of sexuality out of our kids lives then we need not worry about what form that expression takes. Regardless of whether the parents are monogamous - or engaging in an open relationship - it is likely best if they keep their sex lives out of their kids lives.
Assuming they do that - then I doubt there is any reason to worry about the environment or the kids being well adjusted.
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Originally Posted by NVplumber
No way. For me, sex is a private intimacy. Not some base act just to acheive orgasm.
And for a lot of people - it is both. They can engage with sex on many levels separately or together. And for them it does not have to be one single thing.
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Originally Posted by NVplumber
If your going to have sex with whoever, whenever, it can't be called a "relationship".
More of the judgementalism we saw already above. Because people choose to engage in their relationship different to how you do - you simply assert it can not be called a relationship. Who are you to define it for anyone but yourself? It is a relationship - just not one you would want.
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Originally Posted by NVplumber
What do these people do for sex with each other? Make and appointment?
I see no reason to expect they do it any different to how anyone else does it.
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Originally Posted by HappyFarm34
Having an "open" relationship/marriage is cheating.
No - it is not. That is not and never has been the definition of those words.
It does. Plus, I can't speak for anyone else but I have this irrational fear of running into someone from real-life on C-D. They'll read through my post history and know way more than I would normally share, way more than my husband would want them to know... and probably even a few things he doesn't even know. So yeah, probably quite a few of us are less vanilla than we let on, but are just careful about how much we put out there.
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Originally Posted by usayit
Too bad... I think a wider spectrum of people participation would only benefit this forum.
I wouldn't consider myself "wilder" but just unconventional; Expressing those views seems to require a lot of effort and thick skin.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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No to marriage. I'm cool with them. Know people in them, but not thing, if I get married it is because I want to be with only them.
I've done open relationships, generally not my thing, only really ok with them if I like and care about the person, but I'm not madly in love with them.
I don't know anyone who is polyamorous, only seen them on TV. Generally speaking, it seems to be a cover for sex addiction, unless it truly is for religious purposes. I find it VERY hard to believe anyone ever maintains multiple relationships for any sustained period of time. Seems like that sort of arrangement is destined to collapse under its own weight. Eventually someone in the relationships will have a change (large or small) that will mess things up.
Since our society is basically rooted in monogamy, I don't think most people have the social/emotional skills to make polygamy work. Essentially you're agreeing to consider the needs of multiple people instead of just one. Thats what I do for my immediate family, and that's a big responsibility. What if my SO has another SO and she does not necessarily have my best interests at heart? What then? I can hardly trust the woman I share a desk with at work, what makes anyone think I would want to trust another woman to share a man?
It seems to be something a lot of people speculate about these days, but I seriously doubt that 40 years from now we'll be seeing reports of polygamous relationships celebrating silver anniversaries.
FWIW= polyamory and polygamy ARE two different kinds of relationships.
Too many people confuse the two of them.
Polyamory is not swinging either. Nor does it qualify as an "open relationship".
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moxiegal
FWIW= polyamory and polygamy ARE two different kinds of relationships.
Too many people confuse the two of them.
Polyamory is not swinging either. Nor does it qualify as an "open relationship".
Time for google. Google..is your friend.
True. I don't know any polygamists (or know that they are) but know a fair amount of polyamorous couples. Poly people seem almost the norm where I live in many ways. I only know one couple (primaries) who have been together over 15 years though. Most seem fairly stable as primaries, but the tertiaries seem to change a fair amount.
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