Would you be willing to be in an open relationship and/or an in open marriage? (man, loving)

[usayit]

Originally Posted by Ace_TX

and yes...i am too stupid to understand the complexities

Just for the record.. I didn't call you stupid. What I am implying is that your firm stance that the notion of an open relationship is stupid then you are not at the point in which a healthy discussion can occur.

If you accept that it may not be stupid but simply not for you... then that is something people can work with.

Its whether you are approaching it with an open or closed mindset.

yes, children are better off growing up in an environmemt where moms and pops screw other people openly

Again... see above.

A monogamous couple screwing in front of their children can also be an unhealthy environment. My point... children and sexuality should be introduced not exposed. It is responsible parenting regardless of their preferences.

[Futurist110]

Originally Posted by planetelle

NIH. I tried to post the link, but I have to log in through my institution, which I'm not willing to do here.

Do you have a different link to this, though?

Your body, your decision. Are you in the US? I can't imagine a urologist actually removing two perfectly healthy testicles, in this litigious society.

Yes, I am in the U.S.; as for doctors being willing to perform this, well, I would like to point out that if I am unable to get this done in a safe, medical setting, then I might very well try getting this done "in a back-alley" instead; this is some useful information for doctors to know. (That's right--abortions certainly aren't the only medical procedures which can be done "in back-alleys" if necessary!)

Plus, doesn't the U.S. have a thing called informed consent which prevents patients from suing their doctors?

But that's not the topic of this thread. Best of luck to you.

Edit: Just looked at your location. You're in my backyard. SoCal is probably the only place in the US where you'd find someone to do this, unless it was for gender reassignment surgery. Again, best.

Frankly, I think that there will be at least a few doctors who would be willing to perform this procedure for me. In regards to my own case, I seek castration for sterilization, in order to have better control of my sex drive (so that I can make it go up or down as I please), and (depending on how dating will go*) perhaps to feminize myself to some degree as well (after all, I myself am a gender-fluid/cross-dreaming person).

(Also, I would like to point out that various people's recommendation that men who never want to risk getting a woman pregnant and/or being forced to pay child support afterwards should abstain from (vaginal) sex with all fertile and potentially fertile women for the rest of their lives. Frankly, this advice strongly "struck a (raw) nerve" in me; after all, is this serious advice? Do you honestly believe that this advice is realistic? Are these people aware of the nature of their recommendation, or are they simply spouting empty talk? Frankly, this advice and recommendation is so unbelievably extreme that I would easily prefer castration to it by far; literally--it's not even a remotely close decision. And before you give any advice about only having sex with women who have the same view in regards to pregnancy, well, I hate to break it to you, but women can change their minds in regards to this; thus, I never rely on any woman's word that she will get an abortion and/or give our offspring up for adoption in the event that an unwanted pregnancy will occur. Rather, I take things into my own hands and pursue a course of action which will make an unwanted pregnancy an impossibility. Frankly, I am tired of people giving women and/or men advice along the lines of "Keep your legs closed!" or "Keep it in your pants!"; this advice is both utterly unrealistic and utterly unacceptable both for myself and for many other people. Frankly, I am have the temptation to scream out this entire paragraph any and every time that someone will give me such advice; this is a good indicator of just how strongly I feel about this advice/recommendation and this issue.

In addition, I would like to point out that I have heard pro-choicers (including on this forum) complain to anti-abortion people that all non-drastic contraceptives have a failure rate. Yes, that is certainly true (though the odds of several contraceptives all failing at once is extremely low). However, if these pro-choicers cannot deal with even the slightest risk of failure, then I don't see why exactly I should be willing to deal with this either. Also, unlike women, I certainly don't have the luxury of abortion, and thus, I have to pursue castration (Yes, castration) in order to accomplish this goal. Also, before you bring up biological differences, I would like to point out that I will absolutely not be a slave to biology! Rather, I will seek to change biology in my favor by getting castrated, preferably in a safe, medical setting; while I absolutely loathe to seek castration "in a back-alley", I might very well do this if my hand is forced in regards to this issue.

Anyway, extremely long rant over, but I absolutely felt that I had to get all of this out as soon as I can; after all, keeping all of these thoughts bottled up inside of me certainly hasn't been a pleasant experience for me.

Please respond to me via PM in regards to this part in quotes; after all, I am certainly interested in hearing your thoughts on this rant of mine.)

*I have previously asked a question here about women being willing to date men who are using female hormones; the responses which I got back were not exactly encouraging. While I myself might very well prefer to utilize female hormones, I feel compelled not to exclude the option of testosterone replacement therapy instead. I want to feminize myself to some degree either way (by getting rid of most or all of my body and facial hair, my restoring the hair on the top of my head, et cetera); however, the degree of my feminization might also need to take the views of my potential dates and sexual partners into consideration.

[Futurist110]

Originally Posted by usayit

A monogamous couple screwing in front of their children can also be an unhealthy environment. My point... children and sexuality should be introduced not exposed. It is responsible parenting regardless of their preferences.

Completely agreed!

[planetelle]

[quote=Futurist110;39463681]Do you have a different link to this, though?



Yes, I am in the U.S.; as for doctors being willing to perform this, well, I would like to point out that if I am unable to get this done in a safe, medical setting, then I might very well try getting this done "in a back-alley" instead; this is some useful information for doctors to know. (That's right--abortions certainly aren't the only medical procedures which can be done "in back-alleys" if necessary.)

Plus, doesn't the U.S. have a thing called informed consent which prevents patients from suing their doctors?

Frankly, I think that there will be at least a few doctors who would be willing to perform this procedure for me. In regards to my own case, I seek castration for sterilization, in order to have better control of my sex drive (so that I can make it go up or down as I please), and (depending on how dating will go*) perhaps to feminize myself to some degree as well (after all, I myself am a gender-fluid/cross-dreaming person).

You may be able to find a surgeon in the US to do it. It's not really my area of expertise, so I can't comment on it. I've spent my entire adult life around academic medical centers and I can tell you that most surgeons prefer to not do procedure that aren't necessary. The exception is cosmetic surgery, of course. "Informed consent" is a precarious argument, no patient can possible be informed about every possible risk of every medication, anesthetic gas, postoperative complication, etc. etc. I am certain that you have done your research, I'm guessing that any good surgeon would have you see a counselor for a while before s/he performed a procedure like this. Especially considering that you are relatively young.

Informed consent doesn't prevent anyone from suing. Patients sue providers for bad outcomes all the time. Providers settle because it's cheaper than going to trial.

You can probably go to the NIH website and search the terms, or do a PubMed search, and get the abstracts.

[Futurist110]

Originally Posted by planetelle

Do you have a different link to this, though?



Yes, I am in the U.S.; as for doctors being willing to perform this, well, I would like to point out that if I am unable to get this done in a safe, medical setting, then I might very well try getting this done "in a back-alley" instead; this is some useful information for doctors to know. (That's right--abortions certainly aren't the only medical procedures which can be done "in back-alleys" if necessary.)

Plus, doesn't the U.S. have a thing called informed consent which prevents patients from suing their doctors?

Frankly, I think that there will be at least a few doctors who would be willing to perform this procedure for me. In regards to my own case, I seek castration for sterilization, in order to have better control of my sex drive (so that I can make it go up or down as I please), and (depending on how dating will go*) perhaps to feminize myself to some degree as well (after all, I myself am a gender-fluid/cross-dreaming person).

You may be able to find a surgeon in the US to do it. It's not really my area of expertise, so I can't comment on it. I've spent my entire adult life around academic medical centers and I can tell you that most surgeons prefer to not do procedure that aren't necessary. The exception is cosmetic surgery, of course. "Informed consent" is a precarious argument, no patient can possible be informed about every possible risk of every medication, anesthetic gas, postoperative complication, etc. etc. I am certain that you have done your research, I'm guessing that any good surgeon would have you see a counselor for a while before s/he performed a procedure like this. Especially considering that you are relatively young.

Informed consent doesn't prevent anyone from suing. Patients sue providers for bad outcomes all the time. Providers settle because it's cheaper than going to trial.

You can probably go to the NIH website and search the terms, or do a PubMed search, and get the abstracts.

Please let me respond to your post here via PM (personal message(s)); after all, I certainly don't want to get an infraction for diverting this discussion from the thread topic.

Anyway, everyone please carry on with the original discussion here.

[Nallia1]

Originally Posted by Futurist110

Open = Non-monogamous.

As for me, Yes, I do; after all, life is too short for monogamy. Thus, I am going to insist that all future relationships and marriages of mine be open ones.

After all, after I will get castrated (Yes, castrated), I will have a lot of sex to "catch up on" (without ever worrying about the risk of unwanted pregnancy and forced child support payments afterwards regardless of which women I will have sex with).

Didn't get a chance to read the rest of the thread. Aren't you still a virgin? It strikes me as odd that you are so preoccupied with sex.

In truth, the least of your problems is unwanted pregnancy.

Please get professional psychiatric help while you are still relatively young.

[Auraliea]

No.

[Futurist110]

Originally Posted by Nallia1

Didn't get a chance to read the rest of the thread. Aren't you still a virgin?

Yes, I am.

It strikes me as odd that you are so preoccupied with sex.

Just because I am a virgin doesn't mean that I don't want to have sex, and (at certain times) lots of it.

In truth, the least of your problems is unwanted pregnancy.

Don't worry; after all, I can deal with the risk of STDs as well.

Please get professional psychiatric help while you are still relatively young.

Oh, so wanting to prevent an unwanted pregnancy is a bad thing? I hate to break it to you, but telling someone who completely doesn't want to deal with this risk to abstain from vaginal sex with any fertile and potentially fertile woman for the rest of his life is both utterly unacceptable and utterly unrealistic.

[Futurist110]

@plantelle: Also, though--one last thing before we completely divert this convo to PMs: As far as I know, impotence in a eunuch (castrated man) can successfully be dealt with (meaning that it will be eliminated) using hormone replacement therapy.

[hawaiiancoconut]

No, I rather stay single and have all the sex I want from women who only want to have sex. Open marriages/relationships are stupid. But thats just humble opinion.