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I would feel the same as you if that happened. And you really can't tell why he did it. But maybe the sex thing is true. Some guys will say ANYTHING to sleep with a woman. I can promise you that. Maybe he realized he wasn't going to get sex from you that weekend and that's all he wanted from you so he ran away.
We both are college educated and are both employed. He has more or less a blue collar job after leaving corporate America. I think he's from a wealthy family while mine is middle class. I'm 30, he's 31.
Maybe he did just want sex He didn't seem like the type.
Too bad, OP. You never know about people. The fact is, you didn't know much about this guy. His character could have been completely different from what you assumed, and what he was projecting. You just never know. Assume you did nothing wrong, and that there was some hidden agenda, who knows what. And observe the too-much-too-soon rule, which is a variation of the feet-sweeping rule: if he sweeps you off your feet, he's usually after something (a visa, a place to live if you own your own home, your family inheritance, whatever).
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-07-2015 at 11:34 PM..
Maybe he did just want sex He didn't seem like the type.
Some never do. That's why they're called "Players." The play people and act a certain way to get the results they want. Some guys will act interested and affectionate, but if they feel it's not worth it, or happening soon enough, they just drop.
A girl I know is in your shoes now. She met a guy who chased after her for months, looked her to on the school info I believe. He finally got her number, talked about how he'd always noticed her before they ahd classes. He would message her alot wanting to get together. Their 1st meeting, they hung out for 5 hours, and only made-out. But no sex. Now, it's been 2 weeks and he hasn't made any effort to contact her.-stating he's "busy with work and school." He may have only wanted sex, or realized she wanted more than he really did. He may have been fine with a casual arrangement, but she is more relationship-minded. he could be busy, but 2 weeks is pretty long to not even be able to shoot a quick text or small phone call for someone you saw something with.
I know it's pathetic, but I am hoping to hear from him even though I know it's not likely.
I met a guy online and we had a nice dinner on Friday night. There was never a dull moment in conversation, flirting was good, and we shared a lot of mutual interests. He later asked if I still wanted to do something after dinner so we did and went on a nice walk and shared a bottle of wine. He held my hand throughout the night after dinner. He went in for the kiss and we had nice, gentle kisses a few times during that night. He then asked me if I wanted to go out the very next day so I said yes.
When I came back home, he called me and we were on the phone for 45 minutes.
On Saturday we went on a hike and then watched a movie. Again no dull moments in conversation and he kissed me throughout the date again and still held my hand throughout the date. He texted me how he had a great time and I said I felt the same.
I then stopped hearing from him. Normally I don't care if a guy drop off the face of the Earth but for the first time in maybe 2 years, I met someone I actually really liked despite only going out 2 times! He just had a lot of the qualities I look for which are hard to find in 1 person.
I finally heard from him and he sent me something along the lines of "You are a great girl and I enjoyed having dinner with you but we are too different. Best wishes".
Completely blindsided me based on his actions and words.
I normally do not do this because typically when I've asked this, guys just come up with a lie to spare my feelings but I asked him why he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said something like "We have nothing in common and I don't want to start a relationship with someone I have nothing in common with, and I don't want to lead you on."
WTF? We had chemistry, both have the same taste in music, both like to travel, both read, both are foodies, both like to hike, and both of us have the same taste in movies.
For the life of me I don't know why he didn't want to see me again when it was clear he was interested in me.
Any ideas why he did this to me when it was going so well?
Actually, YOU had chemistry he had a nice time and moved on.
Nothing you can do about his decision and no need to waste any more time or energy trying to figure out why he made the decision he did.
You asked, he answered, accept his answer and move on.
Maybe he was dating a few women, and then fell for one of them. I'm sorry.
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Maybe he did just want sex He didn't seem like the type.
I really don't think it was this.
You had TWO dates. Lots of people can convincingly play the part for two dates in an attempt to get to know someone.
He was trying you out, and it turns out he just wasn't feeling it. After two dates, it appears that you let let yourself get way too emotionally invested. That's it.
He wasn't feeling it - for whatever reason - and he decided to let you know. Have you never, ever had a decent time with someone, even a great time, but still felt something inside that wasn't quite right? Those gut feelings are hard to explain but very important.
It sucks that he ghosted for a while but at least he did come back for closure. Do your best to get over it. I think you let yourself get too involved too soon.
I think there was chemistry! He was the one for the most part who kept reaching out to hold my hand and to kiss me! On our first date he even told me that he wasn't a serial dater and that he didn't believe in casual sex. He didn't seem to be a "player" type.
I just really want to know what it was!
You're not likely to get any additional explanation. This just happens sometimes, where it's there for one person and not the other (regardless of how it seems). Don't make yourself crazy wondering. You don't want to be with someone who isn't genuinely interested in being with you, so this guy wasn't the right one. At least he told you pretty much right away. Some guys just vanish and you never know what happened.
Relax, this is all part of the path to the right guy!
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He didn't seem like the type.
