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I'm a 24 year old guy. I'm currently taking my master's.
I've never had a girlfriend, never been kissed or had sex, never asked a girl out. I'm not a hermit, though. I have a group of friends and we enjoy going out every weekend. We have dinner together, we go to bars, to music festivals, we play soccer, go to car races, the beach, etc. I also enjoy my hobbies (jogging, reading, horse riding...)
I'm a very low key guy and I don't ever talk about my intimate life, not even to friends I've known since kindergarten. I've also been lucky with my family, no one ever asks a thing apart from my granny who will sometimes say she wants to meet my girlfriend...I just smile and ignore it.
I was at this university festival last week with my friends and while I went for a drink with a couple of them, they were speaking about the girls they are trying to bed. They both recently broke up with their girlfriends and are looking for fun.
I was just listening but suddenly one of them asked me if I was dating someone. I said not at the moment. But then he carried on saying that he had never seen me with a girl or listened to me talking about a girlfriend. He asked if I had had one...I was not expecting such a question and I told "yeah, occasionally, nothing too serious" in a very awkward way. I think they noticed I was lying.
Should I lie about this? I've had crushes in the past but always at a distance and never acted on it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StriderJ
I'm a 24 year old guy. I'm currently taking my master's.
I've never had a girlfriend, never been kissed or had sex, never asked a girl out. I'm not a hermit, though. I have a group of friends and we enjoy going out every weekend. We have dinner together, we go to bars, to music festivals, we play soccer, go to car races, the beach, etc. I also enjoy my hobbies (jogging, reading, horse riding...)
I'm a very low key guy and I don't ever talk about my intimate life, not even to friends I've known since kindergarten. I've also been lucky with my family, no one ever asks a thing apart from my granny who will sometimes say she wants to meet my girlfriend...I just smile and ignore it.
I was at this university festival last week with my friends and while I went for a drink with a couple of them, they were speaking about the girls they are trying to bed. They both recently broke up with their girlfriends and are looking for fun.
I was just listening but suddenly one of them asked me if I was dating someone. I said not at the moment. But then he carried on saying that he had never seen me with a girl or listened to me talking about a girlfriend. He asked if I had had one...I was not expecting such a question and I told "yeah, occasionally, nothing too serious" in a very awkward way. I think they noticed I was lying.
Should I lie about this? I've had crushes in the past but always at a distance and never acted on it.
From experience, yes. People will look at you like you have two heads if you say you don't have relationship experience, from personal experience.
OP, if your friends ask you, you can just say you haven't met the right girl yet. That wouldn't be a lie. Otherwise, it doesn't matter. You're not the only one in your situation. There's a university professor who posts here occasionally who has said that most of her grad students, male and female, are in your position. It's not a big deal.
So you play soccer. Are there any co-ed soccer leagues in your town? Check with your local Parks Dept., to see if they organize any co-ed sports groups. Same with horse riding; see if there are any clubs with co-ed activities. There have got to be women involved in riding, there always are. Look for new activities/hobbies to try that place you around women, if you want to find a girlfriend. Or maybe you don't?
If it makes you uncomfortable, go ahead and lie... it's not going to affect anyone either way. In reality though, as long as you say things with confidence it doesn't matter what you say.. people will agree with you and think it's fine.
So you play soccer. Are there any co-ed soccer leagues in your town? Check with your local Parks Dept., to see if they organize any co-ed sports groups. Same with horse riding; see if there are any clubs with co-ed activities. There have got to be women involved in riding, there always are. Look for new activities/hobbies to try that place you around women, if you want to find a girlfriend. Or maybe you don't?
I would like to try sex just because I'm curious but I doubt I would enjoy having a girlfriend. I suffer from a few psychological issues, anxiety and anger bursts, that sort of thing.
There are no co-ed sports where I live and to be honest, even if they did, nobody here takes that seriously. I enjoy riding on my own.
I would like to try sex just because I'm curious but I doubt I would enjoy having a girlfriend. I suffer from a few psychological issues, anxiety and anger bursts, that sort of thing.
Ohkayyy.... and you're not motivated to do something about that because......why? You're happy going through the rest of your life with those issues?
I would like to try sex just because I'm curious but I doubt I would enjoy having a girlfriend. I suffer from a few psychological issues, anxiety and anger bursts, that sort of thing.
There are no co-ed sports where I live and to be honest, even if they did, nobody here takes that seriously. I enjoy riding on my own.
Learn a foreign language lol.
You wouldn't believe how easy it is to pick up women who speak that language if you speak it or are learning it.
Man, when I was teaching myself Spanish.. I'd walk around in the library with a Spanish book and then sit like 3 seats from a Latina girl. Give her a couple looks, and then 10 mins later ask her a question
When I spoke fluently, it was all over :P
Now I'm marrying one.
I do not condone learning a language for the sole purposes of getting a girlfriend, mainly because if it's only for that reason you're not going to ever be able to learn it sufficiently. However, if it's something that interests you.. it works out really well.
What's nice about a foreign language, is that you can study it on your own in your spare time and then if you decide you want to talk to people you can at any time.
Women will see that as a big red waving flag that says 'Don't date me, keep away'. They will instantly think you have something wrong with you. Up to you.
Women will see that as a big red waving flag that says 'Don't date me, keep away'. They will instantly think you have something wrong with you. Up to you.
Not at the OP's age, many wouldn't. Especially his fellow grad students. Not that he'd advertise it, anyway.
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