Ladies, could you date a guy who use to see prostitutes? (dating, girlfriends)
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Why would any woman even know about this for it to be a deal breaker? If you've used prostitutes and are disease free, why announce it unless you felt it was something you need to get off your chest after a relationship turns serious? And by the time it's serious, who knows. A woman who wouldn't go on a first date with a guy who admitted using prostitutes from the get go might feel differently if it's a man she's been dating for a while and she knows fairly well... and she just found out (although some might still walk and be really offended).
Spin it around a bit. Men get judged on this topic the way women get judged on how many men they've slept with. If you met a great woman, fell in love with her, knew she was "the one" would it matter to you if she slept with 200, 20, 2, or 0 men before you if she's disease free and you really loved her? Now, imagine the same thing, but you just met the woman and don't know much about her and she blurted out how many men she's had sex with for some inexplicable reason. Big difference huh? Now what about other men, how would they feel about it all? Who knows.. everyone feels differently. Some are more sexually liberated and don't care how many a woman has sex with before them, as long as she's loyal to him. Or you might get a very conservative man who just can't handle the idea and walks. And then all the "flavors" in between.
In the end, it's not going to matter much what the women here think (After all, their opinions, ideas, and feelings will most likely be as varied as shake flavors at Sonic). What matters is the opinions and feelings of the women you date and there is no way to predict how they will feel about it.
I think the man's attitude toward women in general and prostitutes in particular would be the more important thing. It's not an automatic dealbreaker to me but definitely can be. There's a huge range--was it just once, how long ago, etc. It's not something you have to disclose anyway. A guy's regard for women is going to shine through whether he says anything or not. I can't recall if he told me before we married or afterward, but my husband told me his army buddies took him to a massage parlor when he was 19 or so. Even if he never told me, the way he treats women is something I admire. That's more important to me than something he did once when we weren't together.
Assuming he confesses this during dating, I dont know how Id feel. Probably that hes still doing prostitutes and whether its a habit. If so then its a dealbreaker. Id have trust issues and fears about health.
Why would any woman even know about this for it to be a deal breaker? If you've used prostitutes and are disease free, why announce it unless you felt it was something you need to get off your chest after a relationship turns serious? And by the time it's serious, who knows. A woman who wouldn't go on a first date with a guy who admitted using prostitutes from the get go might feel differently if it's a man she's been dating for a while and she knows fairly well... and she just found out (although some might still walk and be really offended).
Spin it around a bit. Men get judged on this topic the way women get judged on how many men they've slept with. If you met a great woman, fell in love with her, knew she was "the one" would it matter to you if she slept with 200, 20, 2, or 0 men before you if she's disease free and you really loved her? Now, imagine the same thing, but you just met the woman and don't know much about her and she blurted out how many men she's had sex with for some inexplicable reason. Big difference huh? Now what about other men, how would they feel about it all? Who knows.. everyone feels differently. Some are more sexually liberated and don't care how many a woman has sex with before them, as long as she's loyal to him. Or you might get a very conservative man who just can't handle the idea and walks. And then all the "flavors" in between.
In the end, it's not going to matter much what the women here think (After all, their opinions, ideas, and feelings will most likely be as varied as shake flavors at Sonic). What matters is the opinions and feelings of the women you date and there is no way to predict how they will feel about it.
If she waited and told me after I'd already fallen in love with her, I would be annoyed. If she told me in the beginning that she use to be a prostitute or that she's slept with upwards of 200 men, I would have to think long and hard about how long ago she's talking about and if all of that is truly in her past.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy
Assuming he confesses this during dating, I dont know how Id feel. Probably that hes still doing prostitutes and whether its a habit. If so then its a dealbreaker. Id have trust issues and fears about health.
So say this habit was 2 years ago and you confirmed that he was STD free, would that be a deal breaker? I'm surprised at how many women are saying that he wouldn't have to tell them if it was in his past.
I would find it odder that he was telling me he used to see prostitutes than the fact he did. I don't think you are under any obligation to disclose everything you've ever done to a partner. If a man asked me the "number" question now, I'd find it offensive and no way would I answer it.
Deal-breaker. I know you mentioned no std's but it's the mentality of a man that can pick someone out for sex. It reveals little to no respect for women and I would question his disposable way of viewing women. I would question if the person was only able to reduce the value of a woman to her breasts or behind. No go for me.
In my experience (and personal observation), working girls/prostitutes (and I'm not talking about the street desperate drug types) are actually safer when it comes to sex than some promiscuous partners. Think about it..... prostitutes are operating a business. They run a business. It is their incentive to protect that business (and their health). Its not like they are getting it on "in the heat of the moment". Condom use also more hygienic and easier when having multiple partners on a daily basis.
Yes they do have lots of sexual partners but to assume that equates to being any less or more risk of STD when compared to other non-working-girls is misleading. That statistic is unknowable... as it heavily depends on the risk one is willing to make (working or not).
How many people here have mentioned unprotected sexual encounters "in the heat of the moment"... or when protection was not within easy reach here in this forum? That will never happen with some prostitutes... there is no such thing as "in the heat of the moment" it is a planned and agreed event.
Furthermore, condom use is not 100% effective against any and all STDs. Sure... but that stat is relates to everyone; few, or lots of partners not necessarily just prostitutes. Yes! there are some prostitutes that have a different tolerance for level of risk and will take risks depending on price. As do high risk prostitutes desperately on the street and addicted. I am not denying that. They do exist. As do normal/regular people who participate in high risk promiscuous sex....
Again.. risk of STDs is unknowable for any individual and you cannot assume high/lower risk due to relations with prostitutes.
"The STD rate among porn actors is significantly higher than among legal prostitutes in Nevada, said the report, because Nevada law requires that prostitutes wear condoms and be tested weekly for disease." (previous paragraph indicates limited condom use among actors during performance)
So to bring this back on topic...
If STD is a concern (and it should be), this discussion should be had with any partner regardless if they were with or worked as a prostitute or not. That leaves the emotional and character perception aspect to the question "If you would be willing to date a guy who has been with a prostitute?" That is a good question to ask yourself and certainly a valid one. As someone already pointed out, you will most likely not find out until after you've been invested in a relationship... as it is not information people volunteer to anyone but the closest of friends/partners.
I personally have been in relationship with women who worked as escorts/prostitutes. Even with those girlfriends, we never had sex without a condom... both of us were always prepared and never let the "heat of the moment" blur our judgement. It actually set a personal habit that I carried with me well after that relationship ended. So obviously I probably fall under the category of a guy who has been with a prostitute.
Last edited by usayit; 06-06-2015 at 01:07 PM..
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