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Several years ago I found out my hus was involved with internet, phone and TV porn. He went as far as to being part of dating sites (married but looking) and even had his own VM so that women could leave messages. We went a year without having sex (he never wanted to) Long story short, I never found any proof of him physically cheating, but common sense says he probably did, but what do you do when there is no proof? I did leave for several months. He started going to counseling, I came back home and for the past year or so I havn't suspected anything. However, whenever we have sex, I initiate it (this was one reason for me to suspect something back in the beginning) and he NEVER ejaculates. It is so robotic. We are both in our mid 30's and take very good care of ourselves physically, so sex before this was never an issue. I suspect he has a secret email address but have exhausted myself in trying to figure out the password. Because he was a sloppy hider in the past (that is how I found all the info I found such as dating sites, email addresses, passwords etc) I am sure he is being xtra careful with these things IF he is involved again. He knows I know how to check computer history/temp internet files etc. Does anyone know if there is another way to find these things once deleted? I am sure there is. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes before or has some thoughts. Thanks
Wow, I can't answer your question. But I think you deserve something more and better than what you are getting in this relationship. If you don't mind me asking... why are you still with him? It sounds like you would be better off without him, hope you don't mind me saying that. It is hard to compete with a fantasy and fantasy is exactly what internet porn sites are, same thing for phone sex....
He is has been dishonest in the past and is probably still dishonest. Is your relationship good, outside of the bedroom?
Several years ago I found out my hus was involved with internet, phone and TV porn. He went as far as to being part of dating sites (married but looking) and even had his own VM so that women could leave messages. We went a year without having sex (he never wanted to) Long story short, I never found any proof of him physically cheating, but common sense says he probably did, but what do you do when there is no proof? I did leave for several months. He started going to counseling, I came back home and for the past year or so I havn't suspected anything. However, whenever we have sex, I initiate it (this was one reason for me to suspect something back in the beginning) and he NEVER ejaculates. It is so robotic. We are both in our mid 30's and take very good care of ourselves physically, so sex before this was never an issue. I suspect he has a secret email address but have exhausted myself in trying to figure out the password. Because he was a sloppy hider in the past (that is how I found all the info I found such as dating sites, email addresses, passwords etc) I am sure he is being xtra careful with these things IF he is involved again. He knows I know how to check computer history/temp internet files etc. Does anyone know if there is another way to find these things once deleted? I am sure there is. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes before or has some thoughts. Thanks
You can go in way deep in the history that can't be erased...been there done it because I was suspicious of my "X" husband, found I was right and also found out, if you need to check that "deep" you don't need that person in a marriage!
You could always get a "key logger".... it's snooping and an invasion of privacy, yes, but piece of mind is worth it (good OR bad). Make sure you get one that is invisible (runs in the background, doesn't show up in computer menus or install lists) and is accessible only by hitting a combination of keys, such as Keylogger: FREE Home Keylogger - invisible keystroke recorder. Put Yourself in Control! Home Keylogger
You can try the free version, but the $30 or whatever for the full version has better "stealth" features. PM me if you need more info.
You need to get a keystroke logger program and download it onto your computer. Just type "keystroke logger" into your browser and a whole bunch of different programs will show up. You choose one, pay for it with a credit card (preferably your own card and keep your statements hidden) and download the program onto your computer. Every time he uses the computer the system will log every keystroke. That way you can see where he's been and you will have the password for his email and you can go in there and check it.
I have nothing to add in the way of advise... but know that you'll be in my prayers. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y164/canibeyou/2pray.gif (broken link)
Several years ago I found out my hus was involved with internet, phone and TV porn. He went as far as to being part of dating sites (married but looking) and even had his own VM so that women could leave messages. We went a year without having sex (he never wanted to) Long story short, I never found any proof of him physically cheating, but common sense says he probably did, but what do you do when there is no proof? I did leave for several months. He started going to counseling, I came back home and for the past year or so I havn't suspected anything. However, whenever we have sex, I initiate it (this was one reason for me to suspect something back in the beginning) and he NEVER ejaculates. It is so robotic. We are both in our mid 30's and take very good care of ourselves physically, so sex before this was never an issue. I suspect he has a secret email address but have exhausted myself in trying to figure out the password. Because he was a sloppy hider in the past (that is how I found all the info I found such as dating sites, email addresses, passwords etc) I am sure he is being xtra careful with these things IF he is involved again. He knows I know how to check computer history/temp internet files etc. Does anyone know if there is another way to find these things once deleted? I am sure there is. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes before or has some thoughts. Thanks
If your instincts tell you that you can't trust your husband do you really need proof of cheating? A man (or woman) should never make their spouse doubt their love and your man obviously is making you doubt him (or could it be that you are being... unreasonably snoopy???). Just a thought. Great relationships are based on trust. I would seriously question staying with someone who has the need to get funky with other women. "Married but looking" website? Oh no, that's a serious red flag. Maybe you should cut your loses and run for it... good luck..
Yes I responded to you in the technology forum. Get a snoopstick that should do the trick and he won't know it's even there. You can even track his activity from another computer. You will see email, IM and websites visited. There are other tools you can use to pull data, even if deleted from the hard drive, but this will give you information on what he is currently doing. If you use this I would make sure that you print out the data found.
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this, I've been there and wish I had something like this to at least track what was going on.
I wish you the all the best.
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(this was one reason for me to suspect something back in the beginning) and he NEVER ejaculates. It is so robotic. We are both in our mid 30's and take very good care of ourselves physically, so sex before this was never an issue. I suspect he has a secret email address but have exhausted myself in trying to figure out the password. Because he was a sloppy hider in the past (that is how I found all the info I found such as dating sites, email addresses, passwords etc) I am sure he is being xtra careful with these things IF he is involved again. He knows I know how to check computer history/temp internet files etc. Does anyone know if there is another way to find these things once deleted? I am sure there is. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes before or has some thoughts. Thanks
If your instincts tell you that you can't trust your husband do you really need proof of cheating? A man (or woman) should never make their spouse doubt their love and your man obviously is making you doubt him (or could it be that you are being... unreasonably snoopy???). Just a thought. Great relationships are based on trust. I would seriously question staying with someone who has the need to get funky with other women. "Married but looking" website? Oh no, that's a serious red flag. Maybe you should cut your loses and run for it... good luck..
