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So it happened today that I'm very sad about one of the break ups and can't seem to get past it my normal solution is to talk to a bunch of guys in order to not think of him and have fun, but tonight that is not working at all and I'm wondering if continually doing this is preventing my healing?
After a break up you didn't want what should you be doing?
The four year relationship started off fine but no I had no deep feelings,he did, I did not understand love at the time,I was never really open I don't recall saying I love you much but that's because my feelings weren't deep,im definately ready emotionally now to be very open,your advice is really helpful.
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Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
Let me ask. Do you have close relationships with other people? Parents, siblings, or friends that you genuinely are concerned with? That will show if there's an issue or not. because if there's nobody in your life you care about deeply, or would feel sad at the loss of, then there would seem to be a lack of empathy involved, or inability to feel such feelings toward people.
Even with years, it still really depends on the investment and how close you both were emotionally. Sadly, you can be associated with someone for years, but still not love them. It's about opening yourself up and showing your vulnerability to the other person and said person being receptive to it and feeling the same. You could be acquainted with someone for a long time. You get together, do fun stuff, and chat. But that's based on good times. There's no real vulnerability or connection. It's still a relationship more about possibly having fun and nice sex. But no deep connection was ever made.
So in that 4 year relationship, how deep was it? Time isn't really an indicator. Because all relationships are different. A man I used to be acquainted with, haven't seen in years. Dated a girl for years, and never loved her. He was just dating her for the sex and because he found her hot. Needless to say, that relationship ended, and he's married to a woman he did love.
Not to me. No feelings, no devastation. Sounds like a decent deal to me.
If you have no feelings, WHY would you be dating that particular person in the first place?
OP, it sounds like maybe you haven't been particularly interested in any of these guys, so it's very natural that you wouldn't be upset when those relationships end. Why would you be?
The question you SHOULD be asking yourself, is "why do I feel a need to get into relationships with men I'm not really into?"
Sounds like antisocial personality disorder to me.
I don't know if I'd go that far.
The OP sounds very young emotionally, and she's probably making choices accordingly. Depending on how old she is, though, it might be time for her to grow out of that and learn to enjoy being alone until a guy that she REALLY digs comes along.
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