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I will give you the short version. Take away her immaturity, it is much more fun to be around someone who is young and full of life than being around a bitter, jaded woman my age who has 3 kids,and has been through a divorce or two.
I would not actively pursue a relationship with someone that young because we are on different pages but I would rather be around "fun" people than jaded, bitter people.
I understand this completely. Yet I've gotten some snide comments here for saying younger women have less baggage. A lot of times, going out with a 21 year old is so much more refreshing than going out with a 30 year old.
To give you the honest answer, I would say, probably not!
I think you do know what the right thing is to do here, based on this comment and your other one about girls that age being impressionable. Your gut is trying to tell you something.
Nothing wrong with being attracted to someone but that doesn't mean it needs to be acted upon.
My daughter is 19 and I am 41. There would have to be some severe daddy issues going on for my daughter to go there, so much so that I can't really wrap my head around what I would say to a man my age at my front door.
I know this might tick off a few readers, but 19 is the worst.A perfect storm of know-it-all cluelessness. This is not the first time I've said it here, so I'm not making it up for your thread. I was terrible at 19 too. Thought I was all grown up and ready to elbow my way to my rightful place at the adult table. I am heavily prejudiced against that particular age.
It is/they are, Jules. Very impressionable/naive. Perfect candidates for older men seeking young women.
Anyways, I live in a college town and I am around young girls all the time. I am not a professor but I still have ties to the university. Last week, through a function, I got to meet a 19 year old girl. Let me first make it very clear that I find nothing in common with 95% of the girls I interact here but this girl is cool and acts a little older
I really enjoy our conversations and I can tell she does not come from a very stable family background but she is trying to be a good person. There was great chemistry and she gave all the signs of interest through her body language BUT deep inside, I know it is probably not the greatest idea to get involved with someone that young, even if it is only physically and sexually.
Should I be repressing these feelings? This is not the first time nor the last time it has happened but usually my rational side kicks in and I stop but deep inside, I really wanted to get her phone number and see what happens.
If you were her father, would you automatically hate me without knowing anything about my background? I am off base, please call me out
Western society has programmed you to feel bad about big age gaps. You shouldn't even be asking if it's ok. It's fine. Older man/younger woman is perfect.
I think you do know what the right thing is to do here, based on this comment and your other one about girls that age being impressionable. Your gut is trying to tell you something.
Nothing wrong with being attracted to someone but that doesn't mean it needs to be acted upon.
Well, I know it is not illegal since she is 19. I know it is not ideal because we are on different pages but perhaps I feel the way I do about it because society keeps telling us it is wrong.
Like I said, it is more of a personal moral dillema that I have always had living in this town.
Many people will say it is totally wrong and inappropriate, others will say there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I probably would not want my 19 year old daughter with a 38 year old guy because I would think she would be easily controlled and influenced by the guy.
Like I stated before, a couple years ago, I hung out with a 19 year old girl who was going through some issues. We never did anything romantic or sexual but I felt that she really needed someone to talk to.
One thing I don't understand though. If a girl is 19 and she is attracted to an older guy, does it automatically mean she has Daddy issues?
I work with a girl who is 21, she is super cute, top notch person from a good family. Last month, we were having a conversation and she told me she finds a specific country singer "very attractive". The guy is my age, so does she have Daddy issues too?
Take away her immaturity, it is much more fun to be around someone who is young and full of life than being around a bitter, jaded woman my age who has 3 kids,and has been through a divorce or two.
OP: When I was 31 I dated a 19 year for two years. So when it ended I was 33 and she was 21.
It probably helped that she her parents were from Brazil so they were far more open minded than the prudes in this country. But she was born in the US and very Americanized. At the time she was attending a top flight university and her father was a wealthy banker. I was just out of grad school and getting my career started. We had a great time. Great memories.
Edit: I thought the title said the OP was 30 and she was 19. Must be early in the morning. I see now it is 38....
Last edited by Astral_Weeks; 09-19-2015 at 08:04 AM..
Just because it's legal, doesn't mean it's moral. I don't have a problem with men or women dating younger people but there's a huge maturity difference between a 19 year old and a 38 year old. I'm 38 and I can't imagine dating someone so young. I would feel like an old pervert.
Please stay away from this girl and let her be a kid. Don't be that creepy guy.
Just because it's legal, doesn't mean it's moral. I don't have a problem with men or women dating younger people but there's a huge maturity difference between a 19 year old and a 38 year old. I'm 38 and I can't imagine dating someone so young. I would feel like an old pervert.
Please stay away from this girl and let her be a kid. Don't be that creepy guy.
Bull. In the west, it may be considered creepy, but the world is big and there are many more cultures, most of which don't consider it creepy at all. His instinct is to be attracted to her, and what's not attractive about a 19 year old girl?
She has the most beautiful eyes and I think I would be happy to just get to know her better but I think it all leads to sex eventually, whether you like it or not. Only problem is that, young girls are easily impressed, therefore there is a side of me that tells me I shouldnt even be thinking about doing anything with someone this young, it has been always a moral dillema for me.
IMO; if you are posting the question here..or anywhere...you are having your own second thoughts about going into this situation.
Listen to your gut feelings on this. Or not. It's your drama.
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