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The only issue with this is how long it takes her to figure out that he is right for her and the probability of them both being single when she finally figures it out. Most people don't want to sit around for years using their right hand relying on chance encounters at church, work, etc with this individual to slowly build a relationship. That's why it is so rare to see an attractive woman with a less attractive man (out side of money issues) because the stars have to align for it to happen. Either that or the guy has so little self respect that he holds out in the friend zone while she gets ran through by a string of guys (much better looking than him).
when the hormones are going people are not going to sit and twiddle their thumbs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge
In my experience, she gives the average guy a chance because she already has experience with him. She knows him, from work, from church, from school. And he's made her smile, he's always nice to her, he's shown that he's worth taking a chance on. He is her type. Generally, women aren't as visual as men. Women like looking at physically attractive men, but they don't necessarily connect with a man just because he's attractive. And women who are pursuing a relationship, not just a one-night stand, are looking for a connection. Different women want different kinds of connections. Some women are looking for a sense of security, they want to feel safe in his arms, they get turned on when he asks for her keys to the car because he noticed one of her tires is low on air and he's going to fix that. Some women are looking for a connection based on common interests. Will he introduce her to new adventures? Can she introduce him to new experiences? Their common interests will lead to shared experiences that will bond them together. Women aren't all the same, they each offer something unique. And when you connect with people because you share something with them, then they become more and more attractive to you, regardless of if they are a little pudgy, or they are short, or their smile is crooked. These things actually become part of why you love someone.
Very rarely do I personally see an attractive woman with a guy that's below average in looks. But online I always hear of people say that they have a friend or someone they know that's not attractive but has a lot of confidence, good personality, etc. that's with a good looking woman. But do those relationships ever last for the long term since I rarely ever see it myself? I just always usually see attractive women with attractive men, average women with average men, below average women with average or below average men. But it's extremely rare to see attractive women with below average men & just occasionally see them with average men.
This is what I see mostly. When in Miami, I see attractive women with average men, Average men with average women, attractive women with unattractive men. Attractive men with attractive men.
Here in NYC I see unattractive women with attractive men, average women with attractive men, attractive men with attractive men, unattractive men with no one, and hot women with no one, and last unattractive women with average men.
This is what I see mostly. When in Miami, I see attractive women with average men, Average men with average women, attractive women with unattractive men. Attractive men with attractive men.
Here in NYC I see unattractive women with attractive men, average women with attractive men, attractive men with attractive men, unattractive men with no one, and hot women with no one, and last unattractive women with average men.
Yeah, I do believe that it is primarily looks-based. People will date the best looking person that they can (especially women) and then will rationalize his other qualities. Not true in all cases, but most.
This is what I see mostly. When in Miami, I see attractive women with average men, Average men with average women, attractive women with unattractive men. Attractive men with attractive men.
Here in NYC I see unattractive women with attractive men, average women with attractive men, attractive men with attractive men, unattractive men with no one, and hot women with no one, and last unattractive women with average men.
Yeah, I do believe that it is primarily looks-based. People will date the best looking person that they can (especially women) and then will rationalize his other qualities. Not true in all cases, but most.
This is likely the case, but people posting in here assume personality & charisma triumphs all in the grand scheme of things. The first thing you see is the way they look. It's highly doubtful in most cases that charisma & personality alone will win the woman over unless he has a huge list of things going for him that makes him go from friend zone to relationship quality in their eyes. I just don't believe a very attractive woman would date an unattractive guy just due to his personality alone. He needs a lot more going for him than that.
This is likely the case, but people posting in here assume personality & charisma triumphs all in the grand scheme of things. The first thing you see is the way they look. It's highly doubtful in most cases that charisma & personality alone will win the woman over unless he has a huge list of things going for him that makes him go from friend zone to relationship quality.
I agree with what you are saying to a degree - but I think you still are missing the key to relationships. First of all, the more desirable qualities that a person has, the more desirable they probably are going to be to a larger number of people. I just disagree with your hierarchy of desirable qualities. I think that charisma and personality go a lot farther than you seem to think it does. Unless someone is just looking for someone to support them, most people are looking for someone they can laugh with, cry with, do nothing with, do exciting things with, go through hard times with, go through good times with, etc. Money can't provide all that. Neither can just a pretty face.
Ironically I was bored yesterday and watched Hitch for the first time in a decade. Which if you all recall, is about regular joes creating opportunities with the women of their dreams.
All guys have a chance if they make a women feel awesome, and that was really the premise of the main character's relationship with the heiress. She was waiting around for someone who showed that they believed in her and thought she was capable. Then she was smitten.
There is big element of truth in that movie actually.
I've only seen that movie once and the things I got out of that movie was develop some fashion sense and just don't be boring. Most continually single men tend to dress like slobs and have too many introverted hobbies. Not saying all but most of them.
I agree with what you are saying to a degree - but I think you still are missing the key to relationships. First of all, the more desirable qualities that a person has, the more desirable they probably are going to be to a larger number of people. I just disagree with your hierarchy of desirable qualities. I think that charisma and personality go a lot farther than you seem to think it does. Unless someone is just looking for someone to support them, most people are looking for someone they can laugh with, cry with, do nothing with, do exciting things with, go through hard times with, go through good times with, etc. Money can't provide all that. Neither can just a pretty face.
I get that, but at the same time no woman wants to be with a guy that's not seen as desirable. Women love it when their guy is seen as a catch & don't watch to be with a guy that's deemed unattractive. It's very hard for me to believe as I said numerous times that the unattractive guy can win over the attractive woman based on personality only unless he brings numerous other things to the table. And true, I suppose it could go the other way too in terms of some attractive women not bringing everything to a relationship just because their attractive. But I think most guys aim to get with the most attractive woman they can & hope she has a great personality to go with it. Some guys would get with any attractive woman regardless of their personality & than get walked all over in the relationship because she knows she can get away with it.
This is likely the case, but people posting in here assume personality & charisma triumphs all in the grand scheme of things. The first thing you see is the way they look. It's highly doubtful in most cases that charisma & personality alone will win the woman over unless he has a huge list of things going for him that makes him go from friend zone to relationship quality in their eyes. I just don't believe a very attractive woman would date an unattractive guy just due to his personality alone. He needs a lot more going for him than that.
I've heard a lot of Christian women, in the South, say that if an attractive women wants a decent man, she'll have to marry someone with beauty on the inside and not really on the outside (like Quasimodo). Something about being both handsome and kind is considered rare or nonexistent. It's like you can't have both cookies and cake. You have to take one or the other. It's like the reverse of what some European societies, back in the ?medieval? times, thought of people (beautiful on the inside and outside; ugly on the inside and outside). Some women will go far to even say that Jesus, Himself, was not handsome, but very humble...
From my experience (because experience is amazing knowledge and I totally debunked this "knowledge" in the first paragraph) I met a guy who was very handsome and humble. Actually, I met several guys who were handsome and had a pretty cool personality.
Here's some more insight; when I was doing this program at my school, this really attractive and rich girl from a different school (our rival high school) was flirting with one of my classmates. It turned out she was using him for a good grade (since the program we were in sent us to college during the 2nd semester of our senior year). I actually think that some chemistry sparked between them even though she had an attractive boyfriend (I believe he was a jock; not as smart as my classmate). Not only was my classmate charming (in his quiet nature), but he was also seen as someone to have a successful future. Ever heard of the nerd that came back to be everybody's boss? She was using him at first, but I do think she and he developed feelings for each other. She was right to gain feelings for him because she would have been taken care of financially (even more so since she was already rich) in the future. Heck, my friends and I even made up rumors about those two, they were so googly eyed...
Anyways, here's some insight from my experiences and from what I've seen. There are multiple reasons why attractive women would go for less attractive guy, but every women will have different reasons
OP, the motives behind an attractive woman dating an average or below average man might be:
- wants to be the attractive one in the pair
- has low self-esteem
- guy has a lot of things going for him such as wealth, personality, humor etc
- tired of dating good looking guys due to cheating or being neglected(more a guy has more opportunities he has to cheat so why not date someone who's less likely to cheat)
- right circumstances(both work in the same place, go to the same school, met thru mutual friends, etc )
There are so many reasons why an attractive woman dates an average guy. It's really not that hard to grasp. Most good looking guys I know just want to sleep with as many girls as they can. Also they are the ones most likely to cheat since it's easier for them.
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